I Will Not Dip My Hamburger in Ketchup Like Andy Warhol

Let’s face it, the Super Bowl commercials sucked for about the 15th year in a row. I remember a stretch of a few years where the commercial breaks were filled with laughter and badass scenes that were shot well enough to be in a movie. Now we get a bunch of stupid shit with brands trying to be too safe or a million “Coming to CBS” promos. The Burger King Andy Warhol commercial made me angrier than seeing the Patriots win their 48th straight Super Bowl.

There’s a lot to unpack here. This is a man that looks like he’s eating fast food for the first time. I say that because he ordered a hamburger. Yes, without cheese. Because that would be a cheeseburger. That’s strike one. The only way I’d ever do something like that is if I develop an intolerance to lactose, and even then I’d probably just play through the pain or not order a burger. It’s well documented how I feel about cheese-less burgers and more importantly, restaurants that make staple menu items cheese-free. The second and third strike is what he does with the ketchup.

Image result for strike three michael scott gif

At first I thought maybe those dicks at Burger King just didn’t put enough ketchup on his burger so he felt the need to add more. Well, what he did next was downright disgusting and something I’ve only seen one other person on this earth do (yes, it was Jefe). He put a huge glob of ketchup next to his burger, and proceeded to dip it.

Image result for disgusting gif

I never met Andy Warhol, but this commercial has confirmed that we wouldn’t have gotten along. That’s too bad too, because I’ve always thought I’d look good painted a la Marilyn Monroe.

Image result for andy warhol

There really wasn’t much point to this blog other than to squash any potential future rumors being started about me that I’m a cheese-less burger dipper. There aren’t many things in this world I’d hate to be called more than that.


When the commercial first started, I thought it was a promo for a show/documentary about the Heaven’s Gate Cult or something because he kinda looks like the leader.

Image result for heavens gate cult leader

I don’t know much about art, clearly.

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