Luis Castillo Named Opening Day Starter for 2019 Championship Run

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A lot of people thought it might be Sonny Gray because of the trade the Reds made to bring him to Cincinnati and giving him a new contract before he even pitched an inning in a Cincinnati Reds uniform. Not so fast my friends. The Reds have named Luis Castillo the 2019 Opening Day starter. Continue reading

Tyler Eifert Decides He Wants to Win a Super Bowl in Cincinnati

This is very good news, people. Earlier in the week the Bengals announced they signed C.J. Uzomah to a three-year deal and a lot of folks on the ‘ol Twitter machine thought this might mean Eifert was going to part with Cincinnati. Well, WRONG.

Before the former Fighting Irish star got started on his St. Paddy’s day celebrations, the Pro Bowler’s one-year deal to return to Cincinnati was announced. Continue reading

It’s 3:16, So Let’s Celebrate With Some Stone Cold Videos

Happy 3/16 everyone! Pi Day is for nerds. I sat back and watched everyone talk about Pi/Pie for an entire day knowing that 3:16 was only 48 hours away. Have yourselves one hell of a 3:16 Day everyone. It is the perfect warm up for St. Paddy’s Day. If you need a little motivation to live your best Stone Cold life, I’ve got you covered. OH HELL YEAH Continue reading

For Some Inexplicable Reason, the Bengals Signed Bobby Hart to a $21M Deal

If you were expecting the Bengals to make a big free agency splash today, well you got what you wanted. It just probably wasn’t the splash you were hoping for.

In the words of the great Bob Uecker: “Obviously Taylor’s thinkingā€¦ I don’t know what the hell he’s thinking…..”  Continue reading

Are The Hurricanes Giving the City of Hartford the Middle Finger With the Whaler Throwbacks?

They say time heals all wounds, but I’m not sure that’s really the case when it comes to sports, and especially when we’re talking about a franchise being ripped out from under you. I’m blessed enough to not be a Cleveland fan, so I don’t know what it’s like to have a team relocated when years of sucking and lack of fan interest causes greedy ownership to move to Maryland for the crab cakes. I’m pretty sure Art Modell wouldn’t have moved the team to Baltimore if The Wire came out about a decade earlier. We might’ve been seeing a Kansas City Raven get investigated for murder if Omar Little was around in 1995 when Big Art was trying to decide which city to move to. Instead, the statue of an (alleged) murderer is in Maryland instead of Missouri. Continue reading

Should The Sandlot’s TV Reboot Excite or Depress Me?

When I saw this, I felt a million different emotions. Excited, confused, depressed.. you name it. Would they all be reuniting and playing in a men’s beer league softball game? Would they just be reliving the glory days and telling stories to their kids like Grown Ups? Don’t even try to tell me Grown Ups isn’t a cinematic classic. It might not work well in this case but it’s fucking brilliant when Adam Sandler, Kevin James, David Spade and Chris Rock are at the helm. Ever heard of them? Oh yeah, and the “YOU CAN DO IT!!!” guy from Waterboy is in it too. Yes, I know his name is Rob Schneider but it’s funnier to just call him the YOU CAN DO IT! guy because it was such a throwaway part that has pretty much become his most quoted line of his career. Well, except for this one.

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It looks like we’re going to be getting a hybrid of my initial thoughts/fears. Continue reading