Joey Votto Is in the Market for a Donkey


Just when I thought I couldn’t love this team more, this happens. – Reds shortstop Zack Cozart, who is having a phenomenal season, jumped over Dodgers shortstop Corey Seager as the leading vote-getter at his position. Pretty neat to see Cozart get so much support.

Anyway, if Cozart does make the All-Star Game this season, teammate Joey Votto promised him a special gift: a donkey. Yes, a donkey. I don’t get it either, but it is what it is.

People always complain that Joey is a robot and doesn’t do anything redeemable outside of being one of the best hitters of our generation. What will the haters say now? Just because Joey doesn’t have a tagline he repeats ad nauseam or laugh uncontrollably when he knows the cameras are on him after a great play, people have always assumed he has zero personality and is annoyed by fans. Now that that non-specific player I just described was traded to the Braves, the real Joey is finally being discovered.

I’ve always been a firm believer that Joey is very serious about his craft but still knows how to have a good time and this proves it. How many guys in the MLB have dressed up as a Canadian Mountie with a fictitious horse named ‘Nibbles’ and now promise to purchase a donkey if his longtime teammate makes the Midsummer Classic? You’re correct, one.

As to why Zack Cozart, a family man playing for the Cincinnati Reds would want a donkey? It sounds like its more that Joey wants to buy a donkey for his friend, and Zack will just have to deal with it.

With his hot start to the season and continued success through the first half of June, it looks like Zack will be given the task of trying to house a donkey in Cincinnati come July. I just hope Joey goes about purchasing the donkey tactfully – one has to think a Google search for cheap donkeys could raise some eyebrows.