The 2018 Cincinnati Reds Can Legally Drink, Finally


No more sneaking around campus with water bottles filled with vodka. No more mixing Gatorade and gin and acting like you’re just trying to replenish your electrolytes at 11pm on a Friday night while walking around in an American Eagle button-up that you think will get you laid. Hell, they don’t even need to cough when cracking their beers open in the communal dorm showers. Actually, that one never goes away. I still cough when opening beers at home in the shower and I’m 11 birthdays past my 21st.

After Friday’s 7-2 victory over the San Diego Padres, the Reds have reached 21 wins, and it only took them 58 games! I don’t have Elias Sports Bureau open right now, but that’s gotta be a record setting pace. It took the Phoenix Suns until their 82nd game to hit the 21-win mark this season, so it sounds like the Reds are doing something right. In fact, the Reds have accomplished something no NFL team, not even the Patriots, have ever done. Until an NFL team can win 21 games in a season, I’m going to take this as a huge victory for the Reds. I don’t know why this isn’t being talked about more on SportsCenter. Maybe the Reds needed JR Smith to intentionally walk the game winning run in the 9th inning because he thought they were up a few runs to get some press. I don’t know, I’m not their programming director.

I hope your 21st is special for many reasons, Redlegs. Crack open a few cold ones you bought legally for the first time, scarf down some street meat at 3am to hold you over until you get home to the food you ordered and enjoy yourselves. I just hope you’re not hungover for three days like I was after mine.

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