BREAKING: Man (Possibly Horatio Sanz) Chooses Dog Treats Over Thanksgiving Feast

I’m not even sure where to start on this one. There are so many things I hate about this video. First of all, why do you air a dog show leading up to a day full of football? Even if I was in the mood for a dog show, I’m going to absolutely despise it because of the simple fact that it’s not football. If I’m waiting on football, nothing else on the TV will get a fair shake. Right or wrong, that’s how it is and I’ll never apologize for that. Now it’s starting to make sense on why I hate parades. There’s a time and place for dog shows and parades. The prelude to a football marathon with breaks for booze, food and pies ain’t it, chief.

As a fat guy, I feel like I can say this, but this guy can stand to lose a few ell-bees. There’s no shame in that and we all have to start somewhere but I’m prettttty sure it’s not with kibbles and bits. Maybe mix in a salad and you won’t feel the need to steal Pumpkin’s (this dog just looks like it’d be named Pumpkin) treat for letting the creepy judge look at her teeth. After passing inspection, Pumpkin deserved that damn treat, but Horatio Sanz took it for himself. Fucking diva.

Now to the real point of this blog. As soon as I saw this video on Twitter all I could think about was how it looked like Horatio Sanz doing a bad SNL skit. I didn’t feel right just blurting it out on Twitter where 300ish people would see it. I felt this was better fit for the blog where 8-12 people would read it. I have no idea what Horatio is up to these days, but I’m pretty sure he’s above eating dog treats just to please some crusty old AKC judges and piss off Pumpkin.

While we’re all thinking about Horatio Sanz, let’s take a moment to appreciate his fine work in Step Brothers as the front man for a strictly 80’s Joel cover band.

 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope your feast was better than generic Horatio Sanz’s.

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