That’s It – Christmas Is Cancelled, and You Can Thank the People Selling Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

I hate to ruin the holiday season before we’re a full 10 days into December, but I had to do it.

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I don’t even know where to start with this one. Here I was, just enjoying a nice, relaxing Sunday evening. I watched Bad Moms for the first time so I wouldn’t feel lost when I tried to watch A Bad Moms Christmas before Jesus’ big day. I packed my lunch for the next three days and did the exact amount of laundry to get me through one workday. I didn’t think there was anything that could ruin my wonderful Sunday routine until I hopped on the Ol’ Twitter Machine to see what type of offerings they had for me before I fired up a Netflix marathon that would undoubtedly lead to me running around my house like a god damn McCallister after the power reset their alarm clocks tomorrow morning.

That’s when I came across this horrific news: Continue reading

BREAKING: Man (Possibly Horatio Sanz) Chooses Dog Treats Over Thanksgiving Feast

I’m not even sure where to start on this one. There are so many things I hate about this video. First of all, why do you air a dog show leading up to a day full of football? Even if I was in the mood for a dog show, I’m going to absolutely despise it because of the simple fact that it’s not football. If I’m waiting on football, nothing else on the TV will get a fair shake. Right or wrong, that’s how it is and I’ll never apologize for that. Now it’s starting to make sense on why I hate parades. There’s a time and place for dog shows and parades. The prelude to a football marathon with breaks for booze, food and pies ain’t it, chief.

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Nati Boys #83: Marvin is Oddly Confident

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Hue Jackson is officially back with the Cincinnati Bengals, and Marvin Lewis is fooling us into believing that he has everything under control. We also chat about the Steelers and Le’Veon Bell being an unrestricted FA at the end of the season, and the Chiefs/Rams game being moved out of Mexico City. Our fantasy draft this week is of our favorite sports beefs, with the recent turmoil in the Warriors camp between KD and Draymond Green being the inspiration. Enjoy the show!

Intro music provided by: http://www.bensound.com

 

 

Markelle Fultz Reminds Us How Hilarious the Yips Can Be

I don’t really have a lot to add to this other than the fact that I wanted all 17 of our readers to get their eyes on it. Markelle Fultz has a case of the yips that would make Rick Ankiel blush. I don’t even know how someone physically pulls this off without losing the ball or accidentally stepping over the free throw line. This is the type of juke-pump fake you give your friends in a game of 21 in the driveway to thwart their attempt to tip you in. Only this time it didn’t work and he missed. It’s just too bad nobody tipped him in and sent the Sixers back to zero (or 13, depending on your neighborhood’s rules).

Paging Commissioner Silver: Play the first half of the season with 21 rules. It’s not like anyone is trying anyway.

As Expected, Hue Jackson is Returning to the Cincinnati Bengals

Some love stories are too beautiful to end. Even though this love story has the feeling of a Romeo and Juliet-esque ending, the Hue Jackson and Marvin Lewis love saga is getting another chapter.

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Gritty the Philadelphia Flyers Mascot Paves the Way For Mascots to Join Political Ranks

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The Score – Could Gritty have a future in politics? Some people in New Jersey apparently think so.

The Philadelphia Flyers’ mascot earned 14 write-in votes from residents in Camden, N.J. in the midterm elections, according to Michael Blinn of the New York Post. There was a pair of votes for Gritty to be county sheriff and another two for the U.S. House in N.J. District 1.

Before we start, let’s address the elephant in the room. I know what everyone is thinking.

But Mac, haven’t we already seen what an orange politician would look like in office? 

Well, loyal readers, I don’t think I have to tell you that Sesame Street’s Ernie lost his campaign for Senate in 2010. We all remember how that went down. Oh, what could’ve been. Stupid leaked tapes.

Gritty is a known barbarian. Actually, I don’t know that for a fact but look at him. He looks like Scott Hartnell lost his gym membership and fired his barber. And I say that as someone who loves Scott Hartnell. But when it comes to trusting a mascot with our healthcare and public spending, I want more than a non-verbal, unkempt Scott Hartnell running the show. Continue reading

Who Dat Got Hurt? Dez Bryant Likely Out For Season With Torn Achilles

Is it possible to not feel bad for the Saints but also feel bad for Dez Bryant in this situation? I don’t just say that because our mighty Bengals host the juggernaut New Orleans Saints this week. The Saints were a prime example of the rich getting richer with the signing of Dez Bryant this week. They just out gunned the previously undefeated St. Louis Los Angeles Rams of Anaheim Located in Southern California West of Nevada in Week 9. Did they really need to add Dez Bryant, a stud wide receiver even though he 100% did not catch that ball in Green Bay? They were the lucky winners in Dez’s game of wait and see, but unfortunately it looks like Dez will be on the Free Agency Tour of 2019 without stepping foot on the field in 2018. Sound like anyone else you know, Pittsburgh fans? Continue reading