I Got Tricked by Clickbait Today and It Was Complete and Utter Bullshit

I’m not usually one to click on random articles that I know are just slide shows trying to rack up pageviews and clicks so they can sell more ads (sorry for the industry lingo, but someday when you’re in the biz, you’ll understand) but for some reason I was very intrigued when I came across this on Twitter.

Was it a horny thing because of the girl in the blue dress with the totally not touched up photo to make her stomach look flatter than a freshly planed 2×6? If you’re still confused, I’m talking about the picture on the right. The lady on the left is wearing a blouse, not a dress, idiot.

No, it wasn’t a horny thing. There are fucked up subs on Reddit where you can see much better things if you’re looking for such a thing. At least that’s what I’ve been told. I wouldn’t know.

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Ok, my wife isn’t standing behind me anymore…

Yeah. Of course I clicked on the link because of the girl in the blue dress. But again, not really a horny thing. I just wanted to know why in the fuck someone was dressed like that in Walmart. Also, she was hot.

Is she Russian? She kinda looks like she could be Russian based on some of those subreddits I’ve never been on and have only heard about. Or maybe she’s just a normal, boring American chick that is into tall, formerly in shape not completely fat, hopeless bloggers just begging for pageviews so he could sell ads like people who make Walmart slideshows that totally not horny dudes click on after seeing the thumbnail.

Just a second, shes back. 

The reason I clicked on the article was because it reminded me of a great website that we used to look at all the time in college. I don’t even know if it’s still in existence or has been bought out by another website by now.

Yep. Still a thing. And boy am I disappointed.

people of walmart

You ever see someone from high school and you can hear them think “man, what happened to him? He was always in good shape and happy. I never thought in just 15 years he’d end up overweight, miserable and have the hair of a 65-year-old man”.

That’s how I felt going to People of Walmart. That site was always so awesome and filled with incredibly absurd pictures of the patrons of Walmart. Now it’s been infiltrated by ads, and as I suspected, appears to be part of a group of websites instead of just standalone place where we could all laugh at 74-year-old men wearing yoga pants and mismatched shoes.

Ok, she’s gone again. 

What do you think she was looking at? Was she looking at the Arizona Iced Tea can to see how many calories was in it?

devil with the blue dress

Was she just a college student getting ready for the night much like we’d come across in beautiful Athens, Ohio every night? Perhaps. Again we don’t know just based on the thumbnail. And guess what. You’ll never fucking know. You know why?

Because she wasn’t even in the slideshow.

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Those sons of bitches. Noteabley? More like NotGonnaShowYouTheBabe-ly.

To say I was shooketh was an understatement. If I can’t trust a promoted tweet that was forced upon me in my timeline, what could I trust? I was so disgusted that I could hardly finish my third Wild Cherry Pepsi of the day. I mean, I did. But I didn’t enjoy it like I should have.

Now my day is ruined. I will never know why this Devil in a Blue Dress is studying the side of an Arizona Iced Tea can. Then again, maybe I will. I’m just gonna keep clicking the article until the picture shows up in the slideshow. There must be a glitch.