Pants Pooping Paul Pierce is Winning Over Blogger Hearts One Poop Story at a Time

For years (11 to be exact), I’ve been calling Paul Pierce a bitch for needing to be carried off the floor, put in a wheel chair and rolled back to the locker room just to return and finish the game.

As a man who has played three (3) seasons of beer league hockey, I just couldn’t let this slide. There’s an honor and a code you play by when you’re at the highest level (or Thursday night beer league) and until today, America assumed Pierce broke that code. Continue reading

Today I Learned: Drake’s Real Name is Aubrey [BONUS: Unofficial Famous Aubrey Power Rankings]

I know it’s always a little jarring when you learn an actor or rapper’s real name, but I can’t remember the last time one hit me as hard as this. How is Drake’s real name Aubrey? I know you can’t blame people for what their parents named them, but goddamn. Aubrey? That’s the furthest thing from a Canadian TV actor turned rapper’s name I’ve ever heard. Aubrey as a guy is hard to picture because all I can see is Aubrey Plaza.

Sure, Aubrey Huff had a decent career for the Giants, but I’ve never seen Drake hit a fastball. I’m guessing he can’t. Aubrey Huff could. Point Mr. Huff. Continue reading

Drake Leads Toronto Raptors to Game 1 Victory in NBA Finals

What an incredible game by Drake. You can say all you want about Pascal Siakam’s 32 points in his NBA Final debut (14 of them in the third quarter) or how the Warriors still don’t have Kevin Durant back from injury. None of that matters because we all know the truth. This Raptors team doesn’t win tonight, or even get to the finals for that matter, without Drake leading the way. Continue reading

Did a Guy With Face Paint and a Man Bun Save the Lakers Franchise?

In case you haven’t heard, Lakers fans are fed up with the direction of their franchise and came out by the dozen to protest outside of Staples Center yesterday afternoon. They can’t seem to find a coach, LeBron has alienated every premiere player in the league so nobody wants to join him, and Magic Johnson quit without telling his bosses because he didn’t want to have an uncomfortable conversation. Honestly, I was expecting riots because the LA fan base is large and proud. Then again, #LATraffic, amirite? Continue reading

Nikola Jokic Had a Sweet Bounce Pass (Gary Harris Did Something Cool Too). Also, LeBron is Drunk

I don’t watch a lot of NBA, but people on Twitter are going nuts about this play so it must be pretty sweet. I mean, I think Jokic’s bounce pass was incredible, but its nothing I didn’t do 5-10 times a night for the Blue Bunnies in the OU intramural leagues. Continue reading

We Get It, LeBron. You’re a Wine Guy (That Likes Wearing Weird Buttons/Pins)

This may upset our resident Lakers fan, DB.. but I wish LeBron would just fucking go away. Everything this guy does is for attention and to get people to talk about him. Yeah, it’s ironic that I say that and turn around and fall into his trap, but there are things that need to be said. Continue reading

Kenyon Martin Is Getting a Mural Presented to Him Tonight, and I Need a Copy of It

I’m not an art guy. Never have been and I won’t apologize for it. In fact, there’s only one piece of art I’ve ever tried to buy, but my wife nixed my plans. You see, at the time we lived in a one-bedroom apartment above a hair salon and sandwich shop in a neighborhood we were too poor to live in. The artwork would’ve overpowered our small dwelling. Now that we have a house with more than just a living room and bedroom, I’m thinking about making another play at this beautiful piece. Continue reading