I Think Someone at Arby’s is Trying to Poison Me

Today started out like any ordinary Wednesday. I hit my snooze button repeatedly on my Apple Watch before tossing on my L.L. Bean house slippers on my way to the bathroom. Should I take a nice relaxing bath to start the day or the standard 35-minute shower? It felt like a shower kinda day, so who was I to argue? It’s clear I’m a man of fine taste with a refined palate, so it was obvious what I was getting for dinner a short twelve hours later. Arby’s.

Who doesn’t love a big sloppy Beef ‘n Cheddar with a side of curly fries? Hell, I was feeling good so I even threw on an order of cheese sticks for the trek home. I had my night planned out: I was going to go home, destroy my feast from Arby’s, finish watching Monday Night Raw on the DVR and even clear out Smackdown Live if I could stay awake. Who knows, maybe even a little Goldberg’s action if I wasn’t ready to go to bed. Man, oh man was I in for a surprise.  Continue reading