Somebody Compiled All of Tom Haverford’s Business Ideas From Parks and Recreation, and Folks… Someone Better Call Shark Tank

They were spread out across seven seasons so it was hard to keep track of them all, but Tom Haverford had some pretty impressive business ideas. In fact, there are three to four ideas that I probably would’ve lost a ton of money investing in. Maybe that’s why I haven’t been offered a chair on Shark Tank yet.

Lucky for us, someone stayed up way too late one night and spliced them all together in a four minute video for our viewing pleasure.

A few of my favorites:

Talking Tissues“Blow that nose, playa”. Who doesn’t need a pep talk when battling a nasty cold? 

Disco DairyNothing says you’re a baller quite like butter that sparkles, even if the glitter could kill you.

Contact lenses that display text messages This would 100% keep me from walking into walls and people whenever I get caught up in a group text. 

Lasik for fingernailsI hate hate hate cutting my fingernails and my wife always loses my good pair I ponied up some extra cash for on Amazon (not to brag). Cutting my nails once with lasers and never having to worry about them again would be the best thing that could ever happen to me and our marriage. 

Rent-a-SwagThis one actually happened in the show and companies are even doing this now. Tom was maybe a little ahead of his time on this business model. Plus, all of his clients were pre-pubescent boys because of his tiny man bod. 

Snake JuiceThe drink sounds disgusting but it led to one of the best scenes in the entire show’s history, so it gets a bump on that alone. 

I hope everyone finds a little Tom Haverford in themselves. If we can’t dream of million dollar ideas to cut up the monotony of our daily lives, then what’s the point? Everyone’s homework assignment this weekend is to come up with five Tom Haverford ideas of their own. Who knows, even if you don’t find your million dollar idea, maybe you can write a book about all of your failures and get rich by doing that (spoiler alert).

If you need me, I’ll be at your mother’s butt, and Donna’s drivin’.

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