Joey Votto Continues to Be the Gift We Don’t Deserve

Every day I wake up and think I can’t love Joey Votto more than the day before, then he goes and does something like this.

As the great Tom Green said in Stealing Harvard: I wanna be Kyle. I knew this guy at camp. He was maybe 13. He got two girls pregnant, man. Two girls pregnant. Yea, Kyle. 

Seriously, what did we ever do to deserve Joey Votto? As a Cincinnati resident and lifelong Reds fan it’s not always rainbows and butterflies in our sports world, but sometimes Joey Votto makes it all worth it. Everyone always clamors for Joey and wishes he could play in a bigger market to get the attention he deserves, but there’s a few major problems with those proclamations. First, the MLB is TERRIBLE at promoting their own players. Mike Trout is in one of the biggest markets in the country and casual fans east of Arizona couldn’t pick him out of a lineup. Secondly, Joey wouldn’t be like this in a big market. He loves the intimacy of Cincinnati and only having to deal with 5-10 reporters a day at his locker rather than the dozens he’d see if he were in New York. Not saying there’s anything wrong with either situation, but that’s how Joey is. It took him long enough to come out of his shell in Cincinnati. Can you imagine how long he’d be guarded if he felt like every time he took a shit he was being scrutinized? Matt Harvey might have a thing or two to say about that…

Today’s interaction with Kyle in Pittsburgh brought a lot of smiles and laughs to the great fans of Cincinnati in an otherwise miserable part of the season. Sure, they just took a series against St. Louis but we’re looking at another last place finish and continue to spin the wheels on the rebuild.

Also, props to Kyle for just ripping off the shirt knowing it would be a heavily publicized transaction. I’m not the kinda guy that wears a t-shirt at the beach, but you could put a lot of money on the table and I’d probably pass on taking my shirt off at a baseball game. Then again, with a Joey Votto jersey on the line, it might be worth it.

Now that I think about it, I’d probably give Joey my pants if he asked.

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