While The Blue Jackets’ First Round Victory Meant My Life Was Worth Living, It Almost Ruined Relationships in Tampa Bay

The Columbus Blue Jackets sweeping the Tampa Bay Lightning in the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs meant a lot of different things to a lot of different people. For people like me, it finally gave me the feeling of joy that has alluded me during my entire hockey fandom. Growing up in an area without an NHL franchise meant I didn’t really pay much attention to the NHL and thought the Cincinnati Cyclones were the bees knees during my entire childhood. Fast-forward to life as a young adult, recently graduated from college with a disposable income and I’m suddenly spending thousands of dollars on Blue Jackets season ticket packages and apparel during my illustrious four year career as an accountant accounting assistant in a Columbus suburb.

Just because I came back to the motherland doesn’t mean my Columbus fandom died during the 2 hour drive on I-71 South. I live and die with the Blue Jackets’ success. Not quite as bad as I let the Reds ruin my summers, but let’s just say I’m not usually in a good place come April in regards to hockey. Usually it’s just dropping f-bombs every other word (in the angry way, not the way I talk pretty much every day anyway), throwing a remote as hard as humanly possible into the couch after I get up, or swearing off sports and the Columbus Blue Jackets forever.

Anytime my wife thinks I’m overreacting when I tell the cats or dog to get the fuck out of the way as I storm walk to the bathroom to cry, I just need to show her this. Continue reading

Did We Just Witness the Biggest Win in Columbus Blue Jackets History?

I’m not gonna lie, I was downright miserable for the first 20 minutes of tonight’s Blue Jackets game. I was texting hateful things to my fellow CBJers and was trying to decide if I should throw a chair through my 100″ screen or rip my 32″ that is mounted below it clean off the wall and break it over my knee. Yeah, I have a pretty sweet set up but that’s not what we’re here to talk about. I didn’t feel like having shoulder surgery after I threw the chair, and the smaller TV is in a stud (not me, that would be painful) so I’m not sure I would’ve been successful in either attempt. Continue reading

Winning Games and Job Creation, That’s What Tortorella Does

Remember this? How could you not? Watching a coach try to fight the opposing coach in the hallway during an intermission is must see tv and thankfully the broadcast had cameras positioned and ready to catch something like this. Usually it’s just a boring shot of players walking back to the dressing room to enjoy a few minutes without their shoulder pads on, throw in a fat dip and retape their sticks. Not this time. No sirree.

Thanks to this altercation in 2014 there have been some new additions to the Vancouver Canucks’ hallways in Rogers Arena. Continue reading

Panarin Channels His Inner-Blogger, Unable to Play Because He Pooped His Pants

Twitter went into a frenzy when it was announced the hottest name on the trade block Artemi Panarin wouldn’t be playing tonight vs. Montreal. The initial reaction was that the Jackets must be close to a deal to move Panarin before Monday’s trade deadline, but apparently that’s not the case according to John Tortorella: Continue reading

Artemi Panarin Fired His Agent and That Sounds Like a Good Thing for the Blue Jackets, Right? Not so Fast My Friend.

If you’re a Blue Jackets fan or just a hockey fan in general, you’re well aware of the looming disaster for Columbus. Artemi Panarin (and his fellow countryman Sergei Bobrovsky) are both unrestricted free agents at the end of the 2019 season. None of the parties involved have been able to reach an agreement on an extension or new contract, to the point where Panarin and his agent cut off contract talks and informed the team that he will not consider his future until after the season.

This puts the Blue Jackets in a VERY difficult spot. They aren’t quite a cup contender as constructed, but they could get to that level with a deadline deal or two. All of that gets thrown into a blender if Panarin isn’t in the mix though. If the NHL has learned anything from last year’s Islanders-Tavares situation, its not worth letting some prima donna string you along all season and into free agency and then bail without the courtesy of letting you get anything in return. Although the Islanders are doing just fine, I’m sure they would have preferred to get a young player and a draft pick for Tavares at last year’s deadline. Now the Jackets are faced with the million dollar decision. Do they try to make a run at a cup by acquiring a few players this month, or do they see if they can get a quality return for a Panarin rental? There’s really no good answer and it’s a really shitty situation to be in.

Then today.. there was this… Continue reading

Cam Atkinson Took a Puck to the Face in Warmups, Misses Action in Blue Jackets’ Fourth Straight Loss

I really have nothing good to say about the Blue Jackets right now. What seemed like a promising season with a chance to actually make a run in the playoffs has quickly been derailed by a pair of Russians. After blowing a late lead tonight in Winnipeg, the Jackets have lost four straight and have missed some prime opportunities to separate themselves from the Washington Capitals during a seven game losing streak of their own. Columbus’ two-time Vezina Trophy winner has his head so far up his own ass worrying about his new contract that he can’t be bothered to stop a puck and one of the NHL’s most lethal offensive weapons can’t decide where he wants to play the rest of his career and is letting his agent play bullshit games with the CBJ’s front office.

Now the Jackets have lost four in a row, Tortorella refuses to play Anthony Duclair even with a short bench and the Jackets find themselves stuck in Stanley Cup Purgatory where they can’t decide if it’s best to “go for it” or get what we can for Artemi Panarin and Sergei Bobrovsky to avoid losing them without any return at the end of 2019.

Just when you think the Jackets couldn’t have any more bad luck, shit like this happens. Continue reading