I Hate Sports and I Quit

Let the record show: Sunday, February 18th, 2018 is the day I finally quit. I’m sick of the constant letdown and disappointment. Its my fault, honestly. I could just become a bandwagon fan like I’ve seen so many people do. I could be a Duke basketball fan, Alabama football fan and alternate between the Patriots and Steelers, whichever was winning the most at the time. Yankees too? Why not? If I’m going all in, I might as well wear a pinstriped Aaron Judge jersey and spit on people as I scream about 27 rings.


Instead, I’ve remained loyal to my Cincinnati roots. I even refuse to root for an NBA team with one of the best players that ever lived simply because they’re in Cleveland. Rooting for the Cavs would be so easy, yet I would rather be caught watching Lena Dunham make out with Jake Paul by my grandma than Witness anything King James is doing up north. Sure, I have my on-again off-again relationship with the Denver Nuggets, but we’re like Ross and Rachel from Friends. Will we end up together when it’s all said and done? I guess you’ll have to buy the box set to find out.

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“Seasoned” Backup Veteran Hits Free Agent Market

Well, it is official AJ McCarron has won his grievance case against the Bengals and this means he is officially a free agent as of March. This also means that the botched trade with the Browns, as if it wasn’t bad enough, will sting just a little bit more. Continue reading

Hopefully the Bengals Took Notes

Well, it is sad but football is over for a while and for the rest of the winter and spring 31 of the 32 fan-bases are stuck scratching their heads wondering about what could’ve happened. Experts will immediately start/ continue to analyze the next batch of superstars that will bring glory and championships to franchises. One franchise has some time to celebrate before they have to refocus. Was it the team everyone expected? No, it was a team most of the sports world counted out from week one. The Philadelphia Eagles are the best team in football and it definitely didn’t happen by accident.

No matter the outcome year to year I am a lifelong Bengals fan, I have no idea why at times but I love them. I don’t have all the answers as to how they can fix their woes, nor am I going to run through my ideas because no one cares. I am simply going to say to the Bengals, hopefully, you took notes. The Eagles were the hottest team in free agency, they also have a young coach willing to take chances, and they survived injury with the next man up approach. We were preached change with Marvin Lewis 3.0, I just want them to prove it. The Eagles have a franchise I would try to emulate for years to come!

(Source: AP Photo/Gary Landers)

Saying Goodbye to Jeremy Hill

On Wednesday, Bengals RB Jeremy Hill posted the above tweet and video. As a Bengals fan, I’m not 100% sure how to feel about his departure. His four seasons here were so hit or miss (mostly miss after his rookie campaign). He showed so much promise in his rookie season that went on to go unfulfilled.

Did some of the lack of production in 2015 and 2016 have to do with awful O-line play? Of course. But, it also felt like he tried to change his running style to mimic Le’Veon Bell, where you hesitate and wait for the holes that never showed up. Running downhill was much more productive for him, and he seemed to lose that function of his game after 2014. His 1100 yards in 2014 shrunk to 800 in 2015 with the same amount of carries.

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Mac and Whitty’s NFL Uniform Power Rankings (32-25)

Mac and Whitty have a lot of similar interests. One thing they almost universally agree on is what makes a uniform good or bad. In the spirit of the NFL Divisional Round Weekend, they decided to power rank the NFL uniforms. Each genius made their list, 32 being the worst, 1 the best. In the event of two teams’ rankings average being a tie, the city with the lowest elevation got the nod, because low man always wins. Here we go…


32. Jacksonville Jaguars (Mac: 32, Whitty 32)

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Mac: Embarrassing. That’s really all you can say about Jacksonville’s helmet. If they needed extra cash to finish painting their helmets, they could’ve just called the Milliron Sports office and we would’ve floated them the funds to avoid having to look at these atrocities every Sunday. Be better, Jaguars. They look like an NFL Europe reboot, which makes perfect sense now that I think about it…

Whitty: Yikes. This uniform has just about everything I hate in it. Weird number font. Partial stripe on the pants. Weird trim around the collar. And the helmet. My god, the helmet. I don’t know how anyone thought that was a good idea. I actually like the black, teal and gold color combination, and think it could look good if done right. The Jags unis are not done right.


31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Mac: 31, Whitty 31) 

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Mac: The Bucs may have the worst number font used in all of sports. It reminds me of some of my drawings as a kid where I’d fail miserably to recreate the electronic numbers seen on scoreboards (I drew a lot of sports pictures, sue me). Pair this with the fact that their equipment manager ordered the wrong decal size for their helmet, and you’re looking at a disaster of a uniform.

Whitty: There’s not much to like here. The helmet logo is too big, I’m not a fan of the contrasting shoulder panels, the quarter-stripe at the bottom of the pants is pointless and the number font looks ugly. Extra points off for the font because it reminds me of an alarm clock, which gives me anxiety about waking up early for work. Do everyone a favor and go back to the old school creamsicle jerseys.


30. Seattle Seahawks (Mac: 30, Whitty: 29)

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Mac: I feel like Tony Sparano every time I watch the Seahawks because the neon green accent is just too bright for an NFL uniform. “Slap on the shades bro, the Seahawks are on SNF for the 48th time this season”. The texture of their numbers and random helmet panel also don’t belong on an NFL uniform. This is the type of stuff I’d expect out of a PAC-12 team trying to look cool and relevant for recruits at their 11:30PM ET kickoff.

Whitty: There’s a lot going on here, and most of it sucks. The neon green just looks out of place. The strange stripe pattern on the pants doesn’t make sense and the shoulder stripes aren’t much better. Another team that would benefit from dialing the clock back 20 years or so.


29. Cincinnati Bengals (Mac: 29, Whitty: 28)

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Mac: I’m convinced that the Bengals’ uniforms are a product of Mike Brown and the NFL going to a stoned 15-year-old kid and handing him all the XP he needed to create a uniform on an outdated version of Madden since those jerks at EA got rid of the uniform creation mode because they’re snowflakes and can’t handle a very handsome blogger in Ohio creating better uniforms than their bosses at the NFL. I am cool with the helmet, but the stripes on the shoulder and different color panels on the away uniform are enough to send me into an OCD fit of rage. Bring back the classic looks from when us Bengals fans were just happy to get six wins, because that’s the state of the team anyway.

Whitty: I love the Bengals helmets. They’re unique and classic, but that’s about the only positive part of their current uniform set. The number font looks bad, I hate the contrasting sleeve/shoulder panels (especially on the white jersey) and I don’t like the shortened pants stripe that wraps around the front. I’d love to see them go back to the uniforms from the 90’s and early 2000’s.


28. Arizona Cardinals (Mac: 27, Whitty: 27) 

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Mac: If we were doing rankings based on helmets alone, then Arizona would find themselves in the top 5. I don’t know why, but the plain white helmet with the simple Cardinal logo just gets me. Their white helmet seems so much cleaner and crisper than any other organization. It’s too bad the uniforms didn’t follow suit. The busy panels of alternating colors make it look like Larry Fitzgerald is sweating whiteout (Bic sponsorship in the works??) and the road uniforms get even busier. I preferred the Cardinals when they were the worst organization in football and their uniforms looked like practice jerseys.

Whitty: This uniform set has a lot of unnecessary details to make it seem more “modern”, but they should have kept it simple. I don’t like the sleeve stripe style and I’m normally not a fan of uniforms with side panels on the jersey or tapered pants stripes.  

27. Cleveland Browns via elevation tie breaker with Arizona (Mac: 24, Whitty: 30)

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Mac: Hahahahahahahaha – so let’s get this straight: a team, who’s only redeeming quality for the entire history of their franchise was the fact that they had some of the best uniforms in the NFL despite their poorly chosen color scheme, decides to do a uniform shake up and comes up with this?? El oh f’n el. The stripes, the 1996 3D number font, the “CLEVELAND” across the chest like they’re a high school team, “BROWNS” down the side of their leg like they were afraid they’d get their pants mixed up with another team’s at a slumber party. Thank you for being you, Cleveland. Never change (unless you’re going back to your old uniform look).

Whitty: Cleveland probably has the worst color scheme in the league, but for the longest time they still managed to look halfway decent thanks to a very simple, classic uniform template. They ditched the classic look in recent years in favor of something more modern, which is a major downgrade. Hate the dropshadow on the numbers. Hate the truncated pants stripe and hate the “BROWNS” wordmark down the side of the pants. If nothing else, I’d say this uniform is fittingly terrible for a terrible football team.


26. Atlanta Falcons (Mac: 26, Whitty: 26)

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Mac: *Copy & paste the Cardinals write-up* You can tell the Cardinals and Falcons got uniform redesigns around the same time, because they have the same fatal flaws. Too many small panels and weird lines all over the uniform. Two franchises that had solid uniforms have been ruined by the need to look cool for jersey sales. Sure, 10-year-old kids in Nebraska might be rocking a $75 Julio Jones jersey because they like the red, black, and white confetti look. But is it really worth it? Is it?

Whitty: (See “Cardinals”). Another uniform that got worse when it was “modernized”. The sleeve panel color seems a bit much, and I hate the thin, tapered pants stripe. When they switched to their current set they also updated the Falcon logo, I assume to make it look more fierce. Seems unnecessary but I don’t hate it. I could do without the rest though. 


25. Tennessee Titans (Mac: 28, Whitty: 23)

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Mac: Do the Titans look like a team that designed their uniforms to be cool and hip heading into the new millennium? Yes, they do. In fact, they are still playing in the same uniforms since 1999 when they made the full transition from the Houston Oilers old (fresh-to-death) jump-offs. The logo looks like a comet with a “T” slapped on the side, and the two-toned shoulders look like hot garbage if they aren’t lined up perfectly on the shoulder pads. I would recommend going back to the classic Oilers look with a reimagined Titans logo. That’s just me though, you know, the consumer (who doesn’t buy jerseys).

Whitty: I feel like I should hate these uniforms more than I actually do. I like the combination of colors that they work into the uniforms and while the font template isn’t quite as traditional as some teams, it doesn’t look bad. The thing I don’t like is the contrasting shoulder panels. I prefer a jersey that’s more or less one color (with the exception of any logos, numbers and stripes). I also can’t stand helmets that have stripes that don’t go all the way back. Overall it’s not a terrible look, but definitely could use an update.

The Carson Wentz Injury Is My Fault

I should have known better.

The Bengals hopes of making the playoffs are all but extinct, so I began looking for another team to root for until the season is over. There are certain teams that, under any circumstances, I can’t bring myself to root for, so the Steelers and Patriots were already eliminated from my potential fandom. However, there were some strong lookers in the NFC that made me turn my head a little bit.

I always liked Mike Zimmer, so the Vikings were in contention. I could also throw my attention at the LA Rams, in hopes that Whitworth could finally get a ring that Marvin never won him in Cincy. And then, there was the Eagles. Carson Wentz seems like a good dude, and the Monday night feature about him and a dying fan was a tear jerker.

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Marvin Lewis Finally Takes a Stand Against “Problem Child” John Ross [Sarcasm Font]

Cincinnati.com – Lewis embraced the role of Grinch in the presser as he went deeper into Ross’ progress and the rookie not running the full play on Sunday because he didn’t think the ball would come to him in that coverage.

“The thing I told him and it was great because Andy was with him in the hall on Tuesday,” Lewis said. “For Andy, against that coverage to throw him that football, he should understand how the quarterback feels about him. That he expects him to be where he needs to be. He let his teammates down. He let me down. He let Andy down.”

Really? This is the guy? John Ross, who has seemingly been a good soldier all season is the guy that Marvin is going to choose to call out publicly and shame for his effort? You have guys like Pacman spitting on cops, Vontaze racking up personal fouls and getting tossed for making contact with an official (which in hindsight was horseshit, but Tez deserves anything he gets at his point), and even A.J. Green getting run from the game for executing a rear naked choke and displaying his ground and pound technique. But no.. let’s jump all over John Ross’ shit for quitting on a route, which we’ve seen every Bengals receiver do time after time during the Lewis-era.

I’m ashamed to say that up until this season, I despised the “Fire Marvin” rhetoric on talk radio, Twitter, and on Monday morning at work. This season has changed me. I’ve become so sick of Marvin Lewis and everything he’s doing to this franchise. Was he the leader we needed at one point? Absolutely. I could even see past the early playoff exits in most cases because it always seemed like something terrible would happen outside of Marvin’s control. Injuries, terrible officiating, and just about anything else that could happen to a team seemed to happen to the Bengals right as the regular season was wrapping up.

Two years ago when the Bengals melted down after they appeared to have a gigantic playoff victory locked up against the much hated Pittsburgh Steelers, the game ended in only a way a Marvin Lewis-led Bengals team would allow. Personal fouls and fighting. Granted, Joey Porter and his stupid fucking face had a lot to do with that too, but if Marvin didn’t let stupid shit slide 24/7/365, it would’ve never been a problem.

You’d think at some point, one of the other instances of stupid decisions on or off the field would draw the ire of Marvin Lewis.. but nope, it was a half-assed route by a rookie in a season that has already gone into the shitter because of Marvin’s ineptitude. I can’t wait for this season to be over so we can be done with Marvin. Mike Brown doesn’t have the balls to fire him during the season, and probably not even after the season. Our only hope is Marvin doesn’t want to come back. Here’s to hoping we are Marvin-less in 2018. If not, it’s just another 15 years of sucking for Cincinnati. Nothing we aren’t used to.

Nati Boys #17: Bengals Season Preview


The NFL season is back, and it’s time for the Nati Boys to give you their predictions for the Cincinnati Bengals season, and for the Super Bowl.  We also talk a little baseball, with JD Martinez trying to imitate Scooter Gennett, BP moving out of Atlanta and onto the Angels, Bryan Price coming back next season for the Reds, and those cheating Red Sox.  We wrap up the episode with our fantasy draft of things that are more likely to happen than the Jets winning the Super Bowl.

Intro music provided by: http://www.bensound.com


Nati Boys #9: The Great Jersey Debate


On today’s episode of the Nati Boys Podcast, the guys talk some NFL football, including Marvin Lewis news, Wilforks retirement, and Tom Brady’s concussions.  We touch on the Chris Pratt/Anna Faris split, before moving onto the Little League World Series, and some Reds talk.  We end the episode with a Fantasy Draft of our favorite professional sports team jerseys.

Intro music provided by: http://www.bensound.com