Down With Burger King

I’ll set the stage for you. It was a beautiful day and I couldn’t even begin to imagine spending my lunch hour in my office.. Warm, sunny, slight breeze. Everything you want in a mid-February afternoon.

Before I get too far into the story I’ll address the elephant in the room. I know what you’re thinking, “surely someone with your highly sought after skills has an office with windows.” I do, in fact. I’m wall to wall with windows but not floor to ceiling. Something I’ll be sure to bring up when it’s time to negotiate my next contract.

After walking to my car I realized I didn’t have anything to eat for lunch, so I would just hit a drive thru on my way back from driving around town admiring the nice weather. It was too windy with the windows open so I had to settle for air conditioning inside the car rather than the lovely temperature outside. At that point I realized I wasn’t doing anything at all to enjoy the nice weather, but I was in too deep and decided to keep following the plan. After taking a few laps around the city, it was time to head back. I hit a crossroad, both literally and figuratively. Wendy’s and McDonald’s were both on the left side of the four-lane road I was driving down and would require left hand turns to head back to the office. Sure, there are intersections with lights, but no green turn arrows. So who knows how long I’d be sitting there, shoveling fries into my mouth, waiting to turn left. At that point my only two options on the right side of the road were Panera Bread and Burger King. I absolutely despise Panera Bread, plus I hate just about any restaurant that I have to get out of my car for. Burger King it is.

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McNuggets Headbutt? I’m Lovin’ It

FOX News – A McDonald’s employee in the U.K. was reportedly suspended for head-butting a customer after an argument broke out over Chicken McNuggets.

The customer allegedly became upset after being told he couldn’t order nuggets because the menu had already changed over to breakfast, according to the Echo.

The incident occured at around 4:50 a.m.

Warning: NSFW Language


I get both sides here. I’ve never worked in the fast food industry, so I can’t say I know how the antler-wearing fry cook was feeling, but I can understand rage building up inside of you to the point that you headbutt a drunk guy who has worn out his welcome.

I also understand being really drunk and wanting one specific type of food. If you want McNuggets you don’t care about McDonald’s arbitrary schedule for menu items. Who are they to decide that you’re not allowed to eat a 20 piece nugget before passing out to some Netflix and waking up wondering why you couldn’t convince yourself to finish the 32oz Gatorade sitting on the coffee table? That’s why I’m glad I live in America. Last time I checked, we were allowed to be fat all hours of the night. Time to catch up with the times, England.

My Local Taco Bell Could Stand to Learn a Thing or Two From This Place


Ever get tired of having to wait 10 minutes for your $15 worth of Taco Bell on a Tuesday night? Yeah, me too.

This McDonald’s in whatever city they’re in has their shit together. Not only do they get him his order in record time, they don’t even make him stop or tap the brakes. I’ll take a longer route home from work if I know I won’t have to stop or wait at any lights, so this is the perfect scenario for me. If McDonald’s can do it, why can’t Taco Bell? It’s not like McDonald’s has the Harvard (on the Hocking) of fast food training programs.

Maybe someday my local Taco Bell will be able accommodate my request, but until then, I’d settle for just shaving a few minutes off my wait time. I’ll give Taco Bell credit though, I’d like to think they’re smart enough to not throw the drinks into the car. Then again, probably not. I better buy some waterproof seat covers.