Vanderbilt’s Head Coach Derek Mason Just Cut the Best Wrestling Promo of the Year

Little known fact, but Derek Mason was the wide receivers coach at Ohio, so I’m already gonna credit about 95% of his swag to his time in Athens. Who cares about his time as an assistant coach in the NFL or 4 years on the Stanford sideline? This type of energy and passion is fueled by one thing, and that’s Black Widows at the Pigskin.

You can take the man out of Ohio, but you can’t take the Ohio out of the man.

Seriously though, I love when players get amped up in post game interviews after a big upset. So to see a head coach in the SEC cut a promo better than anything the WWE has written in 5 years after Vandy upset Missouri is welcomed by me.

Here’s to hoping Vanderbilt keeps pulling off upsets throughout the season so we can get more Derek Mason on our TVs.

Sonny Milano’s Highlight Reel Goal Just Made Me Shriek Like a Little Kid

Sweet mother of mercy. That was something. What is even better was seeing Tortorella’s reaction on the bench.

Anyone who has ever played a sport or holds junior high football records (like I do) knows this look from a coach. It’s the “if that didn’t work out, I would’ve chewed your ass” look. Thankfully for Sonny, everything worked out, otherwise he might not have seen the ice again until February.

While we’re here, I might as well post a Sonny Milano stick tricks video. The guy has sick mitts (eh?). I have a feeling we have a lot more of these crazy goals coming our way.

 

CBS Not Knowing Who Bengals Owner Mike Brown Is Might be the Most Perfect Thing Ever

Has there ever been a more perfect example of how terrible things are for the Bengals right now than this? I mean, I’m not saying every NFL fan should know what every NFL owner looks like, but I’m willing to bet I could go 90% in the NFL Owner Match Game for teams with a single, forward facing owner.

This just lets me know that nobody in that production truck was from Cincinnati, because well all know what that mother fucker looks like around here. He haunts our dreams and has crushed our souls since childhood.

The side by side comparison makes it even better. Continue reading

Tank For Tua

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With an 0-5 start the Bengals appear to be in full tank-mode, which leaves us pondering what the future holds for some of the veteran players on both sides of the ball.  We’re already looking forward to how the team will manage to ruin their high draft picks in the coming years, and while he hasn’t had much to work with, nobody has been overly impressed with the start of Zac Taylor’s tenure.  It’s not all doom and gloom on the gridiron though, as UC and Ohio State both had big wins this past weekend, and each team appears to be the favorite to finish on top of their respective divisions.

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Wake Up With Dale Doback’s Drum Solo From Step Brothers

 

If this doesn’t get you going on a Monday morning, then I don’t know what to tell you. I tried to get you pumped up for another work week but there’s no helping your sorry ass. If this got you pumped, then welcome to the Thunder Dome. We’re about to kick this week’s ass thanks to Dale Doback shredding the drums at the Catalina Fucking Wine Mixer.

Jackets 3-2 over the Sabres tonight. Book it.

What’s More Impressive? Swallowing an Engagement Ring or a Bottle Cap?

I’ve seen this story being passed around the internet today, but I’m not impressed one bit.

SAN DIEGO, Cali. (WSET) – A San Diego woman swallowed her wedding ring after falling asleep.

“I was having a dream that we were on a cargo train and it was a dangerous situation and Bobby told me you have to swallow your ring,” said Evans.

“When I woke up and it was not on my hand, I knew exactly where it was,” said Evans. “Where was it? It was in my stomach.”

At 8:00 a.m., they rushed to the emergency room and explained the situation to doctors.

The X-Ray confirmed their suspicions.

Evan’s gastroenterologist suggested an emergency endoscopy.

Why wouldn’t I be impressed with something bizarre like swallowing an engagement ring and having an x-ray showing the ring perfectly placed in your stomach? Maybe because I’ve lived that fucking story before, but mine was a Miller Lite bottle cap. Continue reading