I’m Officially Out on Peeps

Whyyy Peeps?? Whyyyyyyyy? How could you fall into the same trap Oreos have fallen into with their garbage limited edition flavors? You get one holiday a year: Easter. And now you fucked it up. Is this what Jesus rose from the dead for? I doubt it.

Until today, I was a HUGE Peeps guy. I always start by eating the heads off of the little fellas, or nibbling the ears off of the bunny rabbits. Eventually I just stuff the whole Peep in my mouth until my jaws start to cramp up and I can’t handle another ball of marshmallow covered in sugar. I don’t know if I could even find joy in that anymore. I’m willing to test the theory later today, but that would require putting on something other than gym shorts, and I don’t see that happening.

“Well Mac, will you be buying the yellow or pink Peeps when you muster up the motivation to get dressed for the day?” some might ask. Truth be told, I’m not sure. I might even go blue, but it will be a game time decision and depend on what Kroger has.

If you’re wondering if I’d buy chicks or bunnies, the answer will always be chicks. I’m a dude, so all chicks, all the time. That is, unless someone drops a tray of bunnies in my Easter basket, which I still get every year.

I can tell you one thing though, I won’t be buying the Pancake & Syrup Peeps.

Ok, I probably will. But I’m not gonna be happy about it.

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