Wake Up With All 10 of the 50-point Dunks in Last Night’s Slam Dunk Contest

Truth be told, I didn’t watch this year’s slam dunk contest. I know about next to nothing in regards to the NBA outside of 99% of the time Cincinnati Bearcats jump from team to team on 10-day contracts, making it nearly impossible to track their professional careers anymore. And for some reason, there never seem to be any Ohio Bobcats to keep an eye on….. not sure why on that one though.

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I do know one thing though, and that’s the fact that many people were irate about the judging and scoring of the dunk contest. Someone got screwed and Dwyane Wade made a funny face that will surely be a go-to GIF for years to come.

Sick turtleneck.

If you’re reading this and you were mad about the results, then I agree with you. If you think the judges got it right, then I agree with you as well. Whatever will keep everyone back to the site is my personal stance on DunkGate 2020. I can’t afford to lose one of my three readers, so I’m taking a huge gamble on this one and refuse to choose a side.

What’s hard to believe is there were ten (fucking ten!) dunks that the judges deemed worthy of a perfect 50.

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I’m not saying the dunks weren’t good. Hell, they were great. But you know what they say about dunk contests. If you have ten 50’s, you don’t have one. Or something like that. I couldn’t pull any of these dunks off on an 8-foot hoop.. in a video game.. with cheat codes, so who am I to say what is and isn’t worthy of a perfect score?

I think we can all agree that there were some great dunks even if they weren’t from any Bearcats or Bobcats… but who knows, maybe in a few years…

I just hope D-Wade isn’t wearing a stupid ass turtleneck and his wood shop teacher’s glasses when that day comes.

Prepare for Tonight’s Halftime Show With Shakira Music Videos

I honestly can’t remember the last time I was this excited for a Super Bowl Big Game halftime show. Sure, J-Lo is fine but Shakira is top five for your boy. Was it because she burst on to the American scene during my formidable years of horniness? Its possible. Actually, it’s not just possible. It’s probably an iron clad fact.

Anyway, now that I’ve weirded everyone out, enjoy some Shakira music videos in preparation for tonight. You’re welcome.

 

Don’t worry. I’ll still be watching the Puppy Bowl. I have two TVs, I’m not poor.

Per Reports, our Cincinnati Reds Have Signed Castellanos to a Multi-Year Deal

I’ll have more on this later today with what this means for the 2020 Reds (spoiler alert: contention) and the current roster and what we can expect heading into Spring Training. But I don’t feel like I need to explain that this is a big fucking deal. This is the second Scott Boras client the Reds have wooed into coming to Cincinnati (the other being second baseman Mike Moustakas) this offseason and firmly places them as a legit NL Central contender and possibly more.

Unbelievable. Go Reds.

The New Reds Spring Training/Batting Practice Hat is Here, and I Hate It

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Why do they have to do this shit? Why does everything have to look so goddamn stupid all the time when they introduce special editions of hats? Whatever happened to keeping it simple? Sure, throw a secondary logo on the Spring Training hats for a cash grab. They’ve been successful in doing that in previous years.

Cincinnati Reds Spring Training 59fifty Fitted | Cincinnati Reds Baseball Caps | New Era Cap

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Is that ideal? No. Ideal would be wearing an all-red with a wishbone C and no black drop shadow for every game from the day pitchers and catchers report in February until the World Series parade, but there’s zero chance in hell New Era or the MLB would allow that when they can charge people $40 to wear whatever monstrosity they create year after year.

This year’s version just looks like something you’d get at a flea market in a poor bootleg attempt at a cool hat.

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You can hardly even tell its Mr. Redlegs sliced and diced and squeezed into the iconic wishbone C. Maybe it’s the lighting, but that doesn’t even look like the correct shade of red. But I’m not gonna get all Darren Rovell on you and start talking pantones because I don’t feel like getting stuffed into a locker today. Hell, I don’t even think Pete Rose would wear this thing

Pete Rose jacket

At least from far away and on TV it might look close to what they should be wearing.

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Oh well. I’m way too angry about this on a Thursday night, so I’m gonna just let it go and feel sorry for the poor saps that get sucked into buying one of these for $40 off the clearance rack after the season is over. I’m looking at you, Jefe.

Enjoy your day, morning or evening… whenever you’re reading this. I’ve got coneys to eat.

PS – It looks like this hat was spotted at Koch Sporting Goods on 4th Street in Cincinnati. If you’re ever in the area, I highly recommend stopping by. They have so much great gear from every Cincinnati team (current and former) as well as a lot of other great local flavor on top of a plethora of stuff for every team in any league you can imagine. They’re the place to go if you need any custom jerseys as well; they do incredible work. They could use some extra business lately too since some scumbag decided to rob them this week.

Hell isn’t hot enough for whoever did that.

BREAKING: Tom Izzo Has Resigned

…from the National Association of Basketball Coaches Board. Sorry, I don’t know why that part of the title got cut off. But while you’re here, why don’t you listen to read my bitching about the NCAA.

Continue reading

The NCAA Can Fine Student-Athletes?

I haven’t really followed the whole James Wiseman Saga at Memphis for the past few weeks. I remember hearing word that the top NBA Draft prospect from Memphis was getting suspended and thought “huh, that sucks. At least Cincinnati can continue to be Penny Hardaway’s daddy now that he won’t be a factor.” Well… not so fast my friend. It turns out both match-ups with the Bearcats fall after the NCAA’s date of January 12th to clear Wiseman. Under one condition. Continue reading

Suck it Vegas. 12-point underdog Ohio Bobcats Win Outright 65-52 in Season Opener vs. A10 Powerhouse St. Bonaventure

What a way to open the Jeff Boals Era for the Ohio Bobcats. And who knew he had these dance moves? Not this guy. This is a welcomed surprise. Continue reading

Andy Dalton Benched. Ryan Finley Era in Cincinnati Begins

I say the “Ryan Finley Era” hoping its just the remainder of the 2019 season, meaning Joe Burrow is under center for the Bengals in 2020. Sure, if the offensive line is still a train wreck and we don’t want Burrow to end up with a van he has to drive with his teeth, let the Ryan Finley Era carry into 2020 as well. Continue reading