We Get It, LeBron. You’re a Wine Guy (That Likes Wearing Weird Buttons/Pins)

This may upset our resident Lakers fan, DB.. but I wish LeBron would just fucking go away. Everything this guy does is for attention and to get people to talk about him. Yeah, it’s ironic that I say that and turn around and fall into his trap, but there are things that need to be said. Continue reading

Kenyon Martin Is Getting a Mural Presented to Him Tonight, and I Need a Copy of It

I’m not an art guy. Never have been and I won’t apologize for it. In fact, there’s only one piece of art I’ve ever tried to buy, but my wife nixed my plans. You see, at the time we lived in a one-bedroom apartment above a hair salon and sandwich shop in a neighborhood we were too poor to live in. The artwork would’ve overpowered our small dwelling. Now that we have a house with more than just a living room and bedroom, I’m thinking about making another play at this beautiful piece. Continue reading

Lil Penny is Making a Comeback

USA Today Sports – Wednesday on ESPN’s morning talk show¬†Get Up!¬†the Memphis basketball coach said his miniature alter ego, Lil¬†Penny, would be appearing again.¬†

“Lil¬†Penny is actually going to be coming back out soon,” Hardaway said on the show.¬†

Lil¬†Penny, of course, was the star of Hardaway’s iconic Nike commercials in the 1990s, narrated by actor Chris Rock.¬†

“Lil¬†Penny is getting in shape,” Hardaway added. “He’s coming back.”

I don’t watch any of ESPN’s trash so I didn’t catch this news, but luckily it came across my Twitter feed tonight as I re-watch Arrested Development for the 15th time through (only the OG episodes, I’m not into the reboot). Anyone that grew up in the heyday of the Orlando Magic with Penny Hardaway and Shaq remembers how awesome the Lil Penny marketing campaign was. We loved his commercials. We loved the shoes they were trying to sell. Hell, I even had this poster in my room. I’m pretty sure it’s rolled up and in a box somewhere at my parents’ house still.

penny who's got next poster Continue reading

Markelle Fultz Reminds Us How Hilarious the Yips Can Be

I don’t really have a lot to add to this other than the fact that I wanted all 17 of our readers to get their eyes on it. Markelle Fultz has a case of the yips that would make Rick Ankiel blush. I don’t even know how someone physically pulls this off without losing the ball or accidentally stepping over the free throw line. This is the type of juke-pump fake you give your friends in a game of 21 in the driveway to thwart their attempt to tip you in. Only this time it didn’t work and he missed. It’s just too bad nobody tipped him in and sent the Sixers back to zero (or 13, depending on your neighborhood’s rules).

Paging Commissioner Silver: Play the first half of the season with 21 rules. It’s not like anyone is trying anyway.

After Hearing Kawhi Leonard’s Laugh, I Will Never Sleep Again

Is this a man that is laughing for the first time in his 27-years of life? Absolutely 100% most definitively yes. I’m not talking a chuckle or smile on the court. I’m sure that’s happened at some point. Then again, the man has been in San Antonio for the past 7 seasons, so maybe not. Not that the Spurs haven’t been successful when he was there, but I’ve never met someone who was ever happy in that kinda heat. Diff’rent strokes I suppose, and I ain’t talkin’ Gary Coleman. I have to think that humidity is Alan Thicke, which doesn’t lend itself to many smiles no matter how bad ass your cornrows are.

Now that I’ve maxed out on references to a 1980s sitcom that I’ve never seen in my life and ended just days after the day I was born, we can move on.¬† Continue reading

Bearcats Are All Over the NBA Summer League

There are Cincinnati Bearcats all over the NBA Summer League this year in Vegas. With some of the talent that has made its way through the program the past few years, with 8 straight NCAA tournament appearances, it’s awesome that we’re finally starting to see some of Mick Cronin’s recruits have success after college. Jacob Evans III was the first round pick for the Golden State Warriors this past year, and has been playing a bunch of minutes for them in their first few games out west. As a Lakers fan, I was super jealous that he went to the GSW, instead of being nabbed by LA a few picks earlier.

Joining Evans this summer is Gary Clark with the Houston Rockets. I’m not sure if Gary is playing in the Summer League because I’ve seen him in street clothes on the bench. He signed a two-way deal with the Houston Rockets after going undrafted, but I think he can be good fit for them under the right circumstances. Clark’s frontcourt buddy Kyle Washington is also on a team this summer, playing for the Detroit Pistons. I’m not sure that Washington has the chops to make it in the NBA, but I think he definitely could make a nice living if he goes to Europe and plays professionally.

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The Lakers Land LeBron, America Loses

This isn’t even about basketball. We can hate LeBron regardless of the city he’s playing in. As a Cincinnati guy, it was just really convenient that he happened to play in a city I can’t stand. Whether it was anointing himself the King, playing with an almost-broken hand, flopping his way into an and-1, or hunkering down in a “Decision Cave” to decide where he’d play this season, I’ve always had plenty of reasons to not like the Kid From Akron (another nickname he gave himself).

Now that LeBron is in LA, there’s one thing that is certain. No, not a championship. The Warriors and the rest of the Western Conference are still stacked. This means more movie roles and most likely Space Jam 2, which should never be remade. You wouldn’t expect another NBA big man to remake Kazaam so why in the fuck are we gonna let LeBron ruin Space Jam’s legacy? It’s unacceptable and I won’t stand for it.

stephen a smith

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