Somebody Compiled All of Tom Haverford’s Business Ideas From Parks and Recreation, and Folks… Someone Better Call Shark Tank

They were spread out across seven seasons so it was hard to keep track of them all, but Tom Haverford had some pretty impressive business ideas. In fact, there are three to four ideas that I probably would’ve lost a ton of money investing in. Maybe that’s why I haven’t been offered a chair on Shark Tank yet.

Lucky for us, someone stayed up way too late one night and spliced them all together in a four minute video for our viewing pleasure. Continue reading

The Office Episode Where Dwight Cuts the Face off of a CPR Dummy Saved Someones Life in Arizona

tucson.com – Nothing in Cross Scott’s life prepared him for finding a woman slumped over her steering wheel, her lips blue. He says he just reacted. He broke a back window, opened her door and crawled on top of her. With no training, he gave her CPR that may have saved her life.

What popped into Scott’s head was an episode of the television show “The Office” in which character Michael Scott (actor Steve Carell) sings the Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive” while doing chest compressions on a dummy. The episode, where the gang takes an in-office CPR course, could actually be a tutorial in what not to do. The one thing it got right was using that song as a meter — the correct tempo for chest compressions.

This is proof that TV isn’t just rotting our brains and making our world a worse place. Is it sad that someone had to rely on something they learned from binge watching a television show to save someone’s life? Maybe, but things are different these days. School doesn’t really teach you many life lessons on how to actually survive in the world. Paying bills, fixing a flat tire, budgeting for a normal lifestyle without blowing every dollar you earn? Ahhh, that’s for the birds. All that matters is you know that noble gases are inert since they have completed outer electron shells*. Isn’t that what you’re worried about when you’re trying to avoid getting your water shut off for the third time in six months? Continue reading

Wake Up With The Best of Rafi From The League

I’m sure by now you’re either looking forward to the 2019 fantasy football season or praying Patrick Mahomes doesn’t get hurt during your playoff run. Either way, I think we can all agree that every fantasy league has an… uhhh, let’s say “interesting” member. The hit show The League on FX and FXX was no different. If it wasn’t Taco making us laugh because he was too stoned to care about starting a full roster, it was Rafi making us laugh and want to puke at the same time. Regardless of where you’re at on the fantasy football spectrum for the remainder of the season, I think we should all take some time to appreciate Rafi. Have yourself a Wednesday, folks.

EXTREMELY NSFW (NOT SAFE FOR WORK, FOR JEFE)

offensive brutecant look away

Mr. Feeny Is Too Busy Fighting Burglars to Die

Talk about a classic “crap your pants while you’re driving home from the zoo” moment when I came across this headline at a red light (no texting/tweeting while driving in my reasonably priced luxury sedan). Mr. Feeny dying would be the saddest non-family member bad news I think I could receive. I’m not even willing to put any of my friends ahead of Mr. Feeny, because unlike my friends, Mr. Feeny was always there for me from 2-3pm on ABC Family. I don’t wanna point any fingers or call anyone out but sometimes Whitty won’t respond to my texts for up to 2 minutes after I send them. Again, not to call anyone out but did Mr. Feeny ever show up 2 minutes late during the weekdays? That’s what I thought.   Continue reading

Television’s Hottest Moms Power Rankings [POSSIBLE SITCOM SPOILERS]

**DISCLAIMER: This list was completed with the upmost respect for all of the lucky moms that were selected. They are all great moms (except for a few of them) and that should not be overshadowed by their killer bods and good looks**

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It’s an annual tradition at Milliron Sports for the Mother’s Day release of Television’s Hottest Moms Power Rankings. To this date, it’s probably our most successful annual blog that is in it’s first year of publication. If you haven’t caught on yet, this is the first and probably only time I’ll be doing this. Not because I’m afraid of the naysayers and haters coming out of the woodwork and questioning my rankings, but for a few other reasons: 1. I don’t watch much new TV so the odds of someone coming onto my radar and supplanting a mom from my Top 10 is unlikely, and 2. like anything else we do, I’ll probably forget to update the rankings in 2019 assuming we’re still in existence (the site, not humanity. Although I suppose I could be talking about both).

Enough about me complaining about not having enough time to watch tv and questioning the threat of nuclear war wiping us off the planet… onto the rankings:

Continue reading