Nati Boys #81: Hue, I Hardly Knew Ye

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On this weeks episode of the Nati Boys podcast, we dive into the Browns decision to oust Hue Jackson and Todd Haley, talk a little bit about the Bengals bye week, and give you our picks against the spread for the football games this weekend. For the fantasy draft this week, we pick things that were more successful than Hue Jackson’s run in Cleveland. Enjoy the show!

Intro music provided by: http://www.bensound.com

3-36-1, The Browns finally say they’re done!

Well, it happened, The Cleveland Browns finally decided they were done with their 9th coach in 18 years. I think it may have had something to do with his 36 losses, but who am I to speculate. The three wins seemed to be enough for Jimmy Haslam (Owner), there were some reports he wanted changes but not at the head coaching position. In the end, John Dorsey (GM) helped him come to a decision that the best direction for this team was to move on from their head coach. Hue I still love you and let’s just get this out of the way, welcome back to Who Dey Nation.

Moving on, In a bold attempt to reinvent themselves the Browns have named Defensive Coordinator, Gregg Williams as the interim head coach. You may remember this psycho from HBO’s Hard Knocks, where he became a show favorite because of his angry outburst during pretty much every episode. (below is one of my personal favorites). Gregg Williams and Hue Jackson are like oil water when it comes to coaching, which may be the inspiration to his promotion. Hue has always been thought of as a players coach which works for some teams, but the Browns have lacked discipline and direction since they returned to Cleveland in 1999. Williams with a more aggressive approach will attempt to change the misfortunes of one of sports longest running jokes. GOOD LUCK! (LIAM NEESON VOICE)

Browns Finally Win, but The Opening of the Bud Light Fridges in Cleveland Was a Major Letdown

I don’t know about you, but when I heard there was a bunch of free beer to be had when the Browns finally earned their first victory in over 600 days, I expected anarchy the moment the clock struck 0:00. I was looking forward to it because I love watching videos on Twitter of fans destroying their own cities after a big win. Usually it’s for a championship, but a victory over the Jets on a Thursday night is about as close to a Super Bowl as the Browns will get for the foreseeable future.

Browns fans drink in sorrow, they drink in victory every few years, and they have no problem getting rowdy in honor of their beloved football team. That’s why I’m a little disappointed in how civil the opening of the beer fridges were. Check it out for yourself.  Continue reading

The Cleveland Browns Are the Betting Favorites for Just the Second Time in the Last 35 Games

The Cleveland Browns are bad. I don’t care what kinda of bump they got in the public’s eye after their mediocre season of Hard Knocks this preseason. Anybody who knows football knows that Cleveland doesn’t have what it takes to be a competitive football team. They don’t have the talent, they don’t have the coaching and they sure as hell don’t have a winning culture. They have coaches going at each other’s necks over who will or won’t be practicing. They have the island of misfit toys filling the meeting rooms across all positions. I’ll still never understand what in the hell Jarvis Landry was thinking when he signed a contract extension after being traded to Cleveland. LSU education for ya. Money talks I guess, even if it means you’re stuck living in a city that is most famously known for it’s river that caught on fire and being the taint stuck between the dickheads in Detroit and assholes in Pittsburgh.

At least they have Josh Gordon, an oasis of talent in the Desert of Suck. Oh wait, no they don’t. They finally decided to cut bait with the talented WR because he was 10 minutes late to the facility with a mysterious hamstring injury that miraculously healed when it was time to report to his new team in Foxborough. Continue reading

All Eyes Are on Tonight’s Ohio State vs. TCU Match-up… and… BAM Josh Gordon Is Getting Released

As America was settling down for the evening, getting ready for tonight’s Top-15 match-up between Ohio State and TCU, the Browns dropped a bombshell that I don’t think anyone was expecting.

Don’t get me wrong… I think we all knew this is how the Cleveland-Gordon love story would end, but I don’t think anyone was expecting it this early in his most recent comeback tour.  Continue reading

Mychal Kendricks Released After Insider Trading Charges – Jimmy Haslam, Pot Meet Kettle

Despite his invaluable scouting report he provided to the Browns on his former Eagles teammates (a report that anyone with NFL Sunday Ticket could have provided) the Browns have decided they’re not in the business of shady….. business… at least when it comes to their players.

I figured this move was coming eventually, mostly because he’d be busy serving time in a white collar prison, but the Browns decided to cut ties with Mychal Kendricks on the same day he was hit with insider trading charges. The questionable part about this move was brought to the forefront by our friends at ProFootballTalk.com  Continue reading

Johnny Manziel Better Learn French, Vite

ProFootballTalk.comThe Hamilton Tiger-Cats have agreed to trade Manziel to the Montreal Alouettes, according to Duane Ford of TSN.

Alouettes head coach Mike Sherman knows Manziel well, having coached him at Texas A&M. Manziel’s redshirt freshman season in 2011 was Sherman’s final season coaching the Aggies.

The Alouettes have already tried three quarterbacks (Drew Willy, Jeff Mathews and Matt Shiltz) and have the worst offense in the Canadian Football League. If Manziel can’t beat those guys out, that’s a very bad sign.

It’s hard to believe the Alouettes would trade for Manziel if they aren’t going to play him, so it appears that Manziel may soon, finally, get on the field in Canada.

Live from Hamilton, Ontario:

Hey Johnny, wanna go to Montreal?

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Mac and Whitty’s NFL Uniform Power Rankings (32-25)

Mac and Whitty have a lot of similar interests. One thing they almost universally agree on is what makes a uniform good or bad. In the spirit of the NFL Divisional Round Weekend, they decided to power rank the NFL uniforms. Each genius made their list, 32 being the worst, 1 the best. In the event of two teams’ rankings average being a tie, the city with the lowest elevation got the nod, because low man always wins. Here we go…

 

32. Jacksonville Jaguars (Mac: 32, Whitty 32)

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Mac: Embarrassing. That’s really all you can say about Jacksonville’s helmet. If they needed extra cash to finish painting their helmets, they could’ve just called the Milliron Sports office and we would’ve floated them the funds to avoid having to look at these atrocities every Sunday. Be better, Jaguars. They look like an NFL Europe reboot, which makes perfect sense now that I think about it…

Whitty: Yikes. This uniform has just about everything I hate in it. Weird number font. Partial stripe on the pants. Weird trim around the collar. And the helmet. My god, the helmet. I don’t know how anyone thought that was a good idea. I actually like the black, teal and gold color combination, and think it could look good if done right. The Jags unis are not done right.

 

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Mac: 31, Whitty 31) 

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Mac: The Bucs may have the worst number font used in all of sports. It reminds me of some of my drawings as a kid where I’d fail miserably to recreate the electronic numbers seen on scoreboards (I drew a lot of sports pictures, sue me). Pair this with the fact that their equipment manager ordered the wrong decal size for their helmet, and you’re looking at a disaster of a uniform.

Whitty: There’s not much to like here. The helmet logo is too big, I’m not a fan of the contrasting shoulder panels, the quarter-stripe at the bottom of the pants is pointless and the number font looks ugly. Extra points off for the font because it reminds me of an alarm clock, which gives me anxiety about waking up early for work. Do everyone a favor and go back to the old school creamsicle jerseys.

 

30. Seattle Seahawks (Mac: 30, Whitty: 29)

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Mac: I feel like Tony Sparano every time I watch the Seahawks because the neon green accent is just too bright for an NFL uniform. “Slap on the shades bro, the Seahawks are on SNF for the 48th time this season”. The texture of their numbers and random helmet panel also don’t belong on an NFL uniform. This is the type of stuff I’d expect out of a PAC-12 team trying to look cool and relevant for recruits at their 11:30PM ET kickoff.

Whitty: There’s a lot going on here, and most of it sucks. The neon green just looks out of place. The strange stripe pattern on the pants doesn’t make sense and the shoulder stripes aren’t much better. Another team that would benefit from dialing the clock back 20 years or so.

 

29. Cincinnati Bengals (Mac: 29, Whitty: 28)

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Mac: I’m convinced that the Bengals’ uniforms are a product of Mike Brown and the NFL going to a stoned 15-year-old kid and handing him all the XP he needed to create a uniform on an outdated version of Madden since those jerks at EA got rid of the uniform creation mode because they’re snowflakes and can’t handle a very handsome blogger in Ohio creating better uniforms than their bosses at the NFL. I am cool with the helmet, but the stripes on the shoulder and different color panels on the away uniform are enough to send me into an OCD fit of rage. Bring back the classic looks from when us Bengals fans were just happy to get six wins, because that’s the state of the team anyway.

Whitty: I love the Bengals helmets. They’re unique and classic, but that’s about the only positive part of their current uniform set. The number font looks bad, I hate the contrasting sleeve/shoulder panels (especially on the white jersey) and I don’t like the shortened pants stripe that wraps around the front. I’d love to see them go back to the uniforms from the 90’s and early 2000’s.

 

28. Arizona Cardinals (Mac: 27, Whitty: 27) 

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Mac: If we were doing rankings based on helmets alone, then Arizona would find themselves in the top 5. I don’t know why, but the plain white helmet with the simple Cardinal logo just gets me. Their white helmet seems so much cleaner and crisper than any other organization. It’s too bad the uniforms didn’t follow suit. The busy panels of alternating colors make it look like Larry Fitzgerald is sweating whiteout (Bic sponsorship in the works??) and the road uniforms get even busier. I preferred the Cardinals when they were the worst organization in football and their uniforms looked like practice jerseys.

Whitty: This uniform set has a lot of unnecessary details to make it seem more “modern”, but they should have kept it simple. I don’t like the sleeve stripe style and I’m normally not a fan of uniforms with side panels on the jersey or tapered pants stripes.  

27. Cleveland Browns via elevation tie breaker with Arizona (Mac: 24, Whitty: 30)

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Mac: Hahahahahahahaha – so let’s get this straight: a team, who’s only redeeming quality for the entire history of their franchise was the fact that they had some of the best uniforms in the NFL despite their poorly chosen color scheme, decides to do a uniform shake up and comes up with this?? El oh f’n el. The stripes, the 1996 3D number font, the “CLEVELAND” across the chest like they’re a high school team, “BROWNS” down the side of their leg like they were afraid they’d get their pants mixed up with another team’s at a slumber party. Thank you for being you, Cleveland. Never change (unless you’re going back to your old uniform look).

Whitty: Cleveland probably has the worst color scheme in the league, but for the longest time they still managed to look halfway decent thanks to a very simple, classic uniform template. They ditched the classic look in recent years in favor of something more modern, which is a major downgrade. Hate the dropshadow on the numbers. Hate the truncated pants stripe and hate the “BROWNS” wordmark down the side of the pants. If nothing else, I’d say this uniform is fittingly terrible for a terrible football team.

 

26. Atlanta Falcons (Mac: 26, Whitty: 26)

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Mac: *Copy & paste the Cardinals write-up* You can tell the Cardinals and Falcons got uniform redesigns around the same time, because they have the same fatal flaws. Too many small panels and weird lines all over the uniform. Two franchises that had solid uniforms have been ruined by the need to look cool for jersey sales. Sure, 10-year-old kids in Nebraska might be rocking a $75 Julio Jones jersey because they like the red, black, and white confetti look. But is it really worth it? Is it?

Whitty: (See “Cardinals”). Another uniform that got worse when it was “modernized”. The sleeve panel color seems a bit much, and I hate the thin, tapered pants stripe. When they switched to their current set they also updated the Falcon logo, I assume to make it look more fierce. Seems unnecessary but I don’t hate it. I could do without the rest though. 

 

25. Tennessee Titans (Mac: 28, Whitty: 23)

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Mac: Do the Titans look like a team that designed their uniforms to be cool and hip heading into the new millennium? Yes, they do. In fact, they are still playing in the same uniforms since 1999 when they made the full transition from the Houston Oilers old (fresh-to-death) jump-offs. The logo looks like a comet with a “T” slapped on the side, and the two-toned shoulders look like hot garbage if they aren’t lined up perfectly on the shoulder pads. I would recommend going back to the classic Oilers look with a reimagined Titans logo. That’s just me though, you know, the consumer (who doesn’t buy jerseys).

Whitty: I feel like I should hate these uniforms more than I actually do. I like the combination of colors that they work into the uniforms and while the font template isn’t quite as traditional as some teams, it doesn’t look bad. The thing I don’t like is the contrasting shoulder panels. I prefer a jersey that’s more or less one color (with the exception of any logos, numbers and stripes). I also can’t stand helmets that have stripes that don’t go all the way back. Overall it’s not a terrible look, but definitely could use an update.

Wake Up With Whitty – 9/2/2017

Good morning and welcome to another edition of Wake Up With Whitty. College football is officially here, as we have a full slate of games ahead of us today. Among those games is possibly one of the most anticipated season openers ever, #1 Alabama vs #3 Florida State. This very well could be a preview of one of our College Football Playoff matchups. Several other teams kicked off their seasons earlier this week, including the Ohio State Buckeyes (check out my recap here) and the Cincinnati Bearcats, who both opened the season with wins on Thursday night. If you’re looking to kill some time between now and that next big game, then check out this edition of Wake Up With Whitty and let me know what you think.
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