The Leaked Trailer for “Fast and Furious: Compact Economy Class” Is Here and It Looks Incredible

This is too perfect. I think we’ve all been in a situation where some asshole is doing 63MPH in the fast lane when all we wanna do is get to the office five minutes late instead of ten. Why can’t they just get over and let the rest of us pass? Mostly because they’re assholes, but maybe they’re just in their own little world and have no idea what they’re doing to everyone behind them who hit the snooze button one too many times.   Continue reading

I’ve Found Cincinnati’s Next Sport to Break Our Hearts

I’m not gonna lie, things aren’t going so hot in Cincinnati and surrounding cities in the sports world. The Cincinnati-North Blue Jackets just blew what looked like their first NHL playoff series win and the Bengals are coming off of a 7-9 season that was so bad/boring I can’t even recall a single moment from any of the 16 games. Wait, nevermind, I just remembered AJ Green making Jalen Ramsey his bitch in Jacksonville. Ok, other than that, I can’t really remember anything from last season. Even the Reds are living down to expectations and making the dog days of summer come early. I still find myself watching them every night, but I wish I wish I had a team that was playing for something.  Continue reading

DB’s Best Thing Seen On Reddit: 2/6/18

Full disclosure: this isn’t really from today, but hey, who cares. I saw it over the weekend and can’t stop thinking about it, so here it is: $17.5 million in a bedframe.

Apparently these were funds allegedly “earned” in a pyramid scheme. The person that had gotten the funds tried to launder it, and boom, they got busted. If I’m the cop that walks in on this $17.5 million, I’m retiring tomorrow. Looks like there’s only $10 million there to me. I’m heading to Aruba.

It’s good to know that a standard bedframe can probably hold close to $30 million though, for my future in pyramid scheming. Apparently this person was just one part in a multi-billion dollar scheme of home phone/internet package sales. That means that a lot of people probably got away with it. It’s almost worth the risk. Almost.

Okay, back to my soul-sucking desk job. Maybe I’ll win the lottery soon. I can dream, can’t I?

DB’s Best Thing Seen On Reddit: 1/25/18

I fell down a Reddit hole today.  On the front page, there was a gif (pronounced with a soft “g”) of Chris Pratt on the set of Parks and Rec making everyone laugh at something he did with his ice cream cone. That led me to read all of the comments, and in one of them was a youtube link to all of Chris Pratts bloopers and outtakes from his days on the set of one of my favorite sitcoms.

Pratt is a national treasure. Enjoy this video.


DB’s Best Thing Seen On Reddit Today

Everybody loves Paul Rudd. Show me someone who has a distaste for Rudd, and I’ll show you someone I don’t trust. I don’t know if it’s his charm, or his boyish good looks, but I just wanna give that dude a hug. Whether he’s teaching Jason Segel how to surf in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, or dating Phoebe on Friends, I’ve always found him funny to watch and endearing.

— Side note: I would not have guessed that Paul Rudd was going to turn 49 next year–

Apparently, Paul has a running gag for when he appears on Conan (who I’m also a big fan of). Instead of showing a clip of whatever movie it is he’s promoting, he shows a hilarious out of context scene from a terrible 80’s movie called Mac and Me. He’s been doing it for 15 years, and the linked video above is a compilation of him fooling Conan. Enjoy!

Reddit User Strikes Secret Santa Gold

Reddit has always confused and scared me. Some people might say I’m even intimidated by Reddit. Not everyone, but some people. Now it looks like there’s a whole other layer of Reddit for me to be scared of. Not only do these people form communities and seem to know each other just like a couple of Regular Joes standing around the water cooler talking about their dickhead boss named Peter, but now they are sending each other hundreds of dollars in gifts for Secret Santa.

Reddit user /u/pakmann struck gold this holiday season when he received an Xbox One S for Christmas from /u/Cheewa1980.  See, even the way you address/tag/whateverthefuckitscalled other users is weird. /u/? Whatever, I’ll play your stupid game.

Let’s all take a second and tip our caps to /u/Cheewa1980 before I get to the meat and potatoes about what’s bothering me. You did it bud, you got a great gift. I’m sure /u/pakmann is very thankful and you made his holiday season that much better. But…. Continue reading