Tim Tebow, (presumably) Fed up With Playing in AAA, Decided to Kick His Coach in the Nuts

Wow, what a malicious attack. Don’t let this violence distract you from the fact that Tebow is hitting .156 in AAA Syracuse right now. With numbers like that, I can’t believe he made foot-to-nut contact. Continue reading

While The Blue Jackets’ First Round Victory Meant My Life Was Worth Living, It Almost Ruined Relationships in Tampa Bay

The Columbus Blue Jackets sweeping the Tampa Bay Lightning in the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs meant a lot of different things to a lot of different people. For people like me, it finally gave me the feeling of joy that has alluded me during my entire hockey fandom. Growing up in an area without an NHL franchise meant I didn’t really pay much attention to the NHL and thought the Cincinnati Cyclones were the bees knees during my entire childhood. Fast-forward to life as a young adult, recently graduated from college with a disposable income and I’m suddenly spending thousands of dollars on Blue Jackets season ticket packages and apparel during my illustrious four year career as an accountant accounting assistant in a Columbus suburb.

Just because I came back to the motherland doesn’t mean my Columbus fandom died during the 2 hour drive on I-71 South. I live and die with the Blue Jackets’ success. Not quite as bad as I let the Reds ruin my summers, but let’s just say I’m not usually in a good place come April in regards to hockey. Usually it’s just dropping f-bombs every other word (in the angry way, not the way I talk pretty much every day anyway), throwing a remote as hard as humanly possible into the couch after I get up, or swearing off sports and the Columbus Blue Jackets forever.

Anytime my wife thinks I’m overreacting when I tell the cats or dog to get the fuck out of the way as I storm walk to the bathroom to cry, I just need to show her this. Continue reading

Inspired by Tiger Woods Winning The Masters, the Pittsburgh Penguins Have Decided They’d Rather Golf Than Play Hockey

Oh no! Why do bad things happen to good people? Man, imagine the year Pittsburgh fans have had. Their franchise wide receiver forced himself out of the city via trade, their star running back would rather sit out the season and take a pay cut to play for the New York Jets than put on the black and yellow, Big Ben may or may not be a racist and now this. Continue reading

Yasiel Puig Has No Time for LA’s Bullshit

The Cincinnati Reds are playing in Los Angeles, which marks the homecoming for former Dodgers that came to Cincinnati via trade in the offseason. If you were expecting a Kumbaya moment for Puig and the Dodgers, well.. you didn’t get it.

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Nick Foligno Might Kill Steven Stamkos

Earlier tonight the Jackets took a 3-0 series lead on the mighty Tampa Bay Lightning. Yawn. Just another day at the playoff office. I say this knowing the Lightning will somehow take this to a Game 7 and I’m gonna regret every letter of that.

Image result for ready to get hurt again gif

With the Lightning watching their once promising season crumble as the final seconds ran off the clock, they once again resorted to cheap shots and trying to bait the Jackets into something that will turn the momentum of the series.  Continue reading

Did We Just Witness the Biggest Win in Columbus Blue Jackets History?

I’m not gonna lie, I was downright miserable for the first 20 minutes of tonight’s Blue Jackets game. I was texting hateful things to my fellow CBJers and was trying to decide if I should throw a chair through my 100″ screen or rip my 32″ that is mounted below it clean off the wall and break it over my knee. Yeah, I have a pretty sweet set up but that’s not what we’re here to talk about. I didn’t feel like having shoulder surgery after I threw the chair, and the smaller TV is in a stud (not me, that would be painful) so I’m not sure I would’ve been successful in either attempt. Continue reading