The Cleveland Browns Are the Betting Favorites for Just the Second Time in the Last 35 Games

The Cleveland Browns are bad. I don’t care what kinda of bump they got in the public’s eye after their mediocre season of Hard Knocks this preseason. Anybody who knows football knows that Cleveland doesn’t have what it takes to be a competitive football team. They don’t have the talent, they don’t have the coaching and they sure as hell don’t have a winning culture. They have coaches going at each other’s necks over who will or won’t be practicing. They have the island of misfit toys filling the meeting rooms across all positions. I’ll still never understand what in the hell Jarvis Landry was thinking when he signed a contract extension after being traded to Cleveland. LSU education for ya. Money talks I guess, even if it means you’re stuck living in a city that is most famously known for it’s river that caught on fire and being the taint stuck between the dickheads in Detroit and assholes in Pittsburgh.

At least they have Josh Gordon, an oasis of talent in the Desert of Suck. Oh wait, no they don’t. They finally decided to cut bait with the talented WR because he was 10 minutes late to the facility with a mysterious hamstring injury that miraculously healed when it was time to report to his new team in Foxborough. Continue reading

All Eyes Are on Tonight’s Ohio State vs. TCU Match-up… and… BAM Josh Gordon Is Getting Released

As America was settling down for the evening, getting ready for tonight’s Top-15 match-up between Ohio State and TCU, the Browns dropped a bombshell that I don’t think anyone was expecting.

Don’t get me wrong… I think we all knew this is how the Cleveland-Gordon love story would end, but I don’t think anyone was expecting it this early in his most recent comeback tour.  Continue reading

Antonio Gates Will Play Tight End in the NFL at the Age of 38

I don’t even know which angle to take on this one. My initial thought on this breaking news was the fact that I’m 6 years younger than Antonio Gates and can’t even comfortably get out of bed in the morning despite not being an NFL tight end. That’s both depressing and impressive. It’s impressive that I can get so sore by being a lethargic blogger and equally impressive that someone that old can still strap it up at such a physical position a weekly basis.   Continue reading

Mychal Kendricks Released After Insider Trading Charges – Jimmy Haslam, Pot Meet Kettle

Despite his invaluable scouting report he provided to the Browns on his former Eagles teammates (a report that anyone with NFL Sunday Ticket could have provided) the Browns have decided they’re not in the business of shady….. business… at least when it comes to their players.

I figured this move was coming eventually, mostly because he’d be busy serving time in a white collar prison, but the Browns decided to cut ties with Mychal Kendricks on the same day he was hit with insider trading charges. The questionable part about this move was brought to the forefront by our friends at ProFootballTalk.com  Continue reading

BREAKING NEWS: Two-Time NFL MVP Doesn’t Bail on Training Camp to Travel Across the Country and Attend Brother Who Had to Rely on Reality TV for Fame Because He Couldn’t Cut It in the NFL’s 30th Birthday Party

Wait a second… are you telling me a 2x NFL MVP, Super Bowl winning quarterback, Super Bowl MVP, and current starter of the Green Bay Packers didn’t bail on training camp to go to his brother’s birthday party? Wow, I guess some people just don’t have the same values we held back in our day.  Continue reading

It’s an Oil Change Saturday!

 

No, not that kind of oil change. Thank God.

Now that you’re done having an anxiety attack from thinking about giving yourself an oil change, we can move on.

Don’t get too excited though, this won’t be a regular recurring blog. I don’t drive that often so it takes me a while to hit the standard 5,000-7,500 miles most vehicle manuals suggest for an ol’ swapperoo of the black sludge and overpriced filter. Some auto parts stores give you a free filter when you buy 5-quarts of oil, but these oil change places aren’t so generous. I feel bad saying that because they gave me free coffee and a bottle of water while I wait. Now I feel bad for not considering the free WiFi access they gave me (which isn’t showing up on my list of available networks, but I’m not one to complain about such things). The coffee is a little burnt, which I suspect is a result of it being brewed this morning when they opened at 8am. I don’t want to disappoint anyone that thought this might be a blog about oil changes and the different places people take their cars to get their oil changed (e.g. their parents house, dealerships, a buddy’s place or your favorite local mechanic), but I think I’ll jump into some sports while I wait on my car. Continue reading