Wake Up With Whitty – 12/10/2017

Hello and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. I’m coming to you late once again, and in a surprisingly okay mood despite the Bengals debacle against the Bears this afternoon. That’s most likely because I slept through the majority of the game, so I didn’t actually have to experience it. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Wow Whitty, some fan you are. Not even watching your team play just because they’re having a down season? You must not be a big sports guy.” Well, my friend, I’m currently battling a severely mild upper respiratory tract infection. The fact that I even have the strength to blog right now is incredible. Hats off to me. It takes a lot of courage to fight through an ailment like this, but I’m playing hurt because of my commitment to the game and the tremendous amount of heart that I have. I bet you feel like a jerk for calling me out for napping during the Bengals game now, don’t you? You should. And you’ve officially made my list. But I’m not going to let haters like you knock me off my game. Because I’m resilient and tough and frankly I’m just happy someone is reading this. Here’s this week’s #WUWW:

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Wake Up With Whitty – 12/3/2017

Hello and welcome to a late afternoon edition of Wake Up With Whitty. And by “late afternoon” I mean that this probably got finished late Sunday night and then I backdated it a few hours. A little trick we like to use in The Biz. Keeps your loyal fans on their toes and helps you reach a whole new audience. It’s how I’ve become so successful. And now that you’ve had a sneak peak at how the sausage gets made, it’s time to focus on more important things, like how I’m pissed about the College Football Playoff decision and how I can’t decide if I’m going to pop in Home Alone on DVD tomorrow night or if I’m going to suck it up and watch my Bengals embarrass themselves on Monday Night Football. So without further ado, here’s Wake Up With Whitty:

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Wake Up With Whitty – 11/26/2017

Hello and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. It’s been a long weekend but it’s finally coming to a close. Most of you have probably been off since at least Thursday. I’m sure you ate way too much food over the past 3-5 days too (Side Note: If you’re one of those “Ham is a better Thanksgiving food than turkey” lunatics, please stop reading now. You’re not welcome here). You’ve either spent some quality time with family or spent time doing everything possible trying to avoid family. You spent hours watching football all weekend and maybe even slipped in a basketball game or two (I hear people are still into that these days). Hell, you may have even put up your Christmas decorations already. With all of that going on, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that you have to go back to work tomorrow. The week after Thanksgiving always feels like the longest week of the year, especially on Monday. So as the NFL games wrap up on Sunday, you’ll start to have the very sobering realization that you have to go back to reality tomorrow. And that’s easily one of the most depressing feelings ever. I can’t do anything to fix that, but hopefully I can at least offer you a brief distraction with today’s Wake Up With Whitty.

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OU’s Playoff Hopes are Still Alive…but Barely

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While many people may have left them for dead, there’s still an outside chance that OU can squeak into the College Football Playoff this year. And just to clarify, we’re talking about the real OU, not those idiots out in Norman that don’t understand how abbreviations work. Sure, the Bobcats chances took a big hit Tuesday night with an unexpected loss at the hands of Akron, but all hope is not lost in Athens, OH. After crunching some numbers, running millions of simulations (manually, by hand, because Milliron Sports didn’t have much room in the technology budget this year) and studying dozens of résumés from playoff hopefuls, it appears that Ohio still has an outside chance. Admittedly, it’s a pretty big long-shot, but it’s not impossible. Hear me out… Continue reading

Wake Up With Whitty – 11/12/2017

Hello and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. The last few weeks of college football have been pretty crazy, in an exciting kind of way (except for last week’s OSU/Iowa game, which I refuse to acknowledge), and yesterday was no exception. We saw two top 4 teams fall and four top 10 teams. In each of the past 3 weeks we’ve seen at least two top 10 teams go down. With two weeks left in the season, plus conference championship games still to come, there’s a good chance we’ll see more shakeups before all is said and done. This could be the first year we see a 2-loss team in the College Football Playoff (fingers crossed). So if the NFL isn’t giving you enough excitement (and if you’re Bengals fan like me, it isn’t), there’s plenty to be found in the college game. And if that doesn’t it for you, then I don’t know how to help you…

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Wake Up With Whitty – 11/5/2017

Good Morning and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty.  It’s the end of Daylight Saving Time, so if you haven’t already, make sure you set your microwave’s clock back an hour.  And if you have any other clocks in your house that don’t set themselves automatically then you need to re-evaluate your life choices.  I always have a hard time wrapping my mind around whether I’m getting extra time or if I’m losing time.  And the people that don’t even take part in Daylight Saving Time?  Are they living in the future? Or the past?  Time travel is a complex, confusing concept.  All I know is if for some reason this blog post isn’t available when you would normally expect it, it’s because it got lost in the Daylight Saving Time time warp.  Sorry.
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Wake Up With Whitty – 10/21/2017

Good morning and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. It’s Bengals/Steelers weekend so keep your head on a swivel out there.  Burfict’s going to be out there taking heads off, and I’m sure Mike Mitchell will be doing Mike Mitchell things:

It’s going to be an ugly AFC North slugfest on Sunday.  Any time these two teams get together, there’s going to be fireworks, and you can guarantee that both teams’ fans will be bitching about how dirty the other team played.  In my experience, one of the two teams’ fans have been 100% justified in their complaints and the other team should quit whining because the one time that they actually did fall victim to a dirty play it helped them Steel a playoff victory.  I won’t say which team is which though because Wake Up With Whitty is a place of love and acceptance so we should all just put aside the hate for a moment.  Ok, moment’s over: I hate Pittsburgh.  Here’s Wake Up With Whitty:
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Wake Up With Whitty – 10/14/2017

Good morning and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty.  It’s finally every Bengals fan’s favorite time of year: the week that the Bengals place Tyler Eifert on season ending injured reserve.  It only took a little over 4 weeks this year, almost a record time.  Fun fact, I bought an Eifert jersey prior to the 2014 season.  He didn’t even make it through the first game that year. Since I purchased the jersey he’ll have played in 24 out of a possible 64 games for the Bengals (including the remainder of the 2017 season).  Many people are saying he’s fallen victim to the infamous Whitty Jersey Curse.  Did I contribute to his inability to stay healthy by purchasing his jersey? (Maybe.). Is it just a coincidence? (Probably.)  Should I grow up and be an adult and stop wearing sports jerseys in general? (Never.)  There’s a pretty good chance that we’ve seen him play his last game as a Bengal.  As an Eifert fan, that’s tough to swallow, but it’s hard to justify keeping a guy around when he’s on the field for less than half of the team’s games.  So instead, fans have to come to terms and do the only thing that’s reasonable: focus on other peoples’ problems to distract us from our own.  Here’s Wake Up With Whitty. Continue reading

Wake Up With Whitty – 10/7/2017

Hello and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. It’s October and the NHL season is finally here. The Blue Jackets looked sharp in their season-opening 5-0 victory over the Islanders.  As an unbiased observer (fan) I honestly cannot envision a scenario where the Jackets don’t go 82-0 (Editor’s Note: 81-1-0) and then sweep their way to a Stanley Cup championship. I know it was only one game, but I’ve seen enough to say that I can’t see anyone beating this team (Editor’s Note: Again.).  It was also great seeing the Penguins on the wrong side of a 10-1 ass kicking.  I don’t usually care for the Blackhawks, but anyone that embarrasses the Pens like that is okay in my book.  Let’s just hope they got it all out of their systems for tonight.
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Wake Up With Whitty – 9/30/2017

Good morning and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. A lot is going on in the sports world right now. The college basketball world has been rocked by scandal, which hits particularly hard if you happen to be a Louisville fan. We’re just a day away from October, which is a huge month for sports. College football teams start to get into the bulk of their conference schedules, MLB playoffs get underway, and the NHL and NBA seasons start up (Wake me up when September ends, am I right?). So go ahead and settle in with your caffeinated beverage of choice. Maybe it’s coffee. Maybe it’s tea. Maybe it’s an energy drink. Maybe it’s something really cool that I don’t even know about. I’m accepting of all ways of life here, unlike one of my coffee-drinking elitist fellow bloggers. Unless you’re one of those people that just wake up naturally energized and don’t need caffeine to get through life. That’s weird. Get out of here with that shit.

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