Hero Psychic Cat Predicts World Cup Winner

Let me first state, for the record, that this is not a soccer blog. We don’t allow such things on this site. It’s bad enough someone had the audacity to write a LeBron blog earlier in the week, so I’ll be damned if it was followed up by a soccer blog of all things. I just want to give credit where credit is due. I’ve always been more of a dog guy, but this cat is a freaking hero. Regardless of your stance on how miserable of a sport soccer is to watch, everyone seems to get sucked into the World Cup every four years. Me? I might catch a game on at the bar/restaurant or if someone has a hot wife they keep showing in the stands, my TV may find the match. But other than that, you can keep your 1-0 final scores and South American/European flop-fests. We get enough of that in the NBA playoffs, so why would I continue the torture for another month after Golden State’s annual parade? 

Thankfully a cat already predicted the World Cup winner, so we can just cancel the whole tournament and give the trophy or whatever they get to the Russian team. Just for the hell of it, let’s credit Putin for 17 goals in the gold medal match even though it’s not his birthday. They’re just lucky a team of college kids from America weren’t available to ruin the USSR’s fun this time around (because our team of adults couldn’t even qualify).

Wow, what an athlete. Politics aside, that’s one Russian I’d throw on my first line any day of the week. Forget Artemi “Breadman” Panarin. Gimme Ol’ Vladdy Baby all day erryday.

I didn’t watch the cat video because I have a strict no-soccer-rule on my laptop, so I don’t know the heroic feline’s name. I do, however, know that the World Cup is in Russia this year, which makes me wonder what type of shenanigans were taking place during this whole photo-op charade. Follow the trail of Fancy Feast, as I always say, and I bet we’ll unlock a scandal that will even make FIFA crap their pants in fear of the Russian Machine.

I’m not here to blog about soccer though, so I won’t get into it.

 

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