Wake Up With All 10 of the 50-point Dunks in Last Night’s Slam Dunk Contest

Truth be told, I didn’t watch this year’s slam dunk contest. I know about next to nothing in regards to the NBA outside of 99% of the time Cincinnati Bearcats jump from team to team on 10-day contracts, making it nearly impossible to track their professional careers anymore. And for some reason, there never seem to be any Ohio Bobcats to keep an eye on….. not sure why on that one though.

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I do know one thing though, and that’s the fact that many people were irate about the judging and scoring of the dunk contest. Someone got screwed and Dwyane Wade made a funny face that will surely be a go-to GIF for years to come.

Sick turtleneck.

If you’re reading this and you were mad about the results, then I agree with you. If you think the judges got it right, then I agree with you as well. Whatever will keep everyone back to the site is my personal stance on DunkGate 2020. I can’t afford to lose one of my three readers, so I’m taking a huge gamble on this one and refuse to choose a side.

What’s hard to believe is there were ten (fucking ten!) dunks that the judges deemed worthy of a perfect 50.

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I’m not saying the dunks weren’t good. Hell, they were great. But you know what they say about dunk contests. If you have ten 50’s, you don’t have one. Or something like that. I couldn’t pull any of these dunks off on an 8-foot hoop.. in a video game.. with cheat codes, so who am I to say what is and isn’t worthy of a perfect score?

I think we can all agree that there were some great dunks even if they weren’t from any Bearcats or Bobcats… but who knows, maybe in a few years…

I just hope D-Wade isn’t wearing a stupid ass turtleneck and his wood shop teacher’s glasses when that day comes.

Suck it Vegas. 12-point underdog Ohio Bobcats Win Outright 65-52 in Season Opener vs. A10 Powerhouse St. Bonaventure

What a way to open the Jeff Boals Era for the Ohio Bobcats. And who knew he had these dance moves? Not this guy. This is a welcomed surprise. Continue reading

Vanderbilt’s Head Coach Derek Mason Just Cut the Best Wrestling Promo of the Year

Little known fact, but Derek Mason was the wide receivers coach at Ohio, so I’m already gonna credit about 95% of his swag to his time in Athens. Who cares about his time as an assistant coach in the NFL or 4 years on the Stanford sideline? This type of energy and passion is fueled by one thing, and that’s Black Widows at the Pigskin.

You can take the man out of Ohio, but you can’t take the Ohio out of the man.

Seriously though, I love when players get amped up in post game interviews after a big upset. So to see a head coach in the SEC cut a promo better than anything the WWE has written in 5 years after Vandy upset Missouri is welcomed by me.

Here’s to hoping Vanderbilt keeps pulling off upsets throughout the season so we can get more Derek Mason on our TVs.

Mr. Feeny Is Too Busy Fighting Burglars to Die

Talk about a classic “crap your pants while you’re driving home from the zoo” moment when I came across this headline at a red light (no texting/tweeting while driving in my reasonably priced luxury sedan). Mr. Feeny dying would be the saddest non-family member bad news I think I could receive. I’m not even willing to put any of my friends ahead of Mr. Feeny, because unlike my friends, Mr. Feeny was always there for me from 2-3pm on ABC Family. I don’t wanna point any fingers or call anyone out but sometimes Whitty won’t respond to my texts for up to 2 minutes after I send them. Again, not to call anyone out but did Mr. Feeny ever show up 2 minutes late during the weekdays? That’s what I thought.   Continue reading

Media Day Proves MACtion is Ready to Hijack College Football

Holy shit. Someone build me a brick wall, allow the mortar to cure, and let me run through that son of a bitch in 24 to 48 hours.

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Johnny Manziel Better Learn French, Vite

ProFootballTalk.comThe Hamilton Tiger-Cats have agreed to trade Manziel to the Montreal Alouettes, according to Duane Ford of TSN.

Alouettes head coach Mike Sherman knows Manziel well, having coached him at Texas A&M. Manziel’s redshirt freshman season in 2011 was Sherman’s final season coaching the Aggies.

The Alouettes have already tried three quarterbacks (Drew Willy, Jeff Mathews and Matt Shiltz) and have the worst offense in the Canadian Football League. If Manziel can’t beat those guys out, that’s a very bad sign.

It’s hard to believe the Alouettes would trade for Manziel if they aren’t going to play him, so it appears that Manziel may soon, finally, get on the field in Canada.

Live from Hamilton, Ontario:

Hey Johnny, wanna go to Montreal?

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My Local Taco Bell Could Stand to Learn a Thing or Two From This Place

 

Ever get tired of having to wait 10 minutes for your $15 worth of Taco Bell on a Tuesday night? Yeah, me too.

This McDonald’s in whatever city they’re in has their shit together. Not only do they get him his order in record time, they don’t even make him stop or tap the brakes. I’ll take a longer route home from work if I know I won’t have to stop or wait at any lights, so this is the perfect scenario for me. If McDonald’s can do it, why can’t Taco Bell? It’s not like McDonald’s has the Harvard (on the Hocking) of fast food training programs.

Maybe someday my local Taco Bell will be able accommodate my request, but until then, I’d settle for just shaving a few minutes off my wait time. I’ll give Taco Bell credit though, I’d like to think they’re smart enough to not throw the drinks into the car. Then again, probably not. I better buy some waterproof seat covers.

OU’s Playoff Hopes are Still Alive…but Barely

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While many people may have left them for dead, there’s still an outside chance that OU can squeak into the College Football Playoff this year. And just to clarify, we’re talking about the real OU, not those idiots out in Norman that don’t understand how abbreviations work. Sure, the Bobcats chances took a big hit Tuesday night with an unexpected loss at the hands of Akron, but all hope is not lost in Athens, OH. After crunching some numbers, running millions of simulations (manually, by hand, because Milliron Sports didn’t have much room in the technology budget this year) and studying dozens of résumés from playoff hopefuls, it appears that Ohio still has an outside chance. Admittedly, it’s a pretty big long-shot, but it’s not impossible. Hear me out… Continue reading

Best College GameDay Sign – Louisville, Kentucky, 09/16/17

Louisville knew they had their work cut out for them after Columbus’ strong showing last week as Ohio State took on The University of Oklahoma (aka UO). Did they answer the call? Hit “Read More” to find out! (That’s an industry secret to get more clicks and action on your webpage)  Continue reading