The Undertaker’s “Surprise” Appearance at WrestleMania Breeds Copycat Acts in the High School Ranks

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USA TODAY – A high school girl from Georgia arrived to prom in a casket, and videos of the reveal have since gone viral.

“I was shocked,” Alexandrea Clark told 11Alive over Skype Monday. “I didn’t know that it was going to go that viral.”

Clark arrived to her senior prom in a hearse on Saturday at Americus Sumter High School. She took the short, five to 10-minute ride from the funeral home to school. She said her vision for her grand entrance was two years in the making.

What in the actual fuck? If you read the whole article, which I reluctantly did, Alexandrea said this was a way to encourage her classmates to not drink and drive. I get that, but I always found the snatching-keys-with-two-fingered-poke-to-the-sternum more effective. Showing up in a casket inside a hearse is bizarre despite the meanings behind the act. Ms. Clark plans on being a funeral director after school, which is great and all, but I planned on being a huge disappointment to my family after school and guess what, I went to prom like the rest of my classmates rather than showing up as my future self (40lbs overweight and losing hair faster than you can say Propecia). I don’t know what would be creepier: post-late-20’s Mac showing up to a high school prom or chicks rolling up in caskets.   Continue reading

WrestleMania 34 Wish List

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I’m sure by now you’ve seen about a million blogs, articles and podcast hosts list their WrestleMania 34 predictions. For the most part, you can usually tell how the show is going to go based on the Vegas betting odds and looking ahead at which Superstars are scheduled for work outside of the wrestling ring, etc.

I try to avoid those unless I don’t have much invested in the pay-per-view, and WrestleMania would qualify as one of those special occasions where I’m doing everything within my power to avoid any potential spoilers. So here it goes. This is my wish list of what I hope and think should happen at WrestleMania 34 in New Orleans.  Continue reading

I’m Doing My Best to Look Like Braun Strowman but It’s Not Working

braun strowmanFightful.com – “When I’m not flipping ambulances I’m in the gym stacking plates and banging weights. I eat 15,000 calories a day just to be able to feed the monster. It takes a lot to run almost a 400 pound frame. As far as training goes, sometimes I just go out into the woods and I beat trees down with my bare hands.”

“It’s my guilty pleasure, even though I’m trying to get Chipotle to sponsor me, because I spend $150 a week in there. It’s $25 dollars for every bowl. It’s three scoops of steak, two scoops of chicken, double guacamole, cheese, sour cream, and corn.”

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That, my friends, is a lot of food. Many of you are probably well aware #MacsConeyChallenge. I’m currently at 132 coneys of the 400 I promised to eat before 2018 is over. I can pack away some food, and it turns out I’m in great company. According to Fightful.com, who did the noble work of transcribing interviews Braun did with the New York Stock Exchange and Between The Ropes, The Monster Among Us destroys Chipotle 6 days as week to help keep up his 6’8″ 385lbs bod. Each bowl is $25 and contains enough meat to feed a small family.

I’m no stranger to double-meat at Chipotle. The trick is to just say you want steak at first, then add on a scoop of chicken. That way they don’t dick you over and skimp on the scoops knowing you’re getting double-meat. They’ve shown their hand and they’d be total dicks if they shortchanged you on the chicken after they gave you heaping pile of steak. Keep that one in your back pocket for the next time you find yourself craving some Mexican fare.

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Nice Try Dana White, but You’re Not Going to “out McMahon” Vince

 

Nice try Dana White. You couldn’t just sit back and let WrestleMania weekend go by without trying to steal the show, could you? Do I really think this is all scripted to snipe the headlines during Masters weekend and WrestleMania?

Probably not, but also probably.  Continue reading

YES! YES! YES! Daniel Bryan Cleared by WWE for in-ring Action

Wowsers. I don’t even know what to say, so this is gonna be a long ramble that I hope turns out somewhat coherent. There are always rumors popping up that Daniel Bryan may be inserted into a feud ever since he returned to the WWE as SmackDown Live’s GM, but there seemed to be little to no point in it since he wasn’t cleared for in-ring action. That all changed today when the WWE dropped this bombshell on us.

With rumors that AJ Styles may be injured, the timing couldn’t be any better for the WWE leading up to WrestleMania. Or was that just a work this whole time and he’ll wedge his way into another storyline? Who knows and I couldn’t really care less how it happens, I’m just excited the YES! movement is back in full effect. At first glance, it looks like we still may be getting the dream match of AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura and Daniel Bryan could be paired with Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. Howevah- if Styles truly is hurt, we’ll get the true dream match we didn’t think was possible anymore: Daniel Bryan vs. Shinsuke Nakamura. Tonight’s SmackDown should be action packed with everyone hanging on a thread until Daniel Bryan’s path to WrestleMania is revealed. If it were me, I would’ve left his fate with the WWE doctors a mystery a little longer as a feud built, not knowing if it could be settled in the ring or not, but their hand may have been forced if they know something about AJ Styles that hasn’t been made public yet.

Follow me on Twitter and check back on the site for additional updates as they become available.

WWE Fastlane Predictions (Possible Spoilers)

Tonight the WWE makes it’s last stop on the Road to WrestleMania 34 as the SmackDown brand takes over Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. With it being the last pay-per-view before The Show of Shows, I don’t expect too many shakeups with the major title pictures. However, that may be exactly what they want you to think (but don’t count on it, seriously).  Will this finally be the night we see Carmella cash in her Money in the Bank contract that she’s been carrying around for what seems to have been 28 years? We’ll see…  Continue reading

Jerry Jones Says “NO EXTENSION FOR YOU!”

Who didn’t expect this? Jerry Jones is not happy with Roger Goodell’s current handling of his star running back’s off the field troubles. At this point there’s not much he can do on the Zeke front as it plays out in court, but that doesn’t mean he won’t go down kicking and screaming.

You know what else is going on in the Commissioner’s office right now? A contract extension. Not so fast my friends.   Continue reading