They say time heals all wounds, but I’m not sure that’s really the case when it comes to sports, and especially when we’re talking about a franchise being ripped out from under you. I’m blessed enough to not be a Cleveland fan, so I don’t know what it’s like to have a team relocated when years of sucking and lack of fan interest causes greedy ownership to move to Maryland for the crab cakes. I’m pretty sure Art Modell wouldn’t have moved the team to Baltimore if The Wire came out about a decade earlier. We might’ve been seeing a Kansas City Raven get investigated for murder if Omar Little was around in 1995 when Big Art was trying to decide which city to move to. Instead, the statue of an (alleged) murderer is in Maryland instead of Missouri.
Back to hockey. Tonight the Carolina Hurricanes are wearing their Hartford Whaler throwbacks. I have always been a huge fan of these uniforms because of the green/blue color combo and the creative logo that triples as an ‘H’ for Hartford, ‘W’ for Whalers and the whale tail for thong lovers who also happen to be hockey fans.
I seriously doubt any Whaler fans made the jump to the Hurricanes when they relocated to Raleigh, NC in 1997. They likely just started cheering for a random team since their hate for Boston and the New York teams wouldn’t allow them to root for the next closest franchise. That might not hold true for their kids who are probably all Rangers or Bruins fans now, which sucks to think about. Poor little lads never stood a chance.
It’s been 22 years since the move but you know there are still pissed off hockey fans in Hartford who feel like they were screwed out of their franchise despite literally everything working against them. They were sandwiched in the middle of a bunch of big markets in the northeast and had a tiny arena in comparison to the rest of the NHL.
Seeing the city that stole your franchise trot out your uniforms in their “new” home has to fucking suck. I’m trying to think of a good relationship analogy but I can’t really think of one painful enough. I’ll give it a shot anyway. Let’s say you have a go-to pair of sweatpants and long sleeve t-shirt that you wear from the minute you get home from work on Friday until you have to take a shower Monday morning before heading back to the cubicles. The sweatpants and long sleeve t-shirt make you look like an absolute stud despite being draped over a relatively doughy and unattractive body. You always get compliments on how great you and your clothes look and it makes you feel like a king from 5pm Friday until 6am Monday. Now let’s say your girlfriend meets some guy named Karl who has better hair, lives in a better part of town and doesn’t have to shave his shoulders if he thinks he might hop the pool at the barbecue. For the past 22 years you haven’t been able to find your favorite sweatpants and long sleeve t-shirt when you get home from work on Friday. Man, that fucking sucks. Oh well, I guess you’ll just go to the store in this random hoodie and shorts.
What in the actual fuck?! Guess who you just saw at the store in your sweatpants and long sleeve t-shirt? It’s fucking Karl. Man, what a dick. But it’s hard to blame him. He probably just thought that bitch of your ex-girlfriend thought he’d appreciate a nice, used weekend outfit to strut his stuff in. He doesn’t need the killer sweatpants and long sleeve t-shirt. People would love him no matter what he’s wearing because he’s new, hip and much much better looking. It’s not really Karl’s fault but you you still want to punch him in his beautiful face and rip out his perfect hair.
For not knowing which way to go with that, that was a masterpiece. Kudos to me.
That’s probably how the Whaler fans that are still alive feel when they see the Hurricanes skating in their infamous threads. Better grab a few bottles of booze on the way home from the grocery store.. fucking Karl.Follow @BennyMacBlog