Women’s Ruby Player Zonaye Tupuola Makes Me Wish We Had a Women’s Football League

Last week while flipping around on the ol’ tube, I came across the Women’s Baseball World Cup. It’s well documented that I’m a women’s softball fiend, but I had no idea Women’s Baseball was a thing outside of the wartime league that inspired the cinema classic, A League of Their Own. And I’ll tell you what… I was locked in. It was kinda weird because all of the pitch speeds were being clocked in kmph and not mph like my chunky American ass would prefer. I looked up the conversion rate, did some quick math and was impressed by the speed of some of these ladies’ fastballs. We’re talking mid-70s, which I don’t think most grown men could do if they haven’t played baseball in a few years. I know my shoulder is already hurting just thinking about trying to get on the mound and clock a 75mph heater. In typical US fashion on the world stage, the Americans came away without a medal, losing in the bronze medal game to our friends up north. Damn Canadians. I thought we had an agreement to let them have hockey, and give us baseball. That’s why we got Joey Votto in return for Phil Kessel. Although I guess we got Phil Kessel back so maybe that’s where the wires got crossed.

Anyway, I was scrolling through Twitter this morning and saw something that made me realize we needed a women’s football league more than I ever knew. 

Holy cow. Are you telling me you wouldn’t watch this young lady run over defenders on the way to the promise land? The end zone, not heaven. I don’t want anyone to die, that’s not my style.

Everyone talks about how we need an alternate football league to fill the void of the NFL and college football during the off-season but everyone always tosses out examples of the XFL, a minor league NFL system, or some other variation of the same guys that have been cut by seven NFL teams before their 30th birthday. I think we have our answer right here. We need a women’s football league.

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I’m aware of the Legends Football League, formerly the Lingerie Football League, but that’s just not gonna cut it in this instance. Will I watch that if I come across it on a random night, you bet your sweet ass I will. The Denver Dream vs. Los Angeles Temptation is always welcome in the Mac Household. But I want a legit, women’s football league. Full pads. Smash mouth football. Everything we get out of the men’s leagues but just with a squad full of ladies. It might be tough at first because it’s hard to just throw a bunch of people into a sport that have never really played the game before, so we’re gonna have to go at it with baby steps, but I think within 5 years you’d have some pretty competitive football. I already know who I’m putting my money on to win the first few seasons’ rushing title.. Zonaye Tupuola.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m taking my daughter to the sporting goods store to get fitted for shoulder pads and a helmet.

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