Wake Up With Whitty – 9/30/2017

Good morning and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. A lot is going on in the sports world right now. The college basketball world has been rocked by scandal, which hits particularly hard if you happen to be a Louisville fan. We’re just a day away from October, which is a huge month for sports. College football teams start to get into the bulk of their conference schedules, MLB playoffs get underway, and the NHL and NBA seasons start up (Wake me up when September ends, am I right?). So go ahead and settle in with your caffeinated beverage of choice. Maybe it’s coffee. Maybe it’s tea. Maybe it’s an energy drink. Maybe it’s something really cool that I don’t even know about. I’m accepting of all ways of life here, unlike one of my coffee-drinking elitist fellow bloggers. Unless you’re one of those people that just wake up naturally energized and don’t need caffeine to get through life. That’s weird. Get out of here with that shit.

Shocking News Out of Los Angeles

Is nothing sacred anymore? Los Angeles Chargers super fan Boltman was subjected to harassment by stadium security and LA county sheriffs deputies for refusing to take off his mask this past weekend at the Chargers game against the Kansas City Chiefs. He was told he had two options: remove the mask or be kicked out of the stadium. They tried to hit him with some bullshit about how StubHub Center rules prohibit the wearing of masks on the concourse (which turns out to be true), but c’mon people, this is Boltman. The rules don’t apply to him. Plus it’s a soccer stadium, their rules don’t even count anyways because soccer isn’t even a real sport (don’t @ me). This kind of shit never would have happened in San Diego. This is further proof that the Chargers organization never should have left for LA.

Thankfully calmer heads prevailed and Boltman was eventually allowed to go on about his business. If they would have unmasked Boltman I’m not sure I could recover from the trauma. Frankly I’m still reeling just from finding out that Boltman is wearing a mask and that he doesn’t actually look like that in real life. It’s like when a 4-year-old at Disney World finds out that the Mickey Mouse he just took a picture with is actually just a cast member wearing a costume. Just knowing that it isn’t the real Mickey is bad enough, but seeing the mouse head ripped off only to reveal a human head underneath could scar a kid for life.

The sad thing is, oppressive policies such as this are going to make it hard for fans like Boltman to continue to support the team. And it’s not like the Chargers can afford to be turning away fans at this point as the city of Los Angeles has yet to embrace the San Diego transplant. Hopefully something can be done to change these ridiculous rules. No word yet on whether or not the Chargers players are planning any pregame demonstrations to raise awareness of. Boltman’s plight, but I, for one, stand with Boltman.

Scott Baldwin (Lion Bite) – Out

There’s a line I never thought I’d see on an injury report. The Ospreys, a professional rugby team from Wales, were forced to play without their star hooker (lol), Scott Baldwin, after Baldwin’s hand was bitten by a lion. The team was visiting a safari park prior to its match in South Africa when Baldwin reached into the lion’s cage to pet it and was subsequently bitten. Ospreys head coach Steve Tandy, understandably agitated with his star hooker (haha), called it “pretty stupid” and added that he didn’t “know what sort of wildlife show Scott has been watching where you can pat a lion on the head like it’s a kitten.”

I don’t know what kind of kittens Coach Tandy is used to seeing, but I was just viciously mauled by my own cat last night for patting him on the head. You actually can almost see one of the scratches still. I don’t play any sports right now, but you can bet if I did I wouldn’t be sitting out my next game from a few little cat scratches. I guess this is further proof that rugby players are soft (don’t @ me). Thankfully Scott Baldwin was able to be stitched up at a local hospital and should be just fine once his wounds heal up, and the Ospreys hooker (😂) should be able to return to game action soon. He’s lucky it wasn’t a lot worse though. Next time he’ll probably think twice before sticking his hand inside a wild animal’s cage.

Yankees use Fans to Outsource Cheating

A Yankees fan was ejected from a game earlier this week for tipping pitch locations. In the 8th inning of Tuesday’s Yankees/Rays matchup, a fan was heard yelling pitch locations in Spanish to Yankees catcher Gary Sanchez during his at bat. After several times, the umpire stopped play, signaled stadium security to come down and had the fan ejected. Sanchez then proceeded to hit an RBI single. This just goes to show you the difference between the Yankees and Red Sox (America’s greatest rivalry, or do I’m told). The Red Sox get caught using a smart watch to steal signs. The Yankees elected to use a dumb fan instead.

Rays catcher Wilson Ramos admitted that the fan was actually correct with his pitch locations, which is pretty impressive if you ask me. Sitting behind home plate, his perspective doesn’t let him see much more than what the batter can see, I wouldn’t think, so I’m not quite sure how he knew. I’m guessing he thinks twice before yelling out pitch locations at a game. Maybe next time just use it as a trick to impress your drunk friends.

Parting Thoughts

Thank you for joining me for another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. If you liked what you read be sure to leave a comment and let me know. Check out Milliron Sports on Facebook and Twitter, and subscribe to the Nati Boys podcast on iTunes. We’ve got ourselves an early candidate for Worst Game of the Year between the Bengals and Browns tomorrow, so that should be fun. Hopefully the Bengals can come away with a victory in a battle of AFC North juggernauts. See you next weekend.

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