Prepare for Tonight’s Halftime Show With Shakira Music Videos

I honestly can’t remember the last time I was this excited for a Super Bowl Big Game halftime show. Sure, J-Lo is fine but Shakira is top five for your boy. Was it because she burst on to the American scene during my formidable years of horniness? Its possible. Actually, it’s not just possible. It’s probably an iron clad fact.

Anyway, now that I’ve weirded everyone out, enjoy some Shakira music videos in preparation for tonight. You’re welcome.

 

Don’t worry. I’ll still be watching the Puppy Bowl. I have two TVs, I’m not poor.

Per Reports, our Cincinnati Reds Have Signed Castellanos to a Multi-Year Deal

I’ll have more on this later today with what this means for the 2020 Reds (spoiler alert: contention) and the current roster and what we can expect heading into Spring Training. But I don’t feel like I need to explain that this is a big fucking deal. This is the second Scott Boras client the Reds have wooed into coming to Cincinnati (the other being second baseman Mike Moustakas) this offseason and firmly places them as a legit NL Central contender and possibly more.

Unbelievable. Go Reds.

The New Reds Spring Training/Batting Practice Hat is Here, and I Hate It

Image result for i just want it to stop gif

Why do they have to do this shit? Why does everything have to look so goddamn stupid all the time when they introduce special editions of hats? Whatever happened to keeping it simple? Sure, throw a secondary logo on the Spring Training hats for a cash grab. They’ve been successful in doing that in previous years.

Cincinnati Reds Spring Training 59fifty Fitted | Cincinnati Reds Baseball Caps | New Era Cap

Image result for cincinnati reds spring training hat

Is that ideal? No. Ideal would be wearing an all-red with a wishbone C and no black drop shadow for every game from the day pitchers and catchers report in February until the World Series parade, but there’s zero chance in hell New Era or the MLB would allow that when they can charge people $40 to wear whatever monstrosity they create year after year.

This year’s version just looks like something you’d get at a flea market in a poor bootleg attempt at a cool hat.

Image

You can hardly even tell its Mr. Redlegs sliced and diced and squeezed into the iconic wishbone C. Maybe it’s the lighting, but that doesn’t even look like the correct shade of red. But I’m not gonna get all Darren Rovell on you and start talking pantones because I don’t feel like getting stuffed into a locker today. Hell, I don’t even think Pete Rose would wear this thing

Pete Rose jacket

At least from far away and on TV it might look close to what they should be wearing.

Image result for barry larkin 1990

Oh well. I’m way too angry about this on a Thursday night, so I’m gonna just let it go and feel sorry for the poor saps that get sucked into buying one of these for $40 off the clearance rack after the season is over. I’m looking at you, Jefe.

Enjoy your day, morning or evening… whenever you’re reading this. I’ve got coneys to eat.

PS – It looks like this hat was spotted at Koch Sporting Goods on 4th Street in Cincinnati. If you’re ever in the area, I highly recommend stopping by. They have so much great gear from every Cincinnati team (current and former) as well as a lot of other great local flavor on top of a plethora of stuff for every team in any league you can imagine. They’re the place to go if you need any custom jerseys as well; they do incredible work. They could use some extra business lately too since some scumbag decided to rob them this week.

Hell isn’t hot enough for whoever did that.

Wake Up With Michael Scott Meeting David Brent

If you haven’t heard (which just means you haven’t been online and are very unlikely to be reading this blog to begin with), Ricky Gervais absolutely killed it at the Golden Globes last night. He was hosting for the fifth and final time (his words), so his DGAF attitude was turned up to about 143%.  For example: 

Anyway, seeing him roast the Hollywood elite reminded me of how great it was when his character from the original British version of The Office (David Brent), met the U.S. version (Michael Scott). I never watched the original Office series outside of the very first episode, which was practically recreated scene for scene in as the pilot of the U.S. version. It had its moments, but British humor, I’m sorry, humour has never really been my thing. I like Ricky Gervais in just about anything he does or when he hosts things like The Golden Globes, and I watched the shit outta Mr. Bean when I was younger (shoutout the wicked 1-2 punch that was Mr. Bean and The Red Green Show back in the day). But other than those two very specific examples, just not my bag, baby.

Image result for not my bag baby gif"

So here ya go.. what you clicked the blog for. Enjoy Michael Scott and David Brent meeting for the first time on The Office.

 

2020: The Return of The Mac

I’m not really big on New Year’s Resolutions. That’s mostly because I’ve always failed at them when I’ve tried. Don’t even get me started on Lenten promises. I think I’ve succeeded once in my 33 years at that as well, which was when I gave up pop (that’s soda, if you’re a savage) during my junior year of college. But with New Year’s Resolutions, they’re always the same.

I want to lose 30lbs.

I’m not gonna eat fast food anymore.

I’m going to quit drinking during the workday.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt. Continue reading

Did a Viral Video of People Chugging Beer in an *ahem* “Interesting” Way Make Me Listen to ‘I Love College’ a Dozen Times? Some Are Saying Yes

Earlier today my internet buddy Clem from Barstool Sports posted a blog titled A Couple That Chugs Beers From 2 Girls’ Asses Together, Stays Together. [Click link for semi-NSFW video of two lovebirds chugging beers from bikini-clad asses on a balcony]

Continue reading