New Year’s Day Preview (Unofficially Sponsored By My Attempt To Eat a Party Sub* From Jersey Mike’s)

It’s everyone’s favorite day of the year: The day that I order a Jersey Mike’s party sub (well, they call it a box of subs) and fail miserably in eating it. I’m not a big excuse guy, but this is my third attempt and the first two were unsuccessful. Last year my New Year’s Day was spent tending to a toddler with a fever and the poor decision of ordering roast beef on a portion of the subs. You never realize how dry roast beef is until you’re trying to eat five feet of sub with it. The first year I wasn’t as fat as I am now, so again, not my fault. I’ve done everything in my power to change that for 2019, so things are looking pretty favorable.

While I’m embarking on the journey of 5-feet of delicious sandwich, there’s a lot to watch on TV. Personally, I think it’s bullshit that we have to wait until noon for the sports day to start but I guess all of the people who have lives are hungover and need the sleep and time to recover before things get started. Luckily, you have this to read until the Outback Bowl kicks off at 12:00 PM EST. Continue reading