What Do You Do When the Team Can’t Buy a Hit? Light the Bats on Fire

If this doesn’t work, then there’s really no hope for the Reds. Pedro Cerrano famously ate a bucket of chicken before the biggest game of his life. Some guys rub a lucky rabbit’s foot. Some guys pray. Some guys change up their routine or double down on their superstitions. Nobody really knows what works.. but Tucker.. Tucker might be on to something.

What do you do when the team is hitting .164 through the first six games of the season? Light a fucking bat on fire. If that doesn’t get the baseball gods fired up and the troops to rally, then I don’t have faith in anything I thought I knew.

One thing I do know is that if the Reds put up an 8 spot tonight, someone is gonna sell a shit ton of t-shirts with a burning baseball bat on them. If it doesn’t work, then I think the next logical step is to see if Cleveland will let us get Jobu out of storage. I’m willing to try anything at this point. Anything short of pulling a Stannis Baratheon, that is.

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