Does This Look Like the Face of a Guy Who Stole a Website Idea and Is Now Crapping His Pants on Capitol Hill?

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Let’s just get this out in the open right now. I hate Facebook. Hate hate hate hate it. I have an account, but I only get on when they send me the “hey idiot, you have 74 pending notifications and have been tagged in 43 pictures” email once every couple of months. Truth be told, if I wasn’t worried about losing contact with family and friends that have moved away from Cincinnati, I’d probably scrap my account all together.

Facebook was cool back when it was only available at certain colleges. Did I feel like a bad ass when Ohio University was added to Facebook and other shithead and poser schools weren’t approved yet? God damn right I did. There was nothing better than editing someone’s wall to make it look like one of your other friends said or did something embarrassing. Want a private group only certain people on your dorm’s floor can join as a memento of something funny that happened at 3am on a random Wednesday? Well “I remember when Jack pissed his pants after too much Southern Comfort” was a group ready to spit out invites to anyone who was there. If you don’t understand anything I just said in the last paragraph, no I won’t buy you beer for your senior prom.  Continue reading