Hello and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. The last few weeks of college football have been pretty crazy, in an exciting kind of way (except for last week’s OSU/Iowa game, which I refuse to acknowledge), and yesterday was no exception. We saw two top 4 teams fall and four top 10 teams. In each of the past 3 weeks we’ve seen at least two top 10 teams go down. With two weeks left in the season, plus conference championship games still to come, there’s a good chance we’ll see more shakeups before all is said and done. This could be the first year we see a 2-loss team in the College Football Playoff (fingers crossed). So if the NFL isn’t giving you enough excitement (and if you’re Bengals fan like me, it isn’t), there’s plenty to be found in the college game. And if that doesn’t it for you, then I don’t know how to help you…
Ezekiel Elliott Suspended…Finally
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Ezekiel Elliott is set to begin a 6-game suspension this week. With no more legal road blocks currently on the docket, it looks like the suspension is actually going to stick this time around. It comes at a pretty tough time for Dallas, who sits just a half game out of a wild card spot. Of their next 6 games, three are against NFC East opponents, including the first place Eagles. Needless to say, this is a crucial stretch for the Cowboys and losing Zeke for it is a huge blow. Personally, I’m just happy this is over. The back and forth had gotten to be a bit ridiculous, so I look forward to not having to hear about it again.
Zeke, knowing how important this stretch of games is for his Cowboys, is showing support for the team by leaving the country to an undisclosed location so he can “clear his head”. Makes sense. He says he’ll focus on training so he can come back in the best shape he’s been in, but I don’t see that playing out. I say the same thing every time I go on vacation. “I’m totally going to hit the weight room at the hotel at least three times a week and I’m going to wake up early every day and go for a run on the beach.” Next thing you know you’re taking three trips a meal to the buffet, you’re pounding at least half a dozen beers a night, and what’s this??? You can get a room service cheeseburger at 2 in the morning?! Jackpot! Next thing you know you’ve put on 15 lbs and you’re in the worst shape of your life, all because you picked that all-inclusive resort and dammit you’re going to get your money’s worth. So don’t bet on Zeke setting the world on fire when he returns from suspension. It’ll take at least a few weeks to work off all of those margaritas and loaded nachos from Señor Frog’s.
Former World Series MVP Drunkenly Tackles Country Music Singer
Josh Beckett is currently living his best life. When you’re 37 and going to Open Mic Night, getting hammered and tackling guys that are singing on stage, then you’re doing something right in life. Beckett was arrested Friday night for doing just that. He reportedly admitted to stage diving, and his attorney stated that his client was simply engaging in “horseplay”. First of all, stage diving does not entail diving onto the stage or tackling band members. Second of all, I’m not sure you can call it horseplay when you’re the only one that’s “playing”. This would be a pretty funny drunken tale if it weren’t for the fact that the singer actually suffered injuries. Hopefully it’s nothing too serious. And if nothing else, the guy has a hell of a story to tell now.
As for Beckett, I think he may have found himself a nice little post-baseball career. Think Office Linebacker Terry Tate, but for Open Mic Nights and karaoke bars. There’s nothing that kills a night out like an awful karaoke performance. Sure, there are the few cases where somebody is so bad that it’s entertaining, but it’s a pretty fine line. While it may be universally understood that if you can’t sing you shouldn’t try to do so in public, most establishments won’t actually prevent anyone from getting up there. So who better to enforce the unwritten rules of amateur singing performances than a former hot-headed MLB pitcher? It’s brilliant, and I bet bars would pay a pretty penny for his services.
Bucks Burn Bulls
The Milwaukee Bucks used a recent ticket promotion as an opportunity to troll division rival Chicago. The promotion allowed fans to create a ticket package with their choice of opponents, and each selection included an image of the top star for each team. They chose Lebron for the Cavs, Blake Griffin for the Clippers, Kyrie for the Celtics, etc. However, for the Bulls, who have no real star power, the Bucks included an image of beloved mascot Benny the Bull. It’s hard to argue with them though. The Bulls have no big names to feature, and it shows from their 2-9 record. This whole story just makes me miss playing NBA Jam, where you could unlock Benny the Bull as a secret playable character. Maybe that’s what the Bucks were going for here, and everyone else just assumed they were taking a shot at the lowly Bulls. Or maybe they really were just kicking Chicago while they’re down. I guess we’ll never know.
Thank you for joining me for another Wake Up With Whitty. Leave me a comment and let me know what you thought, and be sure to check out the rest of the blog as well. Keep up with the latest from Milliron Sports on Facebook and Twitter. And make sure you check out The Nati Boys podcast, now available on iTunes, Stitcher, and Google Play. See you next weekend.