What Will Roger Goodell Buy With All of the Bengals-Steelers Fine Money?

 

Cincinnati.com – The Cincinnati Bengals and Pittsburgh Steelers racked up $63,816 in lost dollars on Friday due to an infraction by Bengals safety George Iloka and the one-game suspension of Steelers receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster.

In the grand scheme of things and with the way the game went and the sports world reacted, this doesn’t seem like much money. You’d think game checks would be getting yanked left and right with the narrative we’ve heard all week long. Was this an ugly game for all parties involved? Yeah. Was this a black eye on the league that is “trying” to clean the game up? Probably. Does Roger Goodell have a massive boner trying to decide what he’s gonna buy with this $64k? Absofuckinglutely he does.

Before you get all pissy – yes, I know he doesn’t actually get to pocket the money. Or does he? I’m too lazy to look it up right now, so lets assume he does. What kind of car should he buy? Maybe he could buy a few friends since he probably doesn’t have any? Does he have kids? That would require sex and King Goodell has about as much sex appeal as Darren Rovell after a night of trying $6 gourmet sandwiches at minor league ballparks just so he can get some cheap retweets. So maybe no kids. Again, I don’t feel like looking it up. So instead of researching anything about Roger Goodell’s life, I decided to come up with a list of a few suggestions for Ol’ Rog.  Continue reading