A few months ago Patrick Mahomes put himself on the FBI’s Most Wanted List by letting the world know that he loves ketchup so much that he ruins perfectly good foods like mac & cheese and steak with it. I’m not gonna completely shun Mr. Mahomes since he’s been such a fantasy football darling for geniuses who drafted him this season, but putting ketchup on these items is enough to warrant a full background investigation. Is his name even Patrick? I don’t know, but the man can put up fantasy numbers.
The fact that Hunt’s came after Mahomes and not Heinz is genius for all parties involved. Can you imagine if Steeler fans learned how to read and saw the news that their beloved Heinz was endorsing the quarterback who is going to knock them out of the playoffs this year? The rage rolling throughout the hills of Western PA would be furious enough to blow the french fries off of everyone’s sandwiches. What a scene.
I’m happy to see Patrick Mahomes taking advantage of the fame and getting every dollar he can. Is it weird? Maybe a little, but athletes endorse weird shit all the time. If it weren’t for weird endorsements from athletes, Dan Marino would’ve never been kidnapped during an Isotoner Gloves commercial and we wouldn’t have have the cinematic gem, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.
Everybody knows that bloggers/podcasters are the same as athletes. The amount of preparation and toll our bodies take are unmatched in comparison to other careers. You think I enjoy my wrists hurting and knees cracking every time I try to move? You think my back would hurt this bad if I had a job as a surgeon? Not likely. I decided to take a break from icing my knees and removed my carpal tunnel wrist guards to work on a few endorsement deals of my own.
“What condiment would everyone from the now-defunct podcast The Nati Boys be endorsed by?” is a question you probably found yourself asking the moment you saw the Patrick Mahomes news. Lucky for you, I’m here to tell you. Continue reading →
I hate to ruin the holiday season before we’re a full 10 days into December, but I had to do it.
I don’t even know where to start with this one. Here I was, just enjoying a nice, relaxing Sunday evening. I watched Bad Moms for the first time so I wouldn’t feel lost when I tried to watch A Bad Moms Christmas before Jesus’ big day. I packed my lunch for the next three days and did the exact amount of laundry to get me through one workday. I didn’t think there was anything that could ruin my wonderful Sunday routine until I hopped on the Ol’ Twitter Machine to see what type of offerings they had for me before I fired up a Netflix marathon that would undoubtedly lead to me running around my house like a god damn McCallister after the power reset their alarm clocks tomorrow morning.
Today was just like any other Sunday. I had some chili brewing in the slow-cooker while I was waiting on the early NFL games to start and I was already trying to decide which wall to punch a hole through if the Bengals decided to break my heart. The topic of Patrick Mahomes’ voice came up in the Mac Household so I did a Google search to see what gems were out there on the internet with voice-mashups and funny antidotes about the breakout QB’s extremely unique voice.
Pretty normal, tame stuff. No harm, no foul. Then I came across this head-scratcher: Continue reading →
Of all the news that came out recently that made me question our future as a human race, this has to be the worst thing I’ve seen. Who drinks wine so slow that they need something like this? Not to mention, these mother fuckers are trying to take money out of the pockets of the people that make wine stoppers for wedding guest gifts. Continue reading →
Gentlemen mark your calendars for August 27th, heaven is officially coming to Columbus Ohio. The fine people at BrewDog Brewing company will officially open DogHouse USA and it will be the first ever craft beer-themed hotel in the world. The Scottish brewing company has used crowdfunding to create a craft beer enthusiasts dream. They will offer a variety of beer-themed amenities for you to enjoy as you will see in the video below. I know they had my money as soon as I heard shower beer fridge; that’s right folks ice cold shower beers! This may be the new happiest place on earth, sorry Walt.
This week straws are under attack. I don’t even remember what was under attack last week, which says a lot about where we’re at in 2018. To be honest, StrawGate isn’t going to change my life much because I’m about as anti-straw as one can be. Continue reading →
Folks, Cincinnati’s long nightmare is over. No, the Bengals didn’t win a playoff game. It’s bigger than that. Frisch’s has finally realized their huge mistake and brought back Coca-Cola to your favorite diner. I cannot tell you how many times I was left lost and disappointed in the Frisch’s drive-thru when I tried to order a Coke with cherry and they responded with “we only have Pepsi”. Actually, it was probably only twice. Truth be told, I don’t go to Frisch’s that often. Mostly because they always ask me to pull around to wait on my order like a Big Boy with fries is a cryptic order that is gonna take them 48 hours to assess and deliver. I hate pulling around, so naturally I hate Frisch’s drive-thru. Basic math. Continue reading →