Welp, it finally happened. Something I never thought I’d see in my lifetime has finally been done. A 16-seed has defeated a 1-seed in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. The Retrievers from University of Maryland, Baltimore County did the unthinkable and defeated the Virginia Cavilers 74-54, despite their superior color scheme. Tied 21-21 at the half, I didn’t have my hopes up, but at least I knew the second half would at least begin with some intrigue. But UMBC would just not go away, stretching their lead throughout the entire second half. Of all the potential 1-seeds to get beat, I didn’t think it would be Virginia because of their smothering defense. Something I assumed would be too much for the UMBC Air Buds to handle. Buddy, was I wrong. If you played this game with plain uniforms, you would’ve thought UMBC was the team with supposedly the best defense in the country. Not to mention, they were raining threes all day like Ol’ Mac in his heyday.
Every time I would think “well shit, here it comes. Virginia is about to come back and blow them out of the water”, it wouldn’t happen. We’ve all had our hopes up before just to be crushed when Kansas comes back and wins by 347 despite trailing by 6 with 14:28 left in the first half. Not tonight. Holy shit, not tonight. I’m so pumped I’m even considering taking some online classes at UMBC just so I can justify buying a sweatshirt to wear around with pride. Would that be weird? Who cares, I have $800 to blow just so I don’t get called a bandwagon fan when I strut my shit through Kroger in a Retreivers hoodie with the creases still in the shoulders from when it got shipped.
This wasn’t even a “wow, UMBC squeaked by them.” They beat them by 20 fucking points. Let me taste those tears Virginia fans…. oh so sweet. The only thing sweeter than the Virginia fans’ tears is the idiot fans from Creighton and Kansas State that left early thinking it wouldn’t be a contest. Losers.
So many buttholes in Virginia were puckered for the last 2+ hours, and I loved every second of it. I hated hearing how amazing Virginia’s defense was for weeks on end because I truly believe when push comes to shove, Cincinnati’s defensive corps are superior. Not only does this keep us Bearcats fans with an inferiority complex happy, it also makes UC’s path to the Final Four easier if they can advance beyond the second weekend, which is something we’re not used to seeing as Bearcats fans.
Not only did UMBC have an incredible night on the court, their Twitter account was firing off flame emojis almost as hot as their team’s shooting.
Congrats UMBC. Not only did you make history, but you earned another fan in me. That is, until you match up with Cincinnati in the Elite Eight.