Wake Up With Whitty – 10/14/2017

Good morning and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty.  It’s finally every Bengals fan’s favorite time of year: the week that the Bengals place Tyler Eifert on season ending injured reserve.  It only took a little over 4 weeks this year, almost a record time.  Fun fact, I bought an Eifert jersey prior to the 2014 season.  He didn’t even make it through the first game that year. Since I purchased the jersey he’ll have played in 24 out of a possible 64 games for the Bengals (including the remainder of the 2017 season).  Many people are saying he’s fallen victim to the infamous Whitty Jersey Curse.  Did I contribute to his inability to stay healthy by purchasing his jersey? (Maybe.). Is it just a coincidence? (Probably.)  Should I grow up and be an adult and stop wearing sports jerseys in general? (Never.)  There’s a pretty good chance that we’ve seen him play his last game as a Bengal.  As an Eifert fan, that’s tough to swallow, but it’s hard to justify keeping a guy around when he’s on the field for less than half of the team’s games.  So instead, fans have to come to terms and do the only thing that’s reasonable: focus on other peoples’ problems to distract us from our own.  Here’s Wake Up With Whitty. Continue reading

Wake Up With Whitty – 10/7/2017

Hello and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. It’s October and the NHL season is finally here. The Blue Jackets looked sharp in their season-opening 5-0 victory over the Islanders.  As an unbiased observer (fan) I honestly cannot envision a scenario where the Jackets don’t go 82-0 (Editor’s Note: 81-1-0) and then sweep their way to a Stanley Cup championship. I know it was only one game, but I’ve seen enough to say that I can’t see anyone beating this team (Editor’s Note: Again.).  It was also great seeing the Penguins on the wrong side of a 10-1 ass kicking.  I don’t usually care for the Blackhawks, but anyone that embarrasses the Pens like that is okay in my book.  Let’s just hope they got it all out of their systems for tonight.
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Cup Check: Are Baseballs Ruining America’s Pastime?

As summer gives way to fall the MLB postseason is finally upon us. It was a long and grueling regular season filled with errant helmet throws, pointless rules debates, and, worst of all, the Mets. One hot button issue that has taken over the world of contact sports of late has been concussions and the risks they pose for future health concerns. While head trauma is certainly a very real and very scary threat, we witnessed another very scary moment on Tuesday night during the Yankees/Twins Wild Card matchup (at least most guys would consider it scary). I’m hear to bring your attention to another player safety issue that doesn’t get nearly as much press coverage as it deserves: dudes getting hit in the junk. Continue reading

Dick of the Week presented by Milliron Sports

I know the week isn’t quite over yet, but I’m ready to call the fight in the race of this week’s Dick of the Week. It was shaping up to be a pretty tight race. There was a marathon runner in Slovakia. There was that asshole that cut me off on my way home from work yesterday (I know you fucking saw me when you merged into my lane, jerk!). There was a certain Yankee’s catcher whose package was getting quite a bit of attention last night. And of course there was perennial DotW contender, Jefe. Then along comes Cam Newton and makes my decision much, much easier. It’s only Hump Day but Cam Newton has the Milliron Sports Dick of the Week locked up.

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Breaking Down the O.J. Simpson Prison Release Photo

OJ prison release

NY Daily News – The Juice is out and doesn’t plan on going back.

O.J. Simpson left a Nevada prison a free man early Sunday, just minutes after he became eligible for release on parole.

Without fanfare, the 70-year-old signed his release papers and walked out to a waiting driver in a dark parking lot outside the Lovelock Correctional Center, around midnight local time, according to the state’s Department of Corrections officials.

Listen, we all knew O.J. was being released from prison soon, but did it sneak up on anyone else? Ironically, sneaking up on people in the middle of the night is O.J.’s M.O… and that’s exactly where I found myself this morning when this beautiful picture appeared all over the internet. I could sit here with my hot takes and jokes about “The Juice being loose”, which would just trigger my co-blogger DB. Instead, I’ve decided to break down this photo so it gets the credit it deserves.  Continue reading

Best College GameDay Sign – Virginia Tech | Blacksburg, VA, 09/30/17

This week the College GameDay crew stormed onto Virginia Tech’s campus in Blacksburg, Virginia. With GameDay back on a college campus where it belongs, I expected a better turnout than last week’s NYC showing. The nerds at Virginia Tech did not disappoint.

As expected, Dabo Swinney took another beating. This week made more sense since Virginia Tech is playing Clemson, but there’s no doubt that Dabo is the inspiration for a large percentage of all GameDay signs this year. I’m not a fan of how easy GameDay-goers are letting Nick Saban off these days, but maybe we’ll see Saban signs pick up once they get into the meat of the SEC schedule and he does something to be a dickhead.

On to this week’s awards…  Continue reading

Wake Up With Whitty – 9/30/2017

Good morning and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. A lot is going on in the sports world right now. The college basketball world has been rocked by scandal, which hits particularly hard if you happen to be a Louisville fan. We’re just a day away from October, which is a huge month for sports. College football teams start to get into the bulk of their conference schedules, MLB playoffs get underway, and the NHL and NBA seasons start up (Wake me up when September ends, am I right?). So go ahead and settle in with your caffeinated beverage of choice. Maybe it’s coffee. Maybe it’s tea. Maybe it’s an energy drink. Maybe it’s something really cool that I don’t even know about. I’m accepting of all ways of life here, unlike one of my coffee-drinking elitist fellow bloggers. Unless you’re one of those people that just wake up naturally energized and don’t need caffeine to get through life. That’s weird. Get out of here with that shit.

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Rick Pitino Makes Premature Exit from Louisville

Earlier today the University of Louisville, aka University-6, fired their clean-cut head coach Rick Pitino (as first reported by the Nati Boys Podcast on tomorrow’s episode, subscribe rate and review). It’s hard to see someone like Pitino go down like this, ruining his reputation of always running a squeaky clean program wherever he went. If you can see past the sex scandals, stripper incidents, and improper benefits for players, Pitino was exactly who I’d want to pass off my future 6’9” power forward son to. You couldn’t really ask for a better role model to take the reigns of your son’s development into a man.   Continue reading

Best College GameDay Sign – Times Square, New York City, 09/23/17

I was skeptical when I heard College GameDay was going to be at Times Square in New York City. I wasn’t sure if there were enough die-hard, drunk college kids to produce a plethora of funny signs to pick from this week. Annnnd, I was right. Sure, every major college program has a bar dedicated to their school on game days. ESPN wasn’t going to let us forget about that. The problem is, these people are adults with jobs and lives, not college kids with nothing other than a case of beer, a sharpie, and countless hours thinking of funny signs.

Despite the lack of material, I pulled through, and I think I found some signs worth of being featured in this week’s GameDay Sign breakdown.   Continue reading

Wake Up With Whitty – 9/23/2017

I just want to take a minute to wish my good friend Marvin Lewis a happy birthday. The Bengals head coach celebrated earlier this week by firing long-time assistant, and most recent Bengals’ offensive coordinator, Ken Zampese. He followed it up by letting the team know that Zampese didn’t get himself fired, the team did, and if they don’t turn things around soon then they may be next. While I admire the motivational tactic, I think Marvin may be the next one on the chopping block if the Bengals fortunes don’t change soon. It seems like at least one NFL expert agrees with me. A few more ugly losses and Marvin may not make it past the bye week. So, like I said, Happy Birthday Marvin! And now that we’ve gotten things off to such a positive note, welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty…

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