Look at this smug asshole. The bat flip. The classic stand-the-bat-on-its-knob trick. All because I hung a curveball on a 1-2 count. Fuckin’ guy. Now I’ve gotta do what’s right. Guess what Aaron, you’re about to wear one next time up. Lucky for me, I can hit mid 90s on The Show. Hope you’ve got ice for that shoulder blade, bub.
That’ll make you think long and hard the next time you park one in the left field bleachers against Ol’ Mac, the 6’4″ 225lb hard throwing right-hander who restarted the game over and over again until he got drafted by the Reds. Sure it took me 3 seasons of simulated game action on Rookie and buying XP $10 at a time to make it to The Show. None of that matters now that it’s mano y mano.
It doesn’t matter how we both got here. All that matters now is who the last man standing will be. Spoiler alert: it’s me.