Reds and Dodgers Swap Large Contracts in Blockbuster Deal

Oh my God, it finally happened. As first reported by Whitty via his screenshot of the ESPN alert he got on his phone, the Cincinnati Reds have finally traded Homer Bailey to the Los Angeles Dodgers. Continue reading

Patrick Mahomes Has a New Endorsement Deal. Which Condiment Would You Want to Endorse You?

A few months ago Patrick Mahomes put himself on the FBI’s Most Wanted List by letting the world know that he loves ketchup so much that he ruins perfectly good foods like mac & cheese and steak with it. I’m not gonna completely shun Mr. Mahomes since he’s been such a fantasy football darling for geniuses who drafted him this season, but putting ketchup on these items is enough to warrant a full background investigation. Is his name even Patrick? I don’t know, but the man can put up fantasy numbers.

The fact that Hunt’s came after Mahomes and not Heinz is genius for all parties involved. Can you imagine if Steeler fans learned how to read and saw the news that their beloved Heinz was endorsing the quarterback who is going to knock them out of the playoffs this year? The rage rolling throughout the hills of Western PA would be furious enough to blow the french fries off of everyone’s sandwiches. What a scene.

I’m happy to see Patrick Mahomes taking advantage of the fame and getting every dollar he can. Is it weird? Maybe a little, but athletes endorse weird shit all the time. If it weren’t for weird endorsements from athletes, Dan Marino would’ve never been kidnapped during an Isotoner Gloves commercial and we wouldn’t have have the cinematic gem, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

Everybody knows that bloggers/podcasters are the same as athletes. The amount of preparation and toll our bodies take are unmatched in comparison to other careers. You think I enjoy my wrists hurting and knees cracking every time I try to move? You think my back would hurt this bad if I had a job as a surgeon? Not likely. I decided to take a break from icing my knees and removed my carpal tunnel wrist guards to work on a few endorsement deals of my own.

“What condiment would everyone from the now-defunct podcast The Nati Boys be endorsed by?”  is a question you probably found yourself asking the moment you saw the Patrick Mahomes news. Lucky for you, I’m here to tell you. Continue reading

Am I Being Trolled by The Frisco Bowl?

It’s #BowlSZN and we’re back on the football-game-every-night schedule that we all know and love. Getting the itch to watch two 7-5 teams duke it out on a Tuesday night in front of 300 screaming fans? ESPN has you covered. Need to see a middle of the pack Mountain West team lay the icky thump on a team from the Sun Belt? Be sure to tune into CBS Sports Network. I’ll see you there.

This year OUr beloved Ohio Bobcats are taking on the Aztecs of San Diego State in the prestigious Frisco Bowl – a bowl game so highly regarded that they play it in a stadium that has an MLS team as it’s primary tenant. Sound familiar, San Diego football fans? Have no fear though, the Aztecs will return to San Diego after their stint in a soccer cathedral (unlike your Chargers). #BoltUp

When I first heard the Bobcats would be traveling to the Frisco Bowl, I thought “oh, that’s pretty cool. A bowl game that doesn’t sell out to a weird sponsor like we’ve seen so many times before.” Man, was I wrong. It’s not just the Frisco Bowl.. It’s the DXL Frisco Bowl. Yeah, the company that sells clothes to plus-size dudes (it’s ok to say fat guys I think, but I didn’t wanna risk it in this day and age). Continue reading

It’s Monday Morning, so Here’s Barry Larkin’s Final Home Run of His Hall of Fame Career

I’m not crying, you’re crying.

I think every baseball fan has a specific player that made them fall in love with the game. For me, it was Barry Larkin. Barry was one of the first shortstops that perfected his craft both at the plate and in the field. He was the type of player little league coaches could point to and say “that’s the player you need to be”. Being a hometown kid playing in Cincinnati didn’t hurt either.

He became the first ever 30-30 shortstop in Major League Baseball history which was a nice compliment to his three Gold Gloves. The man had nine Silver Slugger awards, 12 All-Star Game appearances and a National League Most Valuable Player on his mantle when he was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2012.

When people ask why I still let the Reds ruin my summer, I point to the #11 retired behind home plate at Great American Ball Park. If it wasn’t for Barry, I wouldn’t have a life long Reds fandom that will (hopefully) someday payoff. I’m hoping someday I’ll have a World Series ticket stub so sit right between my Barry Larkin bobblehead and foul ball on my desk. Until then, I’ll always have his highlights on YouTube.

Charlotte Flair Is a Better Man Than I Am

Sweet mother of God. That looked painful.

For those of you unaware, tonight was WWE’s annual Tables, Ladders and Chairs pay-per-view. Speaking of which, I’m not really sure why they still call them pay-per-views in the WWE. You have to subscribe to the WWE Network (award winning, if you hadn’t heard) in order to watch any of the pay-per-views so you’re not really paying per view, if that makes sense.  Either way, that’s what was on tonight, running in concurrence with the Rams shitting the bed and not knowing how to get out of bounds when you don’t have any timeouts left. If you didn’t feel like watching 300lb men collide over and over again while you lost your bets, you could flip over to the WWE Network to see a bunch of overgrown human beings slam each other through tables, fall from 20ft ladders and get their ribs rearranged by metal chairs. Continue reading

After Playing Too Much Fortnite, NYC Woman Turns Umbrella Into Infinity Blade

I’m not gonna sit here and act like I’m a Fortnite expert. I think I’ve killed fewer than 3 people in the 50ish Battle Royales I’ve been blessed to be a part of. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot of fun playing for about an hour a week with my guy-pals (I like to say gal-pals when talking about my #DaughterSquad, but I don’t think it translates when talking about my Milliron Sports co-workers and friends). Last night I hopped on to play a few round with former co-hosts of the Nati Boys, Whitty, Jefe and DB. Boy, were we having a load of fun. First, I flew a plane off the cliff killing both Whitty and myself within seconds of starting the Battle Royal. That got a lot of laughs but really sent DB and Jefe up Shit Creek for the rest of the match. I didn’t feel too bad though, because I’m in the squad for laughs, not helping everyone win.

About halfway though one of our first Battle Royales, some random dude came flying up on me with a badass sword that resulted in your immediate death. It’s not as realistic as having to shoot someone 500 times for them to die like the rest of the game, but it is still pretty sweet nonetheless. I had never seen it, but I was quickly informed by my gamer pals (that sounds better) that it was part of the most recent season, which is extra confusing because I’ve never known video games to have seasons like TV shows, but what do I know? What I do know is I really want to have a crack at the Infinity Blade, and if I have to resort to using my umbrella on a subway instead, then so be it.  Continue reading

That’s It – Christmas Is Cancelled, and You Can Thank the People Selling Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

I hate to ruin the holiday season before we’re a full 10 days into December, but I had to do it.

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I don’t even know where to start with this one. Here I was, just enjoying a nice, relaxing Sunday evening. I watched Bad Moms for the first time so I wouldn’t feel lost when I tried to watch A Bad Moms Christmas before Jesus’ big day. I packed my lunch for the next three days and did the exact amount of laundry to get me through one workday. I didn’t think there was anything that could ruin my wonderful Sunday routine until I hopped on the Ol’ Twitter Machine to see what type of offerings they had for me before I fired up a Netflix marathon that would undoubtedly lead to me running around my house like a god damn McCallister after the power reset their alarm clocks tomorrow morning.

That’s when I came across this horrific news: Continue reading