Browns Finally Win, but The Opening of the Bud Light Fridges in Cleveland Was a Major Letdown

I don’t know about you, but when I heard there was a bunch of free beer to be had when the Browns finally earned their first victory in over 600 days, I expected anarchy the moment the clock struck 0:00. I was looking forward to it because I love watching videos on Twitter of fans destroying their own cities after a big win. Usually it’s for a championship, but a victory over the Jets on a Thursday night is about as close to a Super Bowl as the Browns will get for the foreseeable future.

Browns fans drink in sorrow, they drink in victory every few years, and they have no problem getting rowdy in honor of their beloved football team. That’s why I’m a little disappointed in how civil the opening of the beer fridges were. Check it out for yourself. 

I wanted to see a bunch of drunk fans in Manziel and Joe Thomas jerseys destroying fridges and ripping each other’s faces off for a free Bud Light. Is that too much to ask for? I was really looking forward to the drunken purge in northeast Ohio. Instead (I’m assuming) the decision makers and lawyers at Anheuser-Busch made people wait in line, accept their one beer and kept them moving. It’s a downright shame and makes me regret rooting for them to finish off the Jets in the closing moments despite my proclamations all week that they’d lose.

There should be nothing civil about cashing in on a bunch of free beer ripe for the picking. You suffered long enough, Cleveland. We wanted chaos. You gave us nothing of the sort.

Be better next time.. like in 2020 when you win again.

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