I’ve Never Been Self Conscious About My Voice Until Today

Today was just like any other Sunday. I had some chili brewing in the slow-cooker while I was waiting on the early NFL games to start and I was already trying to decide which wall to punch a hole through if the Bengals decided to break my heart. The topic of Patrick Mahomes’ voice came up in the Mac Household so I did a Google search to see what gems were out there on the internet with voice-mashups and funny antidotes about the breakout QB’s extremely unique voice.

Pretty normal, tame stuff. No harm, no foul. Then I came across this head-scratcher:  Continue reading

Panarin’s OT Winner Reminds Us How Much We’ll Miss Our Bread Man Next Season

Last night’s season opener for the Columbus Blue Jackets was a fight and shootout short of having everything fans go to games for. We had great goalie play accompanied by bone crushing hits from the muscle line of Josh Anderson, Brandon Dubinsky and Boooooooooooooooooone Jenner. We had speed out of the fourth line of Anthony Duclair, Riley Nash and Sonny Milano that showed the speed and skill of some organization’s first line. All around, it was great to get out of Detroit with two points to start the season with a backup goalie at the helm.

Maybe if there was a fight and shootout guaranteed, the fine people of Detroit would’ve actually come to the game. How do you call yourself Hockeytown and then have a sea of empty seats on Opening Night? Just doesn’t add up.

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Tennessee State’s Christion Abercombie Is Fighting for His Life After Saturday’s Emergency Brain Surgery, but the NCAA Is Worried About Their Precious Rules

Now that you’re here, I have something to say:

Fuck. The. NCAA.

If you haven’t heard, there was a very scary situation Saturday in Nashville during the Tennessee State-Vanderbilt game. Christion Abercrombie, a linebacker for Tennessee State suffered a life-threatening injury that required emergency surgery after collapsing and becoming unresponsive on the sideline. This wasn’t a case of a guy leading with his helmet or someone taking a cheap shot that resulted in a serious situation. In fact, that doesn’t even matter in any situation as serious as this. Human beings play the game of football, and regardless of the jersey they wear or how they hurt themselves, you never want to see someone’s life end prematurely because of the game they play. Now, with that said, I always thought it would’ve been kinda cool for Jefe to pull a Tim Krumrie in some Thursday night MACtion. Can you imagine the party we could’ve had at our house when he returned from the hospital with bolts in his leg? We would’ve played the injury on loop throughout the house on every TV so we knew why we were drinking and who we were drinking for. Jefe Palooza 2.0. I’ll tell ya about 1.0 someday.. when you’re ready.  Continue reading

HOT TAKE ALERT: Sometimes Watching Losing Reds Baseball on TV is Better Than Competitive Baseball

Ok, hear me out. Yes, I would much rather the Reds be winning and in the conversation for all of the National League playoff spots that are up for grabs heading into the final weekend of the season. But the fact of the matter is that we haven’t had a single glimmer of hope that they’d be competing for the postseason since ehhh, let’s say early April. Some might argue sooner, but I’m an optimist.

When winning baseball is on TV, the broadcast is largely about the product on the field and focusing on every excruciating pitch as your team’s season hangs in the balance. When you’re the Reds, the folks in the booth have to find better, more interesting things to talk about as the Reds struggle to score runs throughout the month of September.  Continue reading

Brie Bella Accidentally Knocked Out Liv Morgan on Monday Night Raw, Reminding Us That Even Fake Fighting Can Hurt Like Hell

Yeah yeah yeah, we all know. Wrestling is fake. I don’t watch it thinking I’m actually getting a combat sport that isn’t staged or has a predetermined outcome. It’s a television sitcom that combines sometimes decent story lines and some of the most athletically gifted human beings on the planet.

Every now and then we’re reminded that things can go wrong in the ring if someone is rusty or an opponent isn’t expecting certain moves. Tonight, Liv Morgan appeared to be knocked out cold by Brie Bella’s “Yes Kicks”. We might not know the real story anytime soon, but it looks like Brie Bella unintentionally caught Liv with a kick to the face, which stunned her, leaving her unprepared for the next kick to knock her out cold.

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I hope Liv is ok, and by all accounts it sounds like she’s fine and is being evaluated backstage. She ended up finishing the match after all. Must’ve been a hockey player in a former life.

Now back to football.

After Hearing Kawhi Leonard’s Laugh, I Will Never Sleep Again

Is this a man that is laughing for the first time in his 27-years of life? Absolutely 100% most definitively yes. I’m not talking a chuckle or smile on the court. I’m sure that’s happened at some point. Then again, the man has been in San Antonio for the past 7 seasons, so maybe not. Not that the Spurs haven’t been successful when he was there, but I’ve never met someone who was ever happy in that kinda heat. Diff’rent strokes I suppose, and I ain’t talkin’ Gary Coleman. I have to think that humidity is Alan Thicke, which doesn’t lend itself to many smiles no matter how bad ass your cornrows are.

Now that I’ve maxed out on references to a 1980s sitcom that I’ve never seen in my life and ended just days after the day I was born, we can move on.  Continue reading

Finally a Win For All of Us Tall People. Congress is Considering FAA Requirements For More Leg Room

USA Today – Congress is considering ordering the FAA to establish minimum airline seat sizes, investigate the size and number of airplane lavatories, and establish new standards for allowing service animals to fly with their human owners.

Democratic Sen. Bill Nelson of Florida said lawmakers from both chambers agreed it was time to take action on “ever-shrinking seats.”

“Relief could soon be on the way for weary airline passengers facing smaller and smaller seats,” Nelson said.

The room between rows – measured from a point on one seat to the same point on the seat in the next row – has been shrinking for many years as airlines squeeze more seats onto their planes. It was once commonly 34 or 35 inches, and is now less than 30 inches on some planes. FAA officials say existing safety rules mean seats are unlikely to ever get smaller than 27 inches.

It doesn’t matter which side of the aisle you’re on politically, this is #GoodNews. There’s nothing worse than being height-shamed on a plane just because God granted you with 6ft and 2.75in of raw height (that can’t be taught). Over the years I’ve gotten considerably wider, but I’ve been dealing with the burden of being taller than the average human all my life. It doesn’t get the attention it deserves but every day I thank my lucky stars God didn’t go overboard and make me 6’8″. Sure, it would’ve been awesome to be that tall when you were playing sports, but can you imagine having to live a life like that in a world built for the average male height (which is 5’10” in the US, btw)? Watch the Andre The Giant documentary. Fucking miserable. No thank you. Continue reading