Mr. Feeny Is Too Busy Fighting Burglars to Die

Talk about a classic “crap your pants while you’re driving home from the zoo” moment when I came across this headline at a red light (no texting/tweeting while driving in my reasonably priced luxury sedan). Mr. Feeny dying would be the saddest non-family member bad news I think I could receive. I’m not even willing to put any of my friends ahead of Mr. Feeny, because unlike my friends, Mr. Feeny was always there for me from 2-3pm on ABC Family. I don’t wanna point any fingers or call anyone out but sometimes Whitty won’t respond to my texts for up to 2 minutes after I send them. Again, not to call anyone out but did Mr. Feeny ever show up 2 minutes late during the weekdays? That’s what I thought.   Continue reading

Media Day Proves MACtion is Ready to Hijack College Football

Holy shit. Someone build me a brick wall, allow the mortar to cure, and let me run through that son of a bitch in 24 to 48 hours.

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Johnny Manziel Better Learn French, Vite

ProFootballTalk.comThe Hamilton Tiger-Cats have agreed to trade Manziel to the Montreal Alouettes, according to Duane Ford of TSN.

Alouettes head coach Mike Sherman knows Manziel well, having coached him at Texas A&M. Manziel’s redshirt freshman season in 2011 was Sherman’s final season coaching the Aggies.

The Alouettes have already tried three quarterbacks (Drew Willy, Jeff Mathews and Matt Shiltz) and have the worst offense in the Canadian Football League. If Manziel can’t beat those guys out, that’s a very bad sign.

It’s hard to believe the Alouettes would trade for Manziel if they aren’t going to play him, so it appears that Manziel may soon, finally, get on the field in Canada.

Live from Hamilton, Ontario:

Hey Johnny, wanna go to Montreal?

i-dont-know-lloyd-the-french-are-assholes

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My Local Taco Bell Could Stand to Learn a Thing or Two From This Place

 

Ever get tired of having to wait 10 minutes for your $15 worth of Taco Bell on a Tuesday night? Yeah, me too.

This McDonald’s in whatever city they’re in has their shit together. Not only do they get him his order in record time, they don’t even make him stop or tap the brakes. I’ll take a longer route home from work if I know I won’t have to stop or wait at any lights, so this is the perfect scenario for me. If McDonald’s can do it, why can’t Taco Bell? It’s not like McDonald’s has the Harvard (on the Hocking) of fast food training programs.

Maybe someday my local Taco Bell will be able accommodate my request, but until then, I’d settle for just shaving a few minutes off my wait time. I’ll give Taco Bell credit though, I’d like to think they’re smart enough to not throw the drinks into the car. Then again, probably not. I better buy some waterproof seat covers.

OU’s Playoff Hopes are Still Alive…but Barely

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While many people may have left them for dead, there’s still an outside chance that OU can squeak into the College Football Playoff this year. And just to clarify, we’re talking about the real OU, not those idiots out in Norman that don’t understand how abbreviations work. Sure, the Bobcats chances took a big hit Tuesday night with an unexpected loss at the hands of Akron, but all hope is not lost in Athens, OH. After crunching some numbers, running millions of simulations (manually, by hand, because Milliron Sports didn’t have much room in the technology budget this year) and studying dozens of résumés from playoff hopefuls, it appears that Ohio still has an outside chance. Admittedly, it’s a pretty big long-shot, but it’s not impossible. Hear me out… Continue reading

Best College GameDay Sign – Louisville, Kentucky, 09/16/17

Louisville knew they had their work cut out for them after Columbus’ strong showing last week as Ohio State took on The University of Oklahoma (aka UO). Did they answer the call? Hit “Read More” to find out! (That’s an industry secret to get more clicks and action on your webpage)  Continue reading