The Pope Has Never Seen The Office, and That’s Disappointing

Not gonna lie. This one hurts. I always thought Pope Francis was the Cool Pope. Now, I’m not so sure. The man has missed so much good television since he hasn’t flipped on the ol’ tube post-1990. Keenan & Kel? He’s never seen it. WWE’s Attitude Era? Skipped right past it. Most disappointingly, Pope Francis has never seen The Office. The Pope, the leader of Catholics, has never been filled with joy the second the intro music starts and the camera drives past the “Welcome to Scranton” sign. That’s just sad. Is this one of those deals where it’s best that someone doesn’t know how incredible the thing they’re missing out on is? For example, I used to hate bananas. Not because I tried them and didn’t like them. I just didn’t like them because I never ate them and didn’t feel like trying them. Now I eat bananas all the time. Can’t get enough of them. The Office is the Pope’s bananas, and I’m bananas for The Office. Full circle.

I’m cool with Pope Francis honoring his word that he would no longer watch television, but I can’t help but feel bad for him that he never got to see Jim and Pam finally find true love with each other and move their family to Austin so Jim could chase his dreams with Athleap (formerly Athlead, lest we forget). Would Pope Francis have had his reservations about making Cece switch schools so early in her development? It’s not easy to make new friends in a new city when you have a weird name, so I’m sure he would’ve voiced his displeasure on Twitter and passive aggressively like posts about it on Facebook.

Man, I’d give anything to get his take on Dwight and Angela. Neither of them took the sanctity of marriage seriously, especially the uptight crazy cat lady. Engaged twice, married once and banging Dwight the whole time? Booooyyyyyyyy, the Pope’s tweet history would’ve been outta control. What about all of Michael’s “that’s what she said” jokes? I bet he has a pretty good sense of humor, so we would’ve gotten a nice smirk out of the Most Holy Father.

At the end of the day, I would recommend anyone, in any country, of any religion watch The Office. If Pope Francis plans on breaking his no television rule, I hope the first thing he does is borrow’s someone’s Netflix password to binge watch our generation’s best workplace sitcom. He’ll be sorry he missed it the first time around.

Wait… does this mean The Pope still doesn’t know that MacGyver is back?

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