LeBron’s Decision Cave is Fancier Than Mine and That Makes Me Feel Like a Failure. LeBron-1 Mac-0

As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, the guy who didn’t want to make a big deal about his free agency has declared that he’s entering his “Decision Cave” to help him decide which fanbase he’ll make the most insufferable next season.*

Not only is it the biggest douche move to call something your Decision Cave, but it makes it 10x worse when you find out the “cave” is a luxurious mansion in the Caribbean. I just hope Jim Gray didn’t get a free trip outta this whole charade.

I mean, look at this place. I stole the photos but I don’t give a damn. We don’t have a Caribbean photographer in our budget, so you gotta do what you gotta do. (I’ll link the Tweet you babies)

If I was LeBron and went to this place to make a decision, I don’t think I’d ever come back. No city in America touches this place. I’m sure there’s some Caribbean basketball league he can play in down there. Why not? At this point, it’s unlikely he’ll catch Jordan’s 6 titles and he has enough money to never play another minute in the NBA again. I would even start to like LeBron if he made this move. I’d have to respect it so much that I’d end up loving the guy. Can you imagine him dunking on a bunch of former Big Sky players down there, with their weird shaped international rules lane and advertisements all over the tropical colored jerseys? I’m getting excited just thinking about it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to my Decision Cave to decide which drive thru I’m hitting up for a pre-dinner meal.

(The Decision Cave is my car)

*If he goes to the Lakers, I want to get out in front of my comment by stating that I love DB and he is a non-douche Laker fan. He’s the wind beneath my wings and if you talk shit to him about his new Super Lakers, I will end you tweet something negative about you.

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