Johnny Manziel Better Learn French, Vite

ProFootballTalk.comThe Hamilton Tiger-Cats have agreed to trade Manziel to the Montreal Alouettes, according to Duane Ford of TSN.

Alouettes head coach Mike Sherman knows Manziel well, having coached him at Texas A&M. Manziel’s redshirt freshman season in 2011 was Sherman’s final season coaching the Aggies.

The Alouettes have already tried three quarterbacks (Drew Willy, Jeff Mathews and Matt Shiltz) and have the worst offense in the Canadian Football League. If Manziel can’t beat those guys out, that’s a very bad sign.

It’s hard to believe the Alouettes would trade for Manziel if they aren’t going to play him, so it appears that Manziel may soon, finally, get on the field in Canada.

Live from Hamilton, Ontario:

Hey Johnny, wanna go to Montreal?

i-dont-know-lloyd-the-french-are-assholes

The good news for Johnny Manziel and his #ComebackSZN is it sounds like he’ll finally get a chance to play. As a Hamilton Tiger-Cat he was stuck behind former Oregon Mississippi great Jeremiah Masoli. I mean, the guy was the friggin’ MVP of the 2008 Holiday Bowl. How many guys can say that? You just can’t compete with that type of talent when you’re a lowly Heisman Trophy winner.

All joking aside, I never quite understood why Manziel wasn’t playing. He’s a really talented athlete and it was hard to believe that he couldn’t unseat just about any QB in the CFL. Granted, I’m not a Canadian Football League buff, but the Cleveland Browns are about as close to a CFL team as you can get in the NFL and he started for them. If my math is correct, that would mean he could probably start north of the border.

In hockey circles, its a well known fact that they prefer their head coach to be fluent in French because of the gigantic egos that go along with being French-Canadian media responsibilities, and I’m kinda surprised they don’t expect the same from their quarterbacks. Maybe part of the deal is Johnny has already completed level 3 of 5 on Rosetta Stone and he’s learned enough to say “we just have to take it one game at a time” or “coach put us in the right position to make the plays and win the game, we just fell a little short” or “no, that wasn’t me in Vegas wearing a wig and fake mustache while I was supposed to be with the team” in French.  That’s between him and God (who isn’t French, by the way) and maybe his coach (translation: entraîneur).

I’m man enough to admit that I was not a fan of College Johnny or Cleveland Johnny. Part of that was the way he carried himself, which is now contributed to his battles with alcohol and a bipolar disorder and the other part of it was because he was a Brown and even though they don’t need the help, I always root for their failure. Domestic abuse aside, which should never be forgiven regardless of the circumstances, he’s owned up to his other mistakes and I’ve changed my tune on the fella. I’ll leave the domestic violence talk for Whitty to address on tomorrow’s soccer blog. Chances are Money Manziel was already a somewhat cocky kid and the alcohol and mood disorders just amplified things, but I’d say about 83% of kids in his situation would be some version of Johnny Football. I know I was feeling my shit as I lit up the Ohio University flag football league, and the OU boosters barely paid me shit to be the QB of whatever our team was called. When you’re talking Texas A&M booster money, I can see where the egos can be born.

I’ve never watched football in French, but I guess I’m going to have to find an illegal stream of TSN or wait for ESPN to cover a CFL game on a Friday night when I’m bored, tired, and slightly drunk. #ReviensSZN seems like a pretty solid Friday night if Johnny is on the field. Best of luck to the reinvented Johnny Manziel in Montreal. I truly hope this is a step in his successful return to the NFL if nothing else to stick it to Cleveland fans, proving it was likely them, not him. I’m talking about ugly Break-Ups. Shout out Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt Vince Vaughn.

Fun fact: Chip Cox, former Ohio University great is a longtime Montreal Alouette. Stick that in your back pocket for some bar trivia with the pals.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s