Good morning and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. It’s finally every Bengals fan’s favorite time of year: the week that the Bengals place Tyler Eifert on season ending injured reserve. It only took a little over 4 weeks this year, almost a record time. Fun fact, I bought an Eifert jersey prior to the 2014 season. He didn’t even make it through the first game that year. Since I purchased the jersey he’ll have played in 24 out of a possible 64 games for the Bengals (including the remainder of the 2017 season). Many people are saying he’s fallen victim to the infamous Whitty Jersey Curse. Did I contribute to his inability to stay healthy by purchasing his jersey? (Maybe.). Is it just a coincidence? (Probably.) Should I grow up and be an adult and stop wearing sports jerseys in general? (Never.) There’s a pretty good chance that we’ve seen him play his last game as a Bengal. As an Eifert fan, that’s tough to swallow, but it’s hard to justify keeping a guy around when he’s on the field for less than half of the team’s games. So instead, fans have to come to terms and do the only thing that’s reasonable: focus on other peoples’ problems to distract us from our own. Here’s Wake Up With Whitty.
Goodell’s Biggest Fan
It’s a copy cat league out there, folks. You see it in sports all the time: an athlete or team has success with a particular strategy, and next thing you know, everybody’s copying that strategy. So it should come as a surprise to no one that, after how successful and well-received Kevin Durant’s fake Twitter account was, that more people would start creating burner accounts to send themselves fake compliments. That’s exactly what Jane Goodall, wife of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, admitted to doing according to a story in the Wall Street Journal. She said that as a former member of the media, she hated seeing people only tell one side of the story, and as a wife and a mother, she wanted to stick up for the man she loved. Again, the exact same reasoning KD used.
People will probably give the Goodell’s crap for this, but I think it’s awfully romantic. It’s a modern day love story. I can’t wait until they make a movie about this. Tweet starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone. It’s going to be a hit. Plus isn’t your spouse supposed to be your biggest fan? Or, in our case here at Milliron Sports, our spouses are our only fans, but I digress…
From a Twitter user standpoint, I find this a bit problematic. I no longer know who to trust online, and I assume every account I interact with is a fake account set up by someone with a hidden agenda that they’re trying to get across. I miss the old days of Yahoo! chat rooms where you knew everyone you talked to was who they said they were. I also think we have a bigger problem on our hands. As I mentioned, Mrs. Goodell seeing KD’s fake account and deciding to follow suit is “monkey see, monkey do”. You know who was famous for working with monkeys? Jane Goodall. Sounds a lot like Jane Goodell, no? Has anyone ever seen the primatologist and the commissioner’s wife together in the same room? Nope. I think Jane Goodell is a burner account for Jane Goodall, and she’s teaching her apes to use fake Twitter accounts to infiltrate the human race so they can take us over. I’ve never seen any of the Planet of the Apes movies, but I assume that that’s the exact plot of all of them. And to put it bluntly, unless we start sniffing out these fake Twitter accounts, I think we’re fucked.
The NCAA Sucks
Former Ohio State basketball recruit Braxton Beverly has been deemed ineligible for the upcoming college basketball season. Beverly had previously committed to the Buckeyes but decided to transfer to NC State when Thad Matta was fired this offseason. The reason for his ineligibility? He decided to get a jump start on his education and attended a summer class at Ohio State, so the NCAA ruled that he was a “transfer” and has to sit out the upcoming season. Even though Ohio State released him from his letter of intent and he never played a game for the Buckeyes, he’s not going to be able to play this year for NC State because he attended a class before transferring. Makes perfect sense.
This story is even more absurd when considering the recent NCAA ruling regarding UNC student athletes. North Carolina was entrenched in an academic scandal where they were accused of many things, including having fake classes that required no attendance that many athletes, including Tar Heels football and basketball players, used to maintain eligibility. The NCAA essentially ruled that this type of academic fraud was up to its member schools to govern, and they therefore could not punish UNC. So if a player attends a class at another school and then decides to transfer when the coach he committed to is fired, that player should be forced to sit out a year, but if a player enrolls in fake classes that he never attends just so he can remain eligible then it’s not the NCAA’s problem? Got it. Shame on Beverly for trying to get a jump start on his education. Let’s just hope he doesn’t have a YouTube account too. The NCAA may just throw him in jail.
Strasburg Gives in to Internet Bullies, then Dominates Cubs
Earlier this week the Nationals announced that Stephen Strasburg would not make his scheduled game 4 start on Wednesday because he wasn’t feeling well enough to pitch. Then the internet unleashed on him. Lots of colorful language to describe Strasburg and his decision not to pitch. People were relentless. Then, all of a sudden he was better. I’m pretty sure he was bullied into pitching when he didn’t feel well. He then proceeded to go out and pitch 7 shutout innings as the Nats went on to force game 5. I’m sure at the time Cubs fans wished people would have just left Strasburg alone. Luckily for them the Cubs won game 5 to advance to the NLCS, but this was still a pretty absurd story that probably doesn’t happen 5-10 years ago. The internet is a hell of a place.
Thank you again for joining me for another Wake Up With Whitty. Leave me a comment and let me know what you thought, and hit that “Like” button if you enjoyed it. Be sure to check out Milliron Sports on Facebook and Twitter and subscribe to the Nati Boys podcast on iTunes. See you all next weekend.