Man, these are rough and boring times. Everyone seems to be on edge because of the unknown and uncertainty of when things will start to get back to normal. But for the most part, it seems like everyone has come together and rallied against the common enemy (go fuck yourself Coronavirus).
Ok, so maybe I wished hemorrhoids upon people who are hoarding toilet paper like we’re about to have a nuclear holocaust, but that’s just pure insanity. Are you going to be home more frequently and using your own toilet paper instead of the single ply toilet paper at Target while your wife circles around the impulse buy stuff right next to the Starbucks, texting “are you almost done?” several times before just telling you to meet her by the kid’s clothes. But the fact of the matter is there’s absolutely no reason for every single store in every single town to be sold out of toilet paper. People just aren’t shitting that much! And I think I’d know. People are cooking at home more and unable to go drink at a bar. No liquor? No 3AM food runs? No need for a spare bedroom full of Charmin, pal.
Ok, so back to this crazy lady. I am sure she’s very flustered and has been going through a lot. New York City seems to be a hotbed for Coronavirus and a lot of people think it will get worse before we even start to have hope that it’ll get better. I’m not a doctor or scientist, so it’s not really my place to say. Apparently, she’s no doctor or scientist either.. or someone who can pass third grade math.
Sweet Jesus, it’s even worse when you see how much she dug in. You see, the math is pretty simple. Luckily the butcher’s social media person (who I’m assuming is just the same person who is working at the counter) was readily available to point it out.
It’s been all day and there’s been no response from Jennifer. Either her phone died and she has no idea she’s getting roasted all over Twitter or she’s too embarrassed to even respond. Personally, I’d just delete the tweet, but I’d also never go at the neck of a company online and make such a simple, stupid math error like that. Different strokes for different folks, as I always say.
I look forward to Jennifer’s next tweet. Not the point that I’ll follow her, but I’ll keep checking back and report. If she has any self awareness, she’ll just post a picture of the cooked ribeyes without a caption.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some toilet paper duties to take care of.