If you haven’t heard (which just means you haven’t been online and are very unlikely to be reading this blog to begin with), Ricky Gervais absolutely killed it at the Golden Globes last night. He was hosting for the fifth and final time (his words), so his DGAF attitude was turned up to about 143%. For example:
Anyway, seeing him roast the Hollywood elite reminded me of how great it was when his character from the original British version of The Office (David Brent), met the U.S. version (Michael Scott). I never watched the original Office series outside of the very first episode, which was practically recreated scene for scene in as the pilot of the U.S. version. It had its moments, but British humor, I’m sorry, humour has never really been my thing. I like Ricky Gervais in just about anything he does or when he hosts things like The Golden Globes, and I watched the shit outta Mr. Bean when I was younger (shoutout the wicked 1-2 punch that was Mr. Bean and The Red Green Show back in the day). But other than those two very specific examples, just not my bag, baby.
So here ya go.. what you clicked the blog for. Enjoy Michael Scott and David Brent meeting for the first time on The Office.
I’m not really big on New Year’s Resolutions. That’s mostly because I’ve always failed at them when I’ve tried. Don’t even get me started on Lenten promises. I think I’ve succeeded once in my 33 years at that as well, which was when I gave up pop (that’s soda, if you’re a savage) during my junior year of college. But with New Year’s Resolutions, they’re always the same.
I want to lose 30lbs.
I’m not gonna eat fast food anymore.
I’m going to quit drinking during the workday.
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt. Continue reading
Despite their best effort, the Bengals locked up the #1 pick yesterday with an overtime loss after a historical comeback for the ages. A loss like yesterday would’ve been heartbreaking if it weren’t for what was actually at stake. Continue reading
Earlier today my internet buddy Clem from Barstool Sports posted a blog titled A Couple That Chugs Beers From 2 Girls’ Asses Together, Stays Together. [Click link for semi-NSFW video of two lovebirds chugging beers from bikini-clad asses on a balcony]
Ok, maybe not a beard.. just stubble. Continue reading
…from the National Association of Basketball Coaches Board. Sorry, I don’t know why that part of the title got cut off. But while you’re here, why don’t you
listen to read my bitching about the NCAA.
There aren’t too many better television characters from our generation than Dennis Reynolds on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I feel like just about anyone who watches the show can see a little bit of themselves in Dennis no matter how dark his sociopathic behavior is. I’m not saying we’re all sociopaths (we are), but Dennis is the perfect blend of common man and too-crazy-to-be-real that we all love to watch.
His commute back and forth to work after moving to the suburbs for an episode proved that no matter how bitchin’ your 1993 Range Rover is, you’re just as susceptible of crossing paths with fat cows and stupid bitches like the rest of us.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go explain to my co-workers why I’m covered in blood. (It’s because I had to slit the guy’s throat who causes all the traffic. Dennis’ words, not mine).
Here’s some soothing Brian Adams to help bring your blood pressure down. It didn’t seem to help Dennis but maybe it’ll work for you.