John Jaso Tries to Say Hi to His Friends and Possibly Sell Them Some Weed, but Hard-ass Usher Just Says No

John Jaso Hippie

Ah, yes.. Hippies vs. Hard-ass Ushers. A rivalry that has been passed on through generations from ballpark to ballpark. Tropicana Field is known for packing them in so I can understand where this lady is coming from. What happens when John Jaso is down there talking to former teammates and coaches and some 78-year-old retired dude just happens to be coming to sit down in the only seat occupied in an entirely empty row? I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume John Jaso is a lover, not a fighter. You know what they always say: Peace, love and baseball. One love. Buffalo soldier. Other hippie things. Although, I would pay to see John Jaso try to passively ward off the onslaught from an old man who has nothing to lose.

The way the whole thing shook out was quite humorous. In between trips to the concession stand for candy and hot dogs, John Jaso wanted to throw a couple of ‘sups’ out to his boys from his days in Tampa. Were they going to talk about the time they got tossed from one of Tampa’s 3,824 strip clubs or the time one of them got so drunk the night before a day game and lost the battle vs. bubble guts in the dugout? I don’t really know. Maybe he’ll tell us when he comes on the podcastContinue reading

The Cincinnati Reds Reach the Ten Win Threshold For First Time Since 2017

All it took was the Mets batting out of order, killing a 2-out scoring opportunity and Adam Duvall hitting his first career walk-off home run in extra innings in front of a 1/3 capacity crowd at GABP.

Baby, we’re back.

They said it couldn’t be done, and to be honest, I was starting to believe them. Howevah, the Reds did what seemed impossible today as they hit the 10 win mark for the first time since 2017. Things weren’t looking great early on, but a managerial shakeup and shuffling of the lineup finally got the hometown team over the hump.

Not to mention, they also acquired Matt Harvey just moments before dinner on Tuesday night, so I’m thinking that adds about 100ish wins to the current Reds lineup. Before you know it, we could be talking playoff tickets and deciding which soul crushing way we prefer to be eliminated in the NLCS at the hands of the New York Reds-Mets.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though. Let’s focus on getting win #11 (shoutout Barry Larkin) before June. That might require Jesse Winker leading off on a regular basis though, so we might be looking at a July ETA on the coveted 11th tally in the win column.

No Ballpark Can Contain Bryce Harper

Bryce Harper crushed a home run last night and the internet is losing it’s collective mind. I’ve never been much of a fan of Statcast or Bryce Harper, but I’m a big fan of page views so I feel that it’s my duty to blog about it. Very noble of me, if we’re being honest.

First of all, I find Statcast to be a bunch of lying nerds that are just making up numbers to hang out with the cool kids who like sports. Ok Dilbert, thanks for the exit velocity on Scott Schebler’s third inning pop out to the center fielder. You made the game that much more enjoyable for me knowing that his lazy fly ball to Albert Almora Jr. clocked in at 94.6 MPH. Wow, you mean to tell me Billy Hamilton’s sprint to first base on a ground-out was 3.7 seconds? Coooooooooool. Maybe that stuff will start counting for “points” in the millennials’ new version of baseball,  but until then: Continue reading

Does This Look Like The Face of a Man Who Practices Karate on Swans?

swan karate

WLWT – A man was arrested after witnesses told police they saw him kicking two swans while practicing karate at Lake Eola in Florida.

Authorities arrested and charged Rocco Mantella Thursday for cruelty to animals.

Before assaulting the animals, the witness said Mantella practiced his kicks before kicking the bird “as hard as possible.” 

Listen, I hate swans just as much as the next guy. Those suckers are mean despite their majestic appearance, and I know from first hand experience. A few summers ago we stayed at a lake house in Michigan. The house was equipped with a dock, two Jon Boats and a massive lake all to ourselves. Well, except for a couple of asshole swans/geese or whatever the fuck they were that would always try to attack us when we were in the middle of the lake. Do you know what it’s like to be circled by gigantic birds with 5ft long necks just pecking at you because you’re on their turf. If you haven’t, I don’t recommend it. I still think back to that summer and have a chill run down my spine.  Continue reading

I’ve Found Cincinnati’s Next Sport to Break Our Hearts

I’m not gonna lie, things aren’t going so hot in Cincinnati and surrounding cities in the sports world. The Cincinnati-North Blue Jackets just blew what looked like their first NHL playoff series win and the Bengals are coming off of a 7-9 season that was so bad/boring I can’t even recall a single moment from any of the 16 games. Wait, nevermind, I just remembered AJ Green making Jalen Ramsey his bitch in Jacksonville. Ok, other than that, I can’t really remember anything from last season. Even the Reds are living down to expectations and making the dog days of summer come early. I still find myself watching them every night, but I wish I wish I had a team that was playing for something.  Continue reading

Your 2018 Cincinnati Reds are Bowl Eligible

 

At the beginning of the season, there wasn’t much hope for the Reds and their postseason chances. Well, today they proved all the haters wrong by becoming bowl eligible as they recorded their 7th win of the season by way of a 8-2 win over the Minnesota Twins, hot.

In all seriousness, finally getting to 7 wins is a really big deal for this Cincinnati Reds team. After starting the season 3-15 and costing Bryan Price his job, the Reds have gone 4-6 and have won 4 of their last 7. That may seem like a rough stretch of baseball for most teams, but when the season started the way it did, any little glimmer of hope makes this team worth tuning into. Some will say this is simply a regression to the mean (we’re talkin’ statistical math, folks), which is probably a large factor, but you can’t deny the fact that Peraza and Votto are finally starting to hit the ball well, which makes the top of the Reds lineup very dangerous for opposing pitchers.

Can we talk about how great Tyler Mahle has been in his last few starts too? He followed up his 11 strikeout performance vs. the Atlanta Braves with another stellar start, striking out 7 Twins on his way to his second victory of the season. His only other win came earlier in the season in the one-game-sweep of the Chicago Cubs. In a season where Luis Castillo has been a disappointment so far, it’s nice to see Mahle performing at a level most thought he could reach after his successful career in the minors, including a perfect game in Double-A Pensacola last season. If the Reds can continue to get some run support for their starting rotation, we could be looking at a .500 team by June. Ok, maybe not. But at least they’ll be more fun to watch than what we saw earlier in the season when they were getting beat 14-3 in Pittsburgh.

One series at a time.. before you know it, our Cincinnati Reds could be playing in the Sugar Bowl. And you know what shirt would look perfect as the Cincinnati Reds take on the Auburn Tigers in New Orleans? That’s right, a Rigglemania shirt. Catch them before they’re gone, brother.

rigglemaniashirt

 

 

The Bengals Learn Their Lesson, Don’t Draft QB That Will Cause Fan Uproar

NFL: AFC Wild Card Playoff-Cincinnati Bengals at Houston Texans

I can’t believe I’m saying it, but the Bengals are actually starting to make some moves that make sense. Anyone who has been around the Cincinnati Bengals over the last 3-4 years knows how annoying a very specific sect of the fan base can be the second Andy Dalton began to struggle. Has Andy been good? Yeah. Has he been great? At times. Has Andy been frustrating? Absolutely. The fact remains, he’s been the best QB on the Bengals roster since the day he was drafted.  Continue reading