Good Morning and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. It’s the end of Daylight Saving Time, so if you haven’t already, make sure you set your microwave’s clock back an hour. And if you have any other clocks in your house that don’t set themselves automatically then you need to re-evaluate your life choices. I always have a hard time wrapping my mind around whether I’m getting extra time or if I’m losing time. And the people that don’t even take part in Daylight Saving Time? Are they living in the future? Or the past? Time travel is a complex, confusing concept. All I know is if for some reason this blog post isn’t available when you would normally expect it, it’s because it got lost in the Daylight Saving Time time warp. Sorry.
Houston’s Roller Coaster Week
Still recovering from the destruction brought on by Hurricane Harvey, the city of Houston was in need of something positive to celebrate. Just 2 months removed from the devastating storm, the Houston Astros have given the city just that. A bright spot, a bit of joy to bring a smile to the faces of many who are still trying to put their lives back together. It’s a great story for the city of Houston. On Wednesday night the Astros wrapped up the first World Series championship in franchise history. The 7-game series between the Astros and Dodgers was one of the most exciting World Series that we’ve seen in quite some time. Or at least that’s what I’ve read on Twitter. I honestly didn’t watch a single pitch of the World Series, but I hear that it was good. Everything seemed to be coming up Houston, but that only lasted for about 24 hours…
Just a game out of first place in the AFC South, things were looking positive for the Houston Texans heading into week 9. Their rookie quarterback was playing lights out and the team was in good shape for a playoff birth if they could hang with the Jaguars and Titans, which isn’t exactly a tall task. That all changed Thursday when Deshaun Watson tore his ACL in a non-contact drill in practice. Watson has been one of the most exciting young players to watch in the NFL right now, and he was well on his way to a potential Rookie of the Year award. This injury is pretty devastating to the Texans who will look to Tom Savage to fill in during Watson’s absence. While Savage may be a serviceable backup, there’s most no replacing what Watson brought to the team. The Sports Gods can be cruel, and while they did allow the city of Houston to have a brief moment of joy, they didn’t waste any time bringing the city back down to earth. At lease they’ve got the Rockets to hitch their wagon to right now, because the Texans likely won’t give them much to celebrate the rest of this season.
Papa John Blames Anthem Protests For Shitty Pizza
Papa John’s came out earlier this week and claimed that the company’s declining sales and stock prices are the result of its sponsorship deal with the NFL. The pizza chain’s CEO, Papa John himself, said the NFL’s lack of leadership in handling the National Anthem protests have lead to the decline, and the pizza company has considered terminating the relationship with the NFL. Several of Papa John’s competitors took the opportunity to chime in on the company’s comments, which has lead to a mini Twitter beef between Papa John’s and DiGiorno’s:
I think it’s an odd move for Papa John’s to blame the NFL and their handing of the Anthem protests for their declining pizza sales. Maybe it has something to do with your shitty pizza instead? As someone who minored in Business at a prestigious MAC school, I’m confident in saying that pizza sales aren’t typically tied to what players do before the start of an NFL game, and I don’t think the pizza magically got worse because NFL players are taking a knee during the National Anthem. Maybe you should look at yourself before you start blaming others. And if you’re going to blame anyone, blame millennials. That’s what everyone else does. They don’t want another pizza with 6 different types of cheese and 4 different types of pepperoni. Maybe introduce a nice gluten free pizza with avocado and sustainably produced goat cheese and you’ll start to see sales go back up.
OKC Team Plane Collides With UFO
I know I’m a little #TardyToTheParty on this one as it happened a little over a week ago, but I have a theory on what happened that I haven’t seen anywhere else yet. For those of you that missed it, the charter plane carrying the Oklahoma City Thunder collided with an object mid-air on the way to Chicago, which created a massive dent in the plane’s nose cone. While the official word is that the plane hit a bird, I’m calling BS on that. I’ve seen several theories: aliens, dinosaurs, meteors, etc. Some of them are a little bit outrageous, but I’m personally on Team Alien with this one. Not just any aliens though, I think one specific group of aliens are to blame here:
That’s right, it was those idiots from Moron Mountain. I think they’ve come back down to Earth to steal the talent from the Oklahoma City Thunder’s stars and they’re going to use it to take over the world. Now I know you naysayers will say “If the Thunder had their talent stolen by some pipsqueak aliens, why have they gone 2-1 since the incident?” Because, idiots, Space Jam was a movie, and it wasn’t very realistic when the stars all lost their talent instantly. In real life, that takes time. It’s a gradual process. But in about a month from now they’ll look about as inept on the court as I would out there. And we’ll also have a full blown Monstars team to deal with (Fun Fact: the Monstars were the original Super Team), and the fate of the planet will be in the balance. If we want to avoid the unthinkable, then we need a hero to get in touch with Bugs Bunny and company and put a stop to these jokers once and for all. So Lebron, Steph, Blake, Kristaps, if any of you are reading this (and I know you are), let’s get on it. The world is counting on you. Also, more importantly, we need to make another soundtrack, because that first Space Jam soundtrack was fire.
Thank you for joining me for another Wake Up With Whitty. If you liked what you saw, leave a comment and let me know. Be sure to follow Milliron Sports on Facebook and Twitter. Check out the Nati Boys podcast on iTunes and Stitcher, and coming soon to Google Play. We have tons of new content coming to you every week so be sure to check out the rest of the site as well. See you next weekend.