Television’s Best Dads Power Rankings

Earlier in the year, on Mother’s Day in fact, I compiled a list of the hottest television moms. Since today is Father’s Day I tried to make sure both sides were represented, but let’s be honest, there aren’t many good looking dads on television. Instead, casting directors forced my hand and made me write a blog about the best television dads. A lot of television dads are great for different reasons, so while some people might see certain guys as “bad dads”, I’ve tried to appreciate them for who they are. Life as a dad is about more than just making sure food is on the table and yelling at the referees from the sideline and I think this list provides a well rounded appreciation for dads of all shapes, sizes and mental capacities.  So without further ado…

lets get it on

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Hero Psychic Cat Predicts World Cup Winner

Let me first state, for the record, that this is not a soccer blog. We don’t allow such things on this site. It’s bad enough someone had the audacity to write a LeBron blog earlier in the week, so I’ll be damned if it was followed up by a soccer blog of all things. I just want to give credit where credit is due. I’ve always been more of a dog guy, but this cat is a freaking hero. Regardless of your stance on how miserable of a sport soccer is to watch, everyone seems to get sucked into the World Cup every four years. Me? I might catch a game on at the bar/restaurant or if someone has a hot wife they keep showing in the stands, my TV may find the match. But other than that, you can keep your 1-0 final scores and South American/European flop-fests. We get enough of that in the NBA playoffs, so why would I continue the torture for another month after Golden State’s annual parade?  Continue reading

The 2018 Cincinnati Reds Can Legally Drink, Finally

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No more sneaking around campus with water bottles filled with vodka. No more mixing Gatorade and gin and acting like you’re just trying to replenish your electrolytes at 11pm on a Friday night while walking around in an American Eagle button-up that you think will get you laid. Hell, they don’t even need to cough when cracking their beers open in the communal dorm showers. Actually, that one never goes away. I still cough when opening beers at home in the shower and I’m 11 birthdays past my 21st.

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Scooter Gennett Wins the “Scooter Gennett Player of the Week Award” and People Still Want to Trade Him

Another week, another National League Player of the Week award for our boy Scooter Gennett. After hitting .591 with 4 HRs over the course of a week, there’s no way he wasn’t going to win the award again. This is the second time this month he’s won the award, yet fans are calling for him to be traded away as soon as possible. Yeah yeah yeah, rebuild blah blah draft picks and prospects blah. I don’t give a fuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge (Scooter’s a good Christian boy so I don’t wanna sully his name with gratuitous cussing) about what people think we should do with Scooter. The man can hit and when you have a bat like his, you find a way to keep it in the lineup regardless of what prospects you have in the pipeline.   Continue reading

John Jaso Tries to Say Hi to His Friends and Possibly Sell Them Some Weed, but Hard-ass Usher Just Says No

John Jaso Hippie

Ah, yes.. Hippies vs. Hard-ass Ushers. A rivalry that has been passed on through generations from ballpark to ballpark. Tropicana Field is known for packing them in so I can understand where this lady is coming from. What happens when John Jaso is down there talking to former teammates and coaches and some 78-year-old retired dude just happens to be coming to sit down in the only seat occupied in an entirely empty row? I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume John Jaso is a lover, not a fighter. You know what they always say: Peace, love and baseball. One love. Buffalo soldier. Other hippie things. Although, I would pay to see John Jaso try to passively ward off the onslaught from an old man who has nothing to lose.

The way the whole thing shook out was quite humorous. In between trips to the concession stand for candy and hot dogs, John Jaso wanted to throw a couple of ‘sups’ out to his boys from his days in Tampa. Were they going to talk about the time they got tossed from one of Tampa’s 3,824 strip clubs or the time one of them got so drunk the night before a day game and lost the battle vs. bubble guts in the dugout? I don’t really know. Maybe he’ll tell us when he comes on the podcastContinue reading

Ageism Wins Again: 25-Year-Old Man Not Allowed to Play High School Basketball

old man basketball

Star Tribune – Police say a 25-year-old man duped two Dallas high schools for nine months by posing as a 17-year-old student and Hurricane Harvey evacuee in order to play basketball.

Court records show Sidney Bouvier Gilstrap-Portley faces a charge of tampering with government records. He was arrested Friday.

Dallas school district officials say he first enrolled at Skyline High School and later moved to Hillcrest High School, where he joined the basketball team.

Isn’t this pretty much everyone’s dream? Aside from being terribly out of shape, I always wonder how I’d hang in high school sports now that I’m 14 years removed from my senior year. Holy shit, I’m old. I never realized how old I was getting until I just did the math to see how long ago it was since I was 18. Maybe I should’ve lived out this fantasy as a 25-year-old like our boy Sidney.  Continue reading

The Cincinnati Reds Reach the Ten Win Threshold For First Time Since 2017

All it took was the Mets batting out of order, killing a 2-out scoring opportunity and Adam Duvall hitting his first career walk-off home run in extra innings in front of a 1/3 capacity crowd at GABP.

Baby, we’re back.

They said it couldn’t be done, and to be honest, I was starting to believe them. Howevah, the Reds did what seemed impossible today as they hit the 10 win mark for the first time since 2017. Things weren’t looking great early on, but a managerial shakeup and shuffling of the lineup finally got the hometown team over the hump.

Not to mention, they also acquired Matt Harvey just moments before dinner on Tuesday night, so I’m thinking that adds about 100ish wins to the current Reds lineup. Before you know it, we could be talking playoff tickets and deciding which soul crushing way we prefer to be eliminated in the NLCS at the hands of the New York Reds-Mets.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though. Let’s focus on getting win #11 (shoutout Barry Larkin) before June. That might require Jesse Winker leading off on a regular basis though, so we might be looking at a July ETA on the coveted 11th tally in the win column.